To be embarrassed no one said hello?

[marriage23]

Moved into a new home and residents have a private Facebook group which I joined. I posted on there that I just moved in with my family and nice to meet everyone. Not one person responded! It’s viewed by over 50 people but not one “welcome to the neighbourhood”. I didn’t think much of it but since my post there’s been at least 5 other posts where there’s been tons of responses such as people posting pictures of the sky, their garden, foxes coming into the development etc. etc. and been tons of replies! Am I BU to be slightly upset? It’s been 5 weeks since I posted.

it’s a privated gated community. I was looking so forward to moving in as I was sold with EA and previous owners saying it’s very sociable and there’s get-togethers every week.

my old street had a WhatsApp group and as soon as new person was added all 70+ houses would say welcome and all that stuff you would expect. i don't know if it being a FB group makes a difference but it doesn't seem as personal or immediate. if you ever get speaking to the neighbourhood folk then suggest a WhatsApp group as well- just more accessible and really helpful for quick communication about the dodgy person checking out houses or the power cut or whatever. i don't know, just seems WhatsApp is more suited for this kind of thing?

Have you checked your settings? Mine was on show for only me for ages before I realised! Otherwise yes very rude, I find it hard to imagine not a single person would be kind, hope it's your settings. Xx

It is extremely rude and I’d feel the exact same as you.

Perfectly normal thing you did to introduce yourself. Very strange of no one to respond. Sorry to hear that.

We have a street WhatsApp group and if anyone adds anyone new everyone says ‘welcome’. It’s just basic courtesy.

Hope people are friendlier in person.

They may not have seen it or understood you have moved into their road.

I would walk around occasionally and say hello to people face to face, be jolly and if they say of was it you who posted about moving in, shrug something off like “oh yes, I did, it’s so lovely here I’m so pleased”.
It can take time to make good friends in a new area. Good luck.

I thought the same thing, I reckon no one's actually seen the post.

You shouldn't be embarrassed, THEY should be! How rude! I am struggling to understand it and don't have an answer, it's totally baffling and I can't believe no one would say hello and welcome so I can only assume they - somehow, and in spite of the seen by info - didn't see it.

Just go old-school and host a house warming party and invite them all. A Facebook post seems a bit lame sorry. I couldn't be arsed to reply to that.

People are just weird. They'll probably be fine in person but honestly the mindset of a group of full grown adults when a new person joins the herd can be bizarre.

When new people come to our street, they join the whatsapp group and introduce themselves. Hardly anyone replies, strangely, just about three or four people, but I think the moment they start giving stuff away, asking questions, requesting trades contacts etc... people do respond.

I live in a sociable block of flats with a FB group. Usually when someone moves in and says hi some people will respond but maybe 5 max out of 100 group members. I wouldn't take it personally if I were you as sometimes people just see posts when they are rushing about. There are some I haven't responded to before but I am definitely friendly and welcoming when I see someone face to face.

Every time I read stories like this, it reminds me how bad FB can be, and leaves me grateful that I never signed on.

Seems to me you're asking the wrong question. What difference does it make if you're unreasonable or not? The question should be: What should be my next step? Clearly, your next step should be to go to the next get-together.

Probably just like off social media really, would they be any different in person? People are self absorbed.

When I moved into my home, no neighbours welcomed me or knocked to say hello. I've always been told the etiquette is for the established neighbours to welcome the newcomer.

Anyhow, now that next door are moving I will be introducing myself to the new neighbours when they move in.

Welcome to the neighbourhood

Could be that if you've put "Nice to meet everyone" everyone who viewed the message interpreted that as "it was nice to meet everyone"....? So each person somehow thinks there's been a situation where you've met everyone else apart from them? So they're keeping quiet because they feel like a minority? 🤷🏻‍♀️

I'm clutching at straws for you OP, but they could just be a cliquey lot!

They have known each other for some time and have established a fairly tight social group, you have been there a very short period of time, and posted on facebook all the comments to flood in. I don't think that's a realistic expectation.
Just because you now live there it doesn't mean you'll automatically be accepted into their social group, to have any shot at this happening it will take time and effort (probably more effort from you as the group is already established).

Personally, people would get more from me if they reacted to me in person,, very little/nothing from me online, unless I already knew them, especially if they lived that close by. I would expect more effort to engage than a facebook comment.

But then I'm not really hot on social media, texting etc, I prefer real interaction.

*Expecting the comments to flood in

Gosh where have you picked Beverley Hills

This x 100.

Some people are misanthropes introverts and may view your post as egotistical attention-seeking because it shows that you expect a certain type of response. Why assume that strangers care that you exist? Sadly, most don’t.

Some people prefer to meet people organically and not have others forced upon them. You could argue that your post doesn’t “force” anyone to engage with you, but your response reveals a very strong expectation that they should, which is probably the coercively egotistical aspect that many people will object to.

I wouldn’t take it personally. You are a stranger to them. No one probably wanted to be the first to post or they just scrolled over you because at the moment you are just unimportant because they don’t know you. Leave it.

Don’t let this put you off being friendly in person. I never ever comment on things like that although I am members of them purely to see what’s happening. I would be pleased to meet you in person though.

If you are meeting people at school etc then you clearing aren’t weird or unlikeable so don’t let this worry you. Let friendships grow slowly and organically. There is nothing more off putting than someone being too keen.

I think you should vandalise their homes and gardens, OP. It’s the only way forward after being ignored on FB. That’ll teach them.

Is it down South ☺️

You may be right that officially it should be the established people welcoming the newbies, but either side may be shy or super-busy, so it's counter-productive to stand on ceremony.