To think boys shouldn’t go in to men’s toilets???

[Scotlandma]

This is hypothetical I seen another post about someone not letting their 9 year old use mens public bathrooms

what age do other people let their children go in to toilets on their own?

and how do you navigate them using the disabled toilets if not?? I’d be so worried in case someone actually disabled needed them

Yes that was discussed. It's still active. It's quite an eye opener. Not sure if it's against the talk guidelines by posting it though.

I don't think 8-10 years is an unreasonable age for many children, but I don't set SEN aside quite so easily and this has a significant bearing on any attempt to set an 'average'.

I did think the cut off point should be 8 years old. But after reading the many instances of boys being assaulted, I think I would support any mum who judged it necessary to bring her son in. I think we do need to campaign for more single unit toilets though. It seems the safest, most dignified option all round.

Mine will definitely be out alone by 10 or so. I expect the elder will start walking home without me in year 6. They're 8 and 6 currently. I have a 25 year old as well, but I can't remember back that far 🙈

I take my kids to the ladies with me. Their Dad takes them in the gents with him. Because they’re too young to go in the toilets by themselves so they have to go with whichever parent is accompanying them. When they’re old enough to go in by themselves they will use the appropriate toilet for their sex. I expect that will be about age 10-11, which is the same age I’d let them out unaccompanied.

They know as soon as they start school, if not before that, that boys use the boys' bathrooms and girls use the girls' bathrooms
School toilets are safe for an unaccompanied child. Public toilets used by adult strangers are not.

Totally agree and if I'm out with their dad then he always takes them, we do try to avoid the situation if possible.

Contrary to belief, I'm not out to snatch away young girl's private spaces or purposely make them feel uncomfortable!

Small boy goes in with mum or dad. But after that, uses men’s loo. You are drastically over-thinking!

So mothers of young boys should disregard their safeguarding responsibilities and send their male children, no matter how vulnerable, and no matter what the risk of sexual assault might be to that male child, into the men's loos? And all because a girl might be having a period and be embarrassed about the rustling noise of her sanitary pad.

11-year-olds are in high school here! No way should you be letting your 11-year-old boy use the female bathrooms. That's ridiculous and humiliating for everyone.

Of course they need to use the male toilets. You can wait just outside for them.
They should not be in the disabled unless they are disabled. The only exception to this would be if they were a little older but severely disabled and there was no disabled toilet in which case I would expect them to be closely supervised in the ladies loo.

Yes but they're also still in primary here at 11 too.

Would once be okay then?

I have been through this, years ago with boys. There can be a thick door or double door, making it impossible to hear what is going on. Possibly a phone may help for mums going through this stage.

I don't think the issue is that we don't know what to do whilst they're in there...

What is the issue?

This is what really pisses me off. It's not the frequency that it happens (which is actually far more than I realised) it's the severity of it if, God forbid, it does.

Perhaps read the thread if you're really that ignorant.

Frankly, even if it was limited to inappropriate remarks/suggestions it is not OK.

Poor boys. Humiliating for them to be dragged into the women's toilets by their mother at age 11. And pretty shit for the girls who are expected to share their sex segregated space with a boy who has potentially reached adolescence. And it's women doing this to them as well. Nasty.

They should not be in the women's bathroom at that age. Find somewhere else if you don't want them to use the men's. An 11-year-old doesn't need his mother to accompany him to the toilet, but he also shouldn't be unaccompanied around young girls using the toilet.

I think you're nitpicking, but I take your point. I come back to mothers doing what's best for their children, be they male or female children, given the perceived risks at the time and the importance of safeguarding. And yes, the need to keep male children safe from predatory adults means they will sometimes have to use the female loos, escorted by their mum, however much you would prefer that they didn't.

@Jonei I think it's a good thing women are more aware of the dangers and guarding against them. In the old days boys were treated more toughly than girls and expected to get on with it. I suspect incidences of assault were worse. If less boys are exposed to assault we may very well have less men motivated to commit assaults in the future.

Yeah just pure evil. Clearly doing it to get a kick out of humiliating their sons, with the added bonus of upsetting those poor girls. Perhaps they even started all the rumours about abuse in toilets just so they justify their own abuse. Imagine that.

do You take that attitude with everything in life though?

the risk of being ran over when out will be higher than the risk of encountering trouble in the toilets. Do you never let a child leave the house?

what age is the risk acceptable as it will never completly go.