To not virtually attend this wedding...

[DilemmaADay]

Me and DH received an invitation for a wedding of a old but distant friend. The invite is to attend the Wedding over zoom, midweek with a twee poem about how they'd love to have us there but due to space/money our presence virtually is appreciated. Of course there was a line about a gift list as well.

We've RSVPed with thanks, but no thanks. Friend seems genuinely confused as to why we don't want to book a day off work and buy a present for a wedding we've not even been invited to in person. So basically, "use your annual leave and spend money on me but you won't get the meal, drinks, celebration or party that comes with it"

From our mutual friends, 4 got a day invite, another 1 got the zoom invite so can't be that short. The other zoom person is also offended.

I can't believe they had the nerve to include gift information when you aren't actually invited to the wedding! They are the ultimate cheeky fuckers!

Dear God. I went to a Zoom funeral in lockdown, but that I’d rather different…..

Zoom funerals. anyone?
This was sort of a thing at the height of Covid iirc.

I did watch a wedding on Zoom, but that was during Covid too so was fair enough as only had a dozen people there.

The only wedding I have attended via Zoom was because it was arranged at short notice on the other side of the world and the bride and groom didn't expect their UK friends to drop everything for them. It was entirely appropriate in that situation. But the one you describe OP sounds like their heads have got firmly wedged up their backsides. And if you are inviting Zoom guests then don't expect them to get you a present! I'd be tempted to say "You gift is available on Zoom, it's a video of people eating off the dinner set we would have got you in person"!

@2bazookas
Ultimate CFery.

I suppose the next thing will be, people get married online . Men will be able to give birth virtually, online.

Zoom funerals. anyone?

Um. Zoom funerals are a thing. I've been to three.

Send a virtual gif gift!

LOL genius!! 😂

Brilliant!

Yes!

Ahahaha! Bloody hell!

YANBU.

Ahahaha! Bloody hell!

YANBU.

I 'attended' a zoom wedding, towards the end of covid restrictions, but did go along to the very large, socially distanced venue for the evening do later that day. And we gave a monetary gift.

But it was a Saturday.

No way on earth would I take time off during the week for a zoom wedding where I wasn't invited to any of it. I do enough zooming/teams meetings during the week as it is.

Unless it was OK to attend in my PJs between work meetings. No gift.

😂 good on you op for saying no. I swear people loose brain cells when it comes to their wedding day. Yanbu!

That’s a new one and my dh is a wedding photographer. I’ll get him to quiz his videographer mates and see if they’ve been asked to live stream more weddings recently.
I know zoom was a thing for some covid weddings but that was when numbers were truly restricted.

We had an option to stream back in 2008, so i sent it to my uncle in Canada. Bless him, he got the time difference wrong and clicked the link 12 hours too late!

Eff that.

They seem to have to got their wedding confused with a speed awareness course or parent teachers evening. Now do you actually have to be off work or could you sneakily be watching whilst doing something else?

Peak CFs

Bloody fantastic

I declined a zoom funeral recently. I felt a bit guilty.

Zoom funerals are still a thing. We organised my dad's funeral recently, we had the option of a live-stream for an extra £80. We declined.

AFAIK it is very common to have internet streamed funerals in New Zealand, because so many people there have family overseas and it's so far/difficult to get to. DH's uncle died in NZ about 8 or 10 years ago (way pre-pandemic) and they streamed the service so family in the UK could pay their respects.

Weddings though - just no.

😂😂😂😂

Do they expect you to dress up in your wedding guest finery for this wonderful event? Clutching your gift on camera too of course?

People are literally insane!!

I'm so intrigued about how this works!

Is it just for the ceremony? Or are all the zoom invitees carried around the venue/s and people can chat to them all day? Do people on zoom dress up and eat and drink at the same time?

It's so weird.

I've been to a zoom funeral during lockdown but I can't get the concept of a zoom wedding, beyond far flung relatives unable to attend, watching the ceremony online maybe.

People already get married online.

This is just weird. Who wants their wedding to feel like a lockdown funeral?