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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be embarrassed no one said hello?

147 replies

marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:02

Moved into a new home and residents have a private Facebook group which I joined. I posted on there that I just moved in with my family and nice to meet everyone. Not one person responded! It’s viewed by over 50 people but not one “welcome to the neighbourhood”. I didn’t think much of it but since my post there’s been at least 5 other posts where there’s been tons of responses such as people posting pictures of the sky, their garden, foxes coming into the development etc. etc. and been tons of replies! Am I BU to be slightly upset? It’s been 5 weeks since I posted.

it’s a privated gated community. I was looking so forward to moving in as I was sold with EA and previous owners saying it’s very sociable and there’s get-togethers every week.

OP posts:
VincentVaguer · 23/04/2023 09:03

Another one.

moonspiral · 23/04/2023 09:03

That's rude of them. But I don't think you should have bought it due to the previous owners having get together- you aren't buying their life just their house. Maybe you could host a get together?

Roughashouses · 23/04/2023 09:04

Have there been weekly get together a during those 5 weeks?

Willmafrockfit · 23/04/2023 09:05

i would delete my post.
it is not important.
meet people face to face

JMSA · 23/04/2023 09:07

I can't imagine just ignoring your message. Rude.

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:07

No I don’t really care about get togethers if I’m honest as I have a young family so I’m meeting lots through school and nurseries. It’s the fact not one person responded saying “welcome”. I find it quite rude.

OP posts:
moonspiral · 23/04/2023 09:07

Willmafrockfit · 23/04/2023 09:05

i would delete my post.
it is not important.
meet people face to face

Nah don't delete it just leave it there

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:08

I wrote about get togethers to show I was under illusion it’s very social do I thought introducing myself was a good idea but now feel a bit shitty my hello was ignored.

OP posts:
moonspiral · 23/04/2023 09:10

marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:08

I wrote about get togethers to show I was under illusion it’s very social do I thought introducing myself was a good idea but now feel a bit shitty my hello was ignored.

Ah don't worry about it just say hello when you see them in person. I'm assuming you have a nice picture of yourself as the icon thingy not something weird/scary?

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:10

lol! Yeah it’s a pic of my family so all 5 of us at a wedding party.

OP posts:
Fuerza · 23/04/2023 09:12

I wouldn't delete the post. Let it sit there as a record of how unwelcoming they were to you.

iamjustwinginglife · 23/04/2023 09:12

Is it possible that by mentioning get together to in your post, that they think you're being presumptuous and inviting yourself along?

StormInaDcup99 · 23/04/2023 09:12

Honestly OP don't worry about..........I'm terrible for reading stuff quickly when I'm busy and not responding.....thinking I'll comment later.

Then other people have posted who perhaps didn't see your original post and it got 'lost'

Forget about it, move on and pretend you never posted it. Dont feel bad...it is just life and unfortunate timing when you've maybe felt a little bit vulnerable after the stress of a big move. It will all be fine x

Anxietyrules247 · 23/04/2023 09:12

Sadly living close to someone doesn't always make them good friends.

It's up to them to welcome you into their community, which they would do if they were friendly people.
If not, don't let it get you down. Just carry on with your life and leave them to theirs.
It says more about them than it does about you.

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:13

Is it possible that by mentioning get together to in your post, that they think you're being presumptuous and inviting yourself along?

but I’ve not mentioned get togethers to them. I simply just posted hello, and introduced myself and family.

OP posts:
Eyelashesoffire · 23/04/2023 09:15

Maybe it's FB algorithms that didn't bring it up in their feed? Not everyone will go on and actually check posts in the group.

Eyelashesoffire · 23/04/2023 09:16

Sorry just reread and you said it's been viewed. Oh well, maybe they'll be friendlier in person.

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:17

Maybe it's FB algorithms that didn't bring it up in their feed? Not everyone will go on and actually check posts in the group.

on each message even others have posted it says “seen by” and then shows you whose clicked on the message. They’ve definitely seen it.

OP posts:
Conkersinautumn · 23/04/2023 09:17

It'll be the algorithm favouring photos

Willmafrockfit · 23/04/2023 09:17

why dont you invite them in person to your house/garden?

carriedout · 23/04/2023 09:18

I personally think it is a strange thing to post a photo of your whole family to a new group/channel full of people you don't know.

Meet a few people gradually and take it from there.

The EA would have said what they thought you wanted to hear. I hope it improves anyway.

7Worfs · 23/04/2023 09:18

You should introduce yourselves face to face really.

We moved houses right before Easter, so went around nearby houses with chocolate eggs. It’s really paid off in becoming part of the community quickly.

EmmaEmerald · 23/04/2023 09:18

What happens when you see them around?

Dithyramb · 23/04/2023 09:19

Well, maybe introducing yourself isn’t a thing on this group — how big is the ‘gated development’ and how many members does the FB group have? People join Mn and do cheery posts introducing themselves, to which the response is generally ‘No need to introduce yourself’.

Also, many people are cautious about befriending neighbours until they figure out what they are like — the potential for fallings-out are legion, if they’re in close proximity. Maybe the last owners were awful and everyone’s keeping their distance.

Finally, assuming you’re not actually living in a war zone, people who choose to live behind gates aren’t generally characterised by their ‘hail fellow well met’ attitude.

OhFFSthisAgain · 23/04/2023 09:20

It is rude, and I would think it wasn't very welcoming, especially with you living gated. They either haven't seen it purposefully or accidentally. What ever the case may be they're only neighbours, and not your family/friends. I always think it's best to not be too close knit with them, as it can cause fallings out! I find the ones in each others pockets where I live don't seem to have much of a life outside.
I do think a "welcom how are you settling in" in person when they see you out and about/card is polite though.

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