To think boys shouldn’t go in to men’s toilets???

[Scotlandma]

This is hypothetical I seen another post about someone not letting their 9 year old use mens public bathrooms

what age do other people let their children go in to toilets on their own?

and how do you navigate them using the disabled toilets if not?? I’d be so worried in case someone actually disabled needed them

I can assure you that they exist in real life, and in real toilets. A simple google will enlighten you, albeit grim reading.

My DS is 10 and now goes to the Men's toilets on his own and he started doing this last year. The only exception is if we are at a service station or somewhere 'dodgy' when I take him in with me.

Yes. As I’ve now said 3 times on this thread, I was assaulted as a girl by boys of 9 or 10 who were there with their mums. They did it when she wasn’t watching. It’s getting really tedious having to keep justifying this to strangers.

Going to ask again. Why can't women escort their sons into the men's toilets?

A few implied they would be uncomfortable being in the men's space but turned around and dismissed the possibility of any women and girls who had a problem with 9/10 (in one instance 14!) year old boys in women's loos.

Why can't mothers make the male loos safer for their boys by going in there with the children. In the same way women have to understand that your boys are only there to be safe, men will understand that you're in their space for a reason.

Or is it that women just need to learn to budge up and shut up to keep other people happy?

I'd think at 10 most boys would be embarrassed to go into the ladies with their mum wouldn't they?

I wouldn't because I don't want to see men's penises at the urinals tbh.

A large proportion of older women and pregnant women have bladder incontinence but it is not counted as a disability.
It doesn’t mean you have time to queue for a toilet. It isn’t just those registered as disabled that have this issue.
Disabled toilets are there to offer accessibility if needed but are not exclusively for disabled people.
It is a courtesy not to use them and up to the user, nothing more. If people are more comfortable using them they can.

Women don’t want to use male toilets for safety reasons. You can be attacked whether you have a child with you or not.

Women don’t want to use male toilets for safety reasons. You can be attacked whether you have a child with you or not.

So the answer is to bring your boys to the women's instead, often when they are way too old to be there. Creating fear amongst boys that they are not safe with their own sex. How many cases have you heard where a woman has taken her child into the men's to use the toilet, and been attacked?

Blimey! What r u feeding them!!?

For the same reason that a father shouldn't be escorting his 9 year old daughter into the Ladies'. The child is old enough to go into the toilets designated for their own sex on their own.

This.

My ds came with me until he was old enough to be out and about by himself. He wasn’t a predatory man or even a teenager. He was a child and I’d rather treat him as such than potentially expose him to harm.

You’re jumping the gun.
I didn’t say that.
I answered the question.

Yes. It's much more common than people think.
Also men's toilets are disgusting.

My boys are 11 and 9. They use the men's. I started encouraging them to use the men's at 8. However, even now my eldest is 11, I am nervous in service station toilets and some slightly more dodgy areas. I prefer my boys to go in together, and I would not let my 9 yr old go in alone to some toilets. He'd still have to come with me to the ladies. For my 11 yr old, if he uses a toilet somewhere I'm concerned about, I stand outside and tell him to call for me if needed.

I am very cautious (maybe overly) for the simple reason that I have worked with at least 3 men who as children were raped in public toilets and as adults each if them had significant MH problems as a result. I may be less bothered if I had not met these men. But as I have, their stories are forever etched in my mind and impact my parenting. I have also worked with hundreds of sex offenders and am all to aware that sexual offenders are everywhere in society. You never know who might be in that closed space with your child, who might follow on behind them. Where my children are concerned, their safety is my priority.

Why on earth would your husband not go in with him?

I don't know where you work, but that doesn't reflect my experience of men's toilets at all - and I can guarantee that I've used a few thousand more than you.

All the swimming pools and clubs here have an opposite sex cut off of age 8 for using both sets of toilets. I think this seems fair, and would expect the use of most toilets to be roughly similar in practice.

Our leisure centre is the same. However, I don't usually worry about my son's using the swim pool change facilities on their own. There are usually quite a few children and parents using the change area, they are usually relatively clean, and often my children are changing there with lots of other children, their friends, around and several parents around. This is v different to other public toilets, such as those in parks, services at the side of the road etc... where I think parents need to be more cautious.

I answered you the first time, so won't bother repeating my arguments.

But to your last question, and speaking as a woman myself, I'm fine to 'budge up' in the loo, if it's the best way to keep children safe from adult sexual predators. I think many others are too.

Whilst this is awful, I very much doubt it's anywhere near as common as a child getting abused in a men's toilet. Also, I'm not sure those boys only assaulted you as they were in a women's loo, they'd have done it anywhere. Here we're talking about grown men specifically using toilets to prey on children.

Just get your sons to identify as trans, then they can choose whichever toilets they like.

Got to be honest and say it depends on where said loo is. The men's loo in Tesco or the ones at the cinema were fine for my sons by the time they were 8 or 9. The loos in our local big park when we went for a day out - not until they were were 12 or so.

Statistics show that something like >80% of stranger sexual assaults happen in public loos or changing rooms (which is why women need their own spaces).

Yeah! It's a mad world isn't it! Where little boys of 8 are not allowed to use the female toilets with their mum present, but a full grown adult male dressed in a dress can use a female toilet any time he likes!!

Crazy world we live in :)

Obviously giving your sons clear messages from an early age, the importance of safe female spaces and then taking them into a safe female space isn't confusing at all.