If you gifted money to your grandchildren...

[HarperElla]

...say £50-£150 per birthday/Christmas and the odd other occasion like Easter or random gifts, would you mind if their mother put the money towards a holiday for them and their parent? I've been doing this, I have a 4 year old, he has too many toys, I have a really good savings pot for him already etc etc. I want to take him on holiday to Egypt before he goes to school, and put any money which is given to him by family members towards this. I've made sure that it doesn't extend past the fare for his flight. I've been told by a family member that I'm out of order doing this and that I should either put it in his savings or buy him gifts with it. I've made it clear to him that the family members who gave us the money helped us pay for it and that we should be grateful to them that they helped us go on holiday (explained in terms he can ubderstand). He has 4k in savings, 1k a year put in my me. WIBU to do this?

With apologies for the diversion, have you taken him here?

Petrie Museum | UCL CULTURE - UCL – University College London

This is actually pretty normal for a 4yo who is obsessed with something.

😂Sure it is.

how cheeky. your son should not be paying for you and him to go to bloody Sharm el sheikh. I think you need to get your morals and priorities straight.

I can testify to 4 year olds obsessive knowledge ability to be fair. It was quite an education for me. Dinosaurs here mind.

@MargaretThursday

how have you worked out that it’s OP that wants to go to Egypt?

ive not read anything in her posts where she talks about her love of the pyramids etc? That would be her son.

100% agree with this. MN place obscene labels in money to the extent where posters expect someone should withdraw from an account and pay a financial penalty just to then put the ‘gift’ money in the same account 🙄

Anyway OP’s mum who gifted the money said she would love for it to be spent on this holiday so the rest of the opinions don’t really matter!

Why do you find that hard to believe? Loads of children this age are obsessed by different things and will know all about them. My DS knew all the species of Uk birds and my Niece all the dinosaurs, they are like sponges at that age.

What are you on about? He has never been on holiday before, ever. I'm taking him to Egypt because he is fascinated by it. When he wants something in the future I will say no, because that's just how life works. If you think that me taking him on a once in a lifetime trip to Egypt is setting him up to be spoiled for the rest of his life then so be it. I don't agree.

And yes. He does know of those things. He doesn't 'speak Arabic' he knows 20 words which were taught to him by a friend of mine who speaks Arabic. What else can I say about that?

Look. I asked a question about the money. Agree or disagree if you like, but I don't appreciate being called a liar and that I'm setting my son up for failure for taking him on one holiday.

I really don't think this is an appropriate use of the money. If I was that child's grandparent, I'd definitely be non-plussed. I'd probably put all future savings in an account that the parent couldn't access. A holiday is absolutely a want for the parent, rather than anything that will really benefit the child. A child's going to have a great time on holiday pretty much wherever they go, they can still have a good experience on a much cheaper holiday, somewhere closer to home. If you want them to appreciate other cultures, you don't need to actually travel abroad. Visit museums, read books, watch documentaries etc with them. If they decide they want to see the pyramids or whatever, they can make the choice to spend the money to go and visit Egypt as an adult. The experiences they'd get on a "destination" holiday don't offer good value when you consider what else the money could be used for, imo.

I can understand using money gifts to buy weekly activities eg a drama, sports club or horse rising but a holiday - no that's a stretch too far for me.

I've been to Egypt with a 9 yr old and it was hard work for all of us - very early starts each day (pre-dawn) and lots of walking around ancient sites. And we had to really push to go to Tutankhamun's tomb ! Our guide didn't see the point! And oh the alabaster and perfume factories....interminable. Sorry de-railing but what out for them

If you're going to the Red Sea coast - save your money (time, and having vaccinations) and go to Spain. Save Egypt for when he's older.

I think in this instance it’s fine. I wouldn’t do it for just any or all holidays, but the money is for your son for something he wants and it sounds as though he would really enjoy the trip and is different to a family holiday somewhere else as Egypt is his fascination. As a one off it’s fine. Hope he enjoys the trip.

I can't believe the length you're going to take a 4 year old on a holiday he wont remember. why dont you leave his money alone, save your own, then in a few years (when he might remember a sodding thing), pay for it yourself.

You can really tell the people on here who can see no value in overseas travel! They think it’s a waste of money.

newsflash. It’s not. It broadens the mind and gives you amazing often priceless experiences.

I don't know why you asked to be honest.

You think you are right. I don't. You're getting very worked up when someone disagrees- hit a nerve?

Yes! We didn't spend long there as I only realised it existed 40 mins before closing time but will definitely go back. Thank you.

I don't think it's a waste of money, but I do think it is wrong for children to pay for their place on a family holiday

Why are people obsessed with holidays making memories. The 4 year old is Egypt obsessed. He wants to go to Egypt. There is value in experiencing and enjoying in the moment. It's not all about remembering it when you are 27

But I don't believe your child at 4 knows all you say he does about Egypt including speaking Arabic (unless it's your native language) and I am a teacher- so he must be a genius.

If you are a teacher I bloody hope you know that lots of children have the potential to know these things at age 4. Many children of this age are obsessed with something or other and will strive to know all there is to know on the subject.

I think you were right to talk to your Mum about it, but it sounds like a brilliant idea. He’ll have a great time, and you will get to see his little face when he sees those pyramids in real life.
He sounds like a lovely boy, and you are a lovely mum to think of this for him. I hope you both have an amazing time.

(Top tip for Egypt: hand sanitizer after every surface contact, to avoid upset tummies.)

Exactly.

If you can't afford to go without raiding his savings, you shouldn't be doing it.

Presumably when he's older (and maybe wanting other things with a more permanent value, like driving lessons or educational learning) you will explain that he paid for his own flight?

Hmm, I asked about money, then asked my mum about it as other suggested I may be being unreasonable, the. The stated she actually wanted me to spend the money on this, at which point my decision was made.

You on the other hand started accusing me of lying staying that my son can't possibly know 20 Arabic words, told me I'm setting my son up to fail, and started questioning that I hadn't asked anyone else for permission asking if I'm a single parent, then told me you're a teacher which is a bit worrying. Anyway, I am fairly convinced you're a troll so continue if you wish.

@VeronicaTimeTurner I know some do. I used to work for the National Gifted Children's society. I am fully aware of the range of intelligence.

If a 4 year old knew the name of every dinosaur nobody would blink at it, but knowing stuff about Egypt is somehow impossible? Nah.

OP I think this is a great idea. And he may well remember stuff. My memory is awful but my DH remembers loads from when he is 4. Because people are different. This is just like using birthday money to buy a Merlin Pass or something only bigger. And given the person who gave the money agrees it's a wonderful idea there is nothing more to say.

You don’t have to save for him so take this money 💰 instead but you do have to honour the gift givers. I think you might be deluding yourself though to think £1000 is going to be the same value in 14 years time as it is now and he can use the £18k for a house deposit?

Thank god for that. So why the amazement that OP DS knows all about Egypt?