To have read her emails?

[lumpkins]

I work with a lady who has been at the same workplace for 30 years. She knows everyone, gossips about everyone… you know the type!
I started 2 years ago and we work very closely together. She is incredibly kind to me, offering advice, cups of tea, giving me the ‘heads up’ on who is a good egg, who is not etc.
For various reasons I’ve started to suspect that my colleague is not as nice to me behind my back as she is to my face. One example of this would be her offering to do something to help me and then going to management to complain about me for asking her to help me when it isn’t her job (I am her senior)
This has happened a number of times now. She left her emails logged in so I took the chance to have a nose… not the best move I know, but I was feeling like I was going mad! So I uncovered email after email of her complaining to various people about me, all over the workplace. Most of the things she had complained about were made up.. she is making out I am a complete bitch to her but it’s completely false as we get on fine!
I wanted to take my findings (screenshots of 12 emails) to management to complain as my name has been repeatedly tarnished in her complaints, but I was wrong to look at her emails so should I just forget it and move on??

There’s also a saying about people who eavesdrop rarely hearing anything good about themselves.

i would email your manager and tell her you're concerned about this woman. Say she keeps offering you help but you've heard from a couple of people who want to remain anonymous that she is emailing them complaining of how stressed she is at the amount of work you put on her. You're concerned both for her mental health given that she's so stressed and also for your professional integrity, given that she's claiming you approach her, which is untrue. Ask if, as a first step you can cc your manager in as you decline her offers of help. Say you don't want to take the reports of nasty emails further at the moment as you don't want to bring your sources into it, but should she make an accusation against you, you'll need to do a SAR for all emails that contain your name.

The benefit of this is you're getting in first with your manager, giving them a very simple solution that they don't need to do anything about, but also giving them a heads up that you're taking steps to defend yourself against false accusations.

Then anytime she offers help say "thank you so much for the offer, I'm okay at the moment l, but I'll let you know if I need more help later" and each time email an hour or two later and politely decline her help. The cc-ing in of the manager will put the wind up her that you're on to her, and hopefully she'll start to behave better.

Wow, what a piece of it your colleague is!

Forewarned is forearmed, OP. Next time she offered to help. Email her to thank her being clear what sge offered to help with and then forward a copy to HR saying, .... has offered to help me I'd like it added to her file for her annual performance review. If she then complains, HR know and can raise with her /her manager.

How has she got away with thus for so long. Yiu will nut be the first victim if this sociopath.

OP I am a bit confused as to how you managed to access her emails. If she wasn’t in the office and had forgotten to log off before leaving the previous night, wouldn’t her computer have locked and gone into sleep mode by the time you came in in the morning?

The more I read this OP, why are you letting her do your work, and when she does, do you give her credit for it? Maybe this is why she doesn't like you and maybe she is getting genuinely stressed. Is it that she's a people pleaser and might ask, but not really mean it, or initially want to help but then it's getting overwhelmed with her own workload. I'm just trying to see why she might do this as it's odd, and she must be unhinged if it's how you are describing it. I do find it quite shocking that you would go into someone's emails so that makes me wonder if there's more to it. Either way, both behaviours seem very toxic

you have done wrong by reading her emails.

OP was it her work emails or her personal emails you looked at? Personal emails are a no go but if it was work emails and you are her direct supervisor then you may have grounds for looking and are unlikely to be fired.

either way stop accepting her help and do your own job and she’ll have less to complain about

so she is going to management saying you ask for her help?
have they come to you?
obviously dont accept any offers
put in email

If a work email account, the content belongs to the company and your troublesome colleague has no right to expectations of privacy.

If your company routinely handles GDPR regulated info then she would be discliplined for leaving her account logged in. Incredibly sloppy.

I would ask for a off record convo with HR. Explain that you have learned from third parties that she is spreading lies about you and you are concerned that it might affect productivity. Don't say you looked at her emails - say you were shown some emails she had sent by the recipients. Explain that you don't want to raise a formal complaint but you do want your convo noted by HR.

In this way, if she ever tries anything formal against you, HR will have your conversation on file and know that she has form.

In the meantime, don't ask her for anything unless you have to and record and minute everything on email if possible.

They're not private emails. If it's a company email address on a company PC then she had no rights.

