To think boys shouldn’t go in to men’s toilets???

[Scotlandma]

This is hypothetical I seen another post about someone not letting their 9 year old use mens public bathrooms

what age do other people let their children go in to toilets on their own?

and how do you navigate them using the disabled toilets if not?? I’d be so worried in case someone actually disabled needed them

Agreed, but I teach my boys that EVERYBODY is entitled to privacy and respect.

Good. Why not start with teaching boys that it's not ok for them to be in women's single sex spaces past around age 8, and the reasons why that is.

Just a question: If your, let's say 8 year old, was abused in a men's toilet, would your opinion change? Would you be perfectly happy with them to continue to use them?

Because I don't need to thanks. They'll come in with me till I decide they're old enough not to.

Also, around age 8? Can that be almost 9? When is it that boys become sexual predators and a menace to women, 8 or 9?

Single mum here and my boys are 8 and 5. It's a bit of an issue as my 8 yo is more than happy to go to the men's but it's the waiting around and separation that's the main problem. If the 5yo or myself needs to use the toilet then 8yo could be left waiting around. Sometimes the design of wherever we are means this can take ages! He likes not having to queue but often it means he can be in and out whilst me and the 5yo are still queueing!

I do have reservations about him using the men's by himself but any child is vulnerable. An 11yo couldn't physically protect themselves any more than an 8yo but you definitely wouldn't take an 11yo boy into the ladies.

But you misquote me, to conveniently ignore the last part of my sentence which read "I'm fine to 'budge up' in the loo, if it's the best way to keep children safe from adult sexual predators".

We have a shared duty as parents, and I would've thought as members of the community, to keep our children safe from predators, and that applies equally to male and female children.

That doesn't sound very respectful at all.

Which is the problem with entitled males these days isn't it. When boys are not taught to be respectful by their parents, then they grow into entitled disrespectful men. Which puts woman and girls at risk. Quite the vicious circle going on there.

DS is 6 and we're just starting the transition to him going in alone. At the moment he still uses the ladies most of the time, but places like softplay he'll go alone. I'll also leave him outside the ladies in some places if I need to go and he doesn't, as long as there isn't a queue.

The number of places we do this will increase as he grows, there will still be some sketchy toilets I wouldn't be comfortable sending him into, but as a general rule we would avoid those places anyway. (Eg. I wouldn't send even a 10yo boy into pub toilets but I also wouldn't take my 10yo to a pub).

He has SEN so will probably require help charging until older then average, but fortunately our local pool has family units. If they didn't I'd travel further to one that dose, for a few years.

It’s also not very dignified for the young boy to be dragged into the ladies by their Mum.

By 8 children (SEN aside) should be able to use the toilet independently and not need their mother in there to help them. That really is the barrier. Not being able to wipe their bum without help. Which is why generally younger children go in with a parent. If they are independent younger (like mine was) they can go to the toilet of their own sex. And the parent waits at the door.

I think men also have a right to pee in private without women coming in.

SEN aside, boys of around 7/8 should be in the men’s. If you are concerned, send them in noisily and make it clear you’re outside.

SEN aside, boys of around 7/8 should be in the men’s. If you are concerned, send them in noisily and make it clear you’re outside.

Exactly this. Keep calling out to them.

It's not about boys being sexual predators. It's about girls being able to go to the loo without being embarrassed by the presence of boys. Girls should not be expected to "step aside" for the convenience of boys.

Some common sense and proportionality would be helpful here. We're not talking about 'entitled males' here are we? We're talking about small boys needing a wee and how best to keep them safe from predatory adults, given that all small children whether they be male or female are vulnerable.

Using the female loo, accompanied by their mother, seems the be the only sensible option, unless you are seriously suggesting we should throw our boys to the wolves and damn the consequences?!

It's not about "convenience" though, it's about protecting kids from potential creeps.

From birth apparently

I think the point is that we aren’t talking about small boys. Posters seem fine with small boys going in. It’s when mums want to bring in bigger boys that there are concerns and (as a PP has shared) risks.

Not sure by reading some of the replies on here that some women are familar with layout of mens toilets.
Most men tend to use urinals, a young boy would have too pull down his trousers and pants if not wearing boxers therefore exposing himself in front of a load of strangers, also there is a problem of them going in a cubicle and getting locked in, this happened to my young son and he was absolutely hysterical.
Men's toilets are usually absolutely disgusting and stink of pure piss.
I think that in itself warrants why a lot of mum's out with young sons do not want them using men's toilets on their own, that's without unsavoury behaviour such as drugs and perverts.
Mine used to go in bushes or behind a tree, much preferred that to having to take them in the females.
I think the solution would be to have toilets just fipr.hoping bipys, separate to the men's but not sure how it would be policed.

Just to have toilets fir.young boys, that should read.

The problem with these conversations is it’s all about hypothetical weirdos that people seem to think are everywhere. I imagine a child is far more likely to be abused at school, church, a club or whatever than in a toilet. Maybe I’m wrong but I’ve seen loads of strange women in our toilets so it’s not like they’re a safe haven of sunshine and rainbows.

Yes, I'm sure many abusers today do so as they were taken into female loos by their mums. My children are very respectful, thank you. I'm not sure you can judge my parenting by the fact I'm trying to keep my sons safe for as long as possible.

One thing I do know is that I'd never forgive myself if my children were abused because I'd reluctantly sent them somewhere for fear of upsetting small minority of females.

Agree, but statistically men are more likely to abuse kids than women. It's all hypothetical, but I'd rather not have taken the chance and regretted it. Moot for me now anyway as my lad is a teenager and certainly does not go in the ladies toilet any more but I do feel for mothers of younger boys. You just don't know what to do for the best. The urge to protect your own child comes above anything else for most of us.

Were they naked and drying their clothes under a hand dryer 🤔😂

no, that was just me…sorry about that 😂 one too many Pinot Grigios at lunchtime…

🤣