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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to deduct stolen money from payment?

181 replies

cocoloco117 · 24/04/2023 15:21

Name changed and tin hat on for this. We recently had someone working in our house, after which I noticed a large sum of money had gone missing. It was a pile of notes that was left under an ornament on a bookshelf in the room in which they were working. Now I don’t need any lectures on the follies of leaving large sums of money lying around the house, stupidly I forgot to move it before they came. But whilst it is a stupid thing to do, does that mean I deserve to be robbed?

No one else has been in the house in the time between when the cash was last definitely seen and when it disappeared, apart from me DH DCs and none of us took/moved it. I haven’t raised this with the company, yet, as it will be an extraordinary awkward conversation. And what would the response be? The worker’s undoubtedly going to deny it so it comes down to my word against theirs.

I was about to let it go and chalk it up to bad experience. But since the day of the work/theft, there’s been a few other issues so we haven't paid the invoice yet. In that time I have spent stewing over it, searching the place upside down and thinking about who else could have been in the house or what else could have happened. Post-stew I am now certain that the only explanation can be that it was taken by the worker. Would it be unreasonable to unilaterally deduct the amount stolen from the invoice and tell them to recover the rest from their light-fingered employee?

I’m almost set on this course of action now, but I’m after a sanity check via the unique brand of constructive criticism only available on MN. So: AIBU to proverbially cancel the cheque?

Thanks in advance but I don’t need any elaborate hypotheticals asking whether the cat/dog/baby might have eaten/buried/hidden it. They haven’t. And tell me that I’m wrong if you like but I am convinced the only reasonable explanation is that it’s been stolen.

OP posts:
BurntOutGirl · 24/04/2023 16:19

We had money go missing - £40. Thankfully l didnt accuse Tesco Delivery or our cleaner.

By shear chance l was telling a friend about it and she said are you sure DS1 didnt take it and put on his school lunch account. I had always topped it up via bank transfer so didnt even realise cash could be added

Despite protesting that he hadn't took it, school confirmed it had been added to his account.

MidlandCatGirl · 24/04/2023 16:20

An agreed invoice for contracted works and the theft of money are two separate items.

Has the company sent sub-contractors to yours to do the work? It’s not unheard of for a poorly paid and not fully vetted subby to be a little light fingered (I work alongside trade so have experience of this on more than one occasion with my own work equipment being stolen by peeved subs).

I’d speak to the boss of the company but gently, not accusatory. If one of their subs has taken the cash, they’ll be mortified.

NewPapaGuinea · 24/04/2023 16:20

You need to report it at least to get a crime number. You’ll look pretty silly if you withold payment and the company asks if you’ve reported it and you say “no”.

RosieLemonadeAndSugar · 24/04/2023 16:21

Pay the invoice in full but speak with the manager of the company and advise them on what has happened and who you think it was.

You have no proof so have no leg to stand on deducting the money, but you can advise them you think one of their staff members may be a thief.

They may have had similar reports from other jobs they have been on.

In future, double check no money or valuables have been left out when people are entering your home.

TeapotElephant · 24/04/2023 16:22

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/04/2023 15:33

How old are your DC?

My first thought was with the DC too.

readbooksdrinktea · 24/04/2023 16:23

NotQuiteHere · 24/04/2023 16:09

Wide range of responses?

Show quote history

Haha, my thought exactly. YWBVU, OP.

Crunchymum · 24/04/2023 16:24

@cocoloco117

What amounts are we talking?

You can't really underpay an invoice as you've suddenly decided the worker nicked your cash (which is how it will look to the company)

You should have reported it with them the moment you noticed it was missing. All well and good not being sure the worker took it but now the company cannot be sure that you didn't lose it / mislay it elsewhere / have it swiped by one of your kids mates.

On balance and from an outside perspective there are more ways for you to have mislaid it than for it to have been 100% stolen.

Coolblur · 24/04/2023 16:26

If I were the company owner or the employee you assume stole your cash I would be mightily pissed off if you did this, particularly as you didn't raise it at the time. It very much looks like you are trying to get out of paying in full. They could quite rightly take you to court over non payment. What's your defence? You've misplaced some cash but despite no evidence and not reporting it to the Police or the company carrying out the work at the time, and allowing the work to continue in the house (all of which suggest you're not being truthful) it was definitely the worker?

How old are you kids? Did you have literally no one else in your house during that time? You don't actually know it wasn't one of your family, or another visitor. You only know it wasn't you. In my experience sometimes the people you think you know and trust best can really surprise you, particularly if they're desperate (and they wouldn't tell you if they are).

Pay the bill, and report the theft to the Police.

Hairpinleg · 24/04/2023 16:26

The logical action would be to report it to the company and let them conduct an investigation with the worker. If no joy from that, and you are sure it was stolen, then you have to pay the invoice and report the theft to the police. But if it's under £500, I'd write it off as my own stupidity for leaving it out.