100% this

They're not private

she is complaining about you
but you havent said if you are in trouble due her complaints?
have you put her under unnecessary pressure?

Many churches provide cry room spaces within the church out of recognition that babies and young children are often noisy and provide distractions during the service.

If the minister and church members recognize and acknowledge that this type of behavior provides a distraction during Services , why would a bride be at fault for not wanting to risk this type of distraction during her wedding ?

Few people would think it appropriate to take a newborn to a movie theater where patrons have paid a small amount of money but seemingly would think nothing of taking that same newborn to a wedding where the bride and groom often have paid many 1000s for the wedding.

Your newborn is extremely special to you, but he or she is not so special that a bride should be willing to tolerate the risk of them crying during their wedding ceremony. These events are often video recorded and disruptive .noises are captured on the recording. That is not the experience that the couple has paid so much money to have and capture. The infant's presence adds nothing to the event for neither the infant nor the couple being married. There is no justification other than selfishness and a sense of entitlement for a parent to think that they have a right to impose the potential for this type of disruption on someone else's wedding ceremony.

😱Reading your colleague's email is not on.

But she sounds deranged. Does anyone else know you read her email?

I hope not.

What will be your next move op?

It will be in the contract, so perfectly reasonable

I didn’t want to be the first to say this so thank you. The idea of a manager looking at the emails of someone less senior without permission is diabolical. Those saying it’s ok how would you feel? For me the looking at the emails is a red flag indicating OPs unprofessional behaviour and makes me wonder if colleague has a legitimate reason for complaining about her.

When you use a business provided account you should have zero expectations of privacy, the company owns that data and the account. You agree to the disclaimer the moment you log in - the company has this in place to ensure they are operating legally. Same goes for your files, internet history etc btw. It all belongs to the company, not you.

Looking at others emails is not good practice though.

This woman has been there 30 years, long enough to be the village gossip for the office. I expect you are not the first she has done this to. She will be convinced she will get away with anything as she has been there for so long.

Just ignore it (& her) and unless it becomes an issue with management or performance ignore it. But cover your back so if the need arises you can cover yourself.

I would find it really difficult to work in an atmosphere like this. There is no trust now that you have proved to yourself that negative commentary is going on behind your back.

As others have suggested, distance yourself from this colleague. Be civil and polite. Decline her offers to 'help' and try to avoid her as much as possible. Meanwhile look for another job where you know your reputation is safe.

And I assume she did not report it to HR, office security and raise a police incident?

Because if she hasn’t this ‘theft’ did not happen, which tells everyone what they need to know.

There's little point in a SAR It's very unlikely your employer will release information to you that would result in them being at legal risk. Yes, there is legislation but there are so many reasons companies can withhold info that you're unlikely to be given the emails you've already read.

As you're her senior, other colleagues know and nothing has ever been done I'd conclude yours is a company that not only sits on things but doesn't look to resolve a problem employee.

Time to move on before she comes up with something that they will take action on (like company into disrepute).

I think there must be more to this story. OP wrote that she's senior to this woman, but also:

Our manager thought I was being ridiculous and even said “why would she do that?” As if I was making it up.

She mentions approaching management or her manager a few other times, and the concerns being dismissed. Never once says anyone has spoken with her about any of these complaints nor that there have been any repercussions.

I think it's likely that everyone ignores this lady's antics. She's been there 30 years, she didn't just start this with the OP. Maybe she's highly productive so they overlook her bad behavior, or maybe she has top cover.

But I suspect the manager is tired of OP bringing this up repeatedly. Maybe the manager doesn't have the ability to do anything about it. But OP is certainly adding to the problems.

This is not right at all.

Even as a manager I do not have a right to read the email of my staff. It requires the highest level HR and IT approval to do so, and they involved Legal.

OP was not acting as a manager here. (and the behavior is not professional at all.)

I think many companies would dismiss someone for doing this.

Just r euse any help verbally, then in writing. Job done. And as someone whose dated a fair few IT guys, when they're bored with server stuff , they hack employee emails & pop up messenger. I've had an IT ex tell me my friend was having a work affair I didn't know about. And another friend was told by their IT guy in passing, that her co-workers were gossiping about her personal life.

This is good advice.