To think boys shouldn’t go in to men’s toilets???

[Scotlandma]

This is hypothetical I seen another post about someone not letting their 9 year old use mens public bathrooms

what age do other people let their children go in to toilets on their own?

and how do you navigate them using the disabled toilets if not?? I’d be so worried in case someone actually disabled needed them

I don;t know about yours, but mine could tell the difference between men and little boys from a young age. They could also differentiate between "this is ok now with mam" and "this is not ok later on your own".

Do you think taking a 6 year old boy into the ladies with you will lead them to think that grown men in the ladies is ok? Really?

It's the new culture war that has successfully been waged.

My younger boys are 6 and 7 and I have started sending them in to the gents together if the toilets are in a fairly 'safe' place (our local cinema etc). If I only have 1 of them or we are in a dodgier area I still take them into the ladies, but I'm trying to get them both used to the gents. They are both small for their age so could pass for much younger to be honest, but I think it's important for them to learn to respect other women's privacy.

Why would I be teaching my 2 young boys about safe female spaces yet? They're not at the age they need to know this, they treat sexes equally. I need to teach them about safe places for them. Alone and vulnerable, with strangers with their bits out, isn't one.

No mother has satisfactorily explained why she can't just escort her 9 year old son into the men's toilets rather than him using the ladies.

I had a younger dd. While I can tolerate being exposed to male bits it wouldn’t have been fair on her. Plus are men not entitled to single sex spaces too?

I'm a mother to a nearly 9yo. I won't escort him into the men's toilets because I an a strong advocate of protected single sex spaces. I have zero place entering a bathroom which is segregated by sex, and I am not of that sex.

My son is male, therefore he is eligible to use that space. I am not. I'm not happy about sending him in, not one bit. But what is the actual alternative, if no alternative suitable provision is available?

Is he female? No. So he can't use the female toilets.

Is he disabled? No. So he can't use the disabled toilets.

The only option is to wait at the door, listen and call out. It's anxiety inducing for sure. But it does need to be done.

I’m struggling to read this as anything other than “boys should be allowed where girls are undressing even if they assault them, because there are fewer of those assaults than of assaults on boys, and that’s that”.

Which I think is the view of many mums of boys to be fair but still. Wow.

Going to ask again. Why can't women escort their sons into the men's toilets?

Why should men be made to feel uncomfortable by a woman in their toilet? Were the men to invade the women's toilets with their daughters there'd be hell to pay!

Why would I be teaching my 2 young boys about safe female spaces yet? They're not at the age they need to know this, they treat sexes equally. I need to teach them about safe places for them. Alone and vulnerable, with strangers with their bits out, isn't one.

It depends on their age) understanding, but teaching boys about respect for privacy for girls is something every parent should be doing, from an early age.

Gettting changed
Trying clothes on
Drying top after spillage / being caught in the rain
Any number of reasons

Why should that have to be a problem in a women only space

The full grown adult male doesn’t even have to dress up for the occasion. Or shave his beard off.

I am actually talking about toilets, not changing rooms, as per the original question.

It's awful that it has to come down to a choice, but yes, I would choose the option that results in the least incidents of abuse.

It depends on the particular toilet, characters around, the child, what they need to go for, all sorts of things.

This isn't the sort of thing there's a rule for, it's just parental judgement.

But to your last question, and speaking as a woman myself, I'm fine to 'budge up' in the loo

You may be fine.You are not an 8yo girl. Is this a lesson to be teaching young girls - that they need to 'budge up' to allow boys in to their spaces?

Plenty of people speaking for boys in this thread, hardly anyone speaking up for girls - who might, as in the pp's example, have good reason to be wary of boys.

Agreed, but I teach my boys that EVERYBODY is entitled to privacy and respect.

A young teen boy was raped in the men's toilet at my local swimming pool. I warn mine to be alert, to yell out if they are worried, and I wait for them outside.

Six year old, fine. Ten year old, not fine.

Well I've never experienced anything like this. Spillage, no need to remove top. Rain? Is anyone really going to stand naked in a loo and dry their clothes under a hand dryer? Trying on clothes? Not really what a toilet is for.

Personally, if I were to walk into a toilet and somebody had stripped off, I'd find it quite weird and certainly not the norm. And yes, I'm aware people are entitled to do this if they wish, but odd all the same.

Unless you’re saying that you’d feel differently in the case of changing rooms then it’s irrelevant. I struggle to imagine those advocating for 8-9 year olds to use women’s toilets are a-ok with them using male changing rooms.

Well, at least you’re honest about it.

It's no wonder the queues for women's toilets are so long if all that is going on but like you I've never seen anything like that.

I've never had this issue, as all leisure centres near me have family changing villages. I wouldn't use one that didn't, but I appreciate not everyone has that luxury.

Simon, sadly many women have indeed become experts on dodgy male weirdos in lots of public places, from the bloke who comes and takes the seat next to you as a child on the bus to school, (and is clearly too pleased to be there) the flasher in the park when you're about 14, the creepy old guy who tries to pick you up in the pub when you're an older teenager, the comments in the street and from inappropriate colleagues -- you get the picture.
We also know that some men hang around men's public loos, obviously not paedophiles, but nonetheless it can be an unsavoury environment in which to leave our young sons.
So almost all of us women have experienced this in one form or another, which informs our fears for our children.
Perhaps we err on the side of caution -- but can you blame us?

I wouldn’t worry about dodgy weirdos in the men’s loos, they seem to prefer the women’s these days !

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