Pipsquiggle · 24/04/2023 16:27

OP you do need to raise it with the firm, although you can't prove anything, they have made similar complaints about the person working at your home.

This happened to a friend of mine, they used their regular builder who had got some new team members. They noticed some things had gone missing, reported it the builder who apologised and asked his team if they had taken the items. Turns out 1 of the new guys had. He was dimissed.

PrettyMaybug · 24/04/2023 16:29

MargaretThursday · 24/04/2023 16:12

I was going to say similar to @PrettyMaybug
When dd1 was 10yo she was in quite a big performance of Annie. We bought loads of tickets for family and friends, and stuck them to the noticeboard in an envelope.
They went missing while our extension was being built.
We had everything out from the room we had the noticeboard in and searched everywhere.
I suspected that one of several contactors that was in over that time had thought it might be notes (similar size/shape/weight) and had slipped it, or had taken them hoping they might get a return.
I contacted the theatre and they put a note on the tickets to say they couldn't be returned without phoning my mobile.

No one tried returning the tickets nor did they turn up to use them. So I forgot about it.

Around 10 years later I was sorting out a set of drawers in the garage-that had been there since we'd moved in. And there they were, sitting obviously on top of the rubbish in the middle drawer. The only thing we could think was they'd dropped off the noticeboard and been picked up with something else that had been put in that drawer and later removed.
It certainly was nothing to do with the workmen as they hadn't been in the garage.

Flowers Glad you found them. Shame it took 10 years! 😫 Got there in the end eh? Smile

BalloonSlayer · 24/04/2023 16:31

Could you say, I paid part in cash on the day, I left the money out and your employee, x, took it.

Malarandras · 24/04/2023 16:31

If you take the money you believe to have been stolen off the amount due for the work be prepared for the company to retaliate. Unless you have solid proof their employee stole your money - and it seems that you do not - they would be within their rights to take this further. So you would need to be fully prepared for that.

TeapotElephant · 24/04/2023 16:32

BalloonSlayer · 24/04/2023 16:31

Could you say, I paid part in cash on the day, I left the money out and your employee, x, took it.

This is accusing someone of theft with zero evidence. You can damage reputations and cause someone to lose their job.

Saz12 · 24/04/2023 16:33

Tell the company. You dont need to accuse anyone, just give them the facts.

If its not the first complaint theyve had, then they may well have to believe its one of their employees. If their guys have been working with the company for years and theres never been another accisation, then no doubt theyll think sonething ekse happebed to the cash.

But you absolutely cannot deduct it from the invoice.

GoodChat · 24/04/2023 16:36

Who was the last person to have definitely seen the money?

Emotionalsupportviper · 24/04/2023 16:37

OlympicProcrastinator · 24/04/2023 15:25

But you’d have to prove it or they will just accuse you of making it up to get out of paying. If you are going down that route you ought to call the police about it. If you get the police involved then it strengthens your case but you’ll also be opening yourself up for them to make a claim through small claims.

YANBU though.

This.

You should really have reported the theft immediately, if only to get a crime number for insurance purposes, and the police would have contacted the firm and the workman.

If you try to deduct anything now it will just look like a ruse to avoid paying the full bill.

Cc1998 · 24/04/2023 16:38

You didn't raise it because it would be awkward?
Sorry, this one is on you.

YouveGotToGrooveIt · 24/04/2023 16:40

Obviosuly depending on the amounts involved, you can have fun explaining your theory in the small claims court...

Butchyrestingface · 24/04/2023 16:40

I’m almost set on this course of action now, but I’m after a sanity check via the unique brand of constructive criticism only available on MN. So: AIBU to proverbially cancel the cheque?

You are absolutely off your nut, to quite an extraordinary degree.

You haven't reported this to the police, you haven't even informed the company because you don't like awkward conversations.

Based on the above, company will conclude - quite reasonably - that you are just a cheeky chancer, there was never any missing money in the first place and it was always your intention to defraud them. And then presumably take appropriate action. Enjoy the Small Courts Claim.

Ladybug14 · 24/04/2023 16:42

I've looked carefully for the wide range of responses Confused

Nope

They all say YABU

That'll be because you ARE BU

Puckthemagicdragon · 24/04/2023 16:46

You've left it too late.

Iknowthis1 · 24/04/2023 16:47

You need to contact the police to report the theft, not take matters into your own hands.

Champagneobsessed · 24/04/2023 16:48

I agree with this.

TeaKitten · 24/04/2023 16:49

I think they would think you are taking the piss and trying to pull a fast one, and so pursue you for the invoice. I think this because you’ve delayed paying the invoice due to other issues so you are already unhappy and you haven’t reported this theft to anyone and have no evidence. So when you do pay the invoice and say I’ve removed a sum because you stole it from my house, you sound like you are just making crap up to pay less money. It sounds daft and very CF. I’m not saying I think you are lying. But the fact is you can prove it was them, and you told them or the police… so you can’t just not pay the invoice fully.