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Original poster

To be embarrassed no one said hello?

147 replies

marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:02

Moved into a new home and residents have a private Facebook group which I joined. I posted on there that I just moved in with my family and nice to meet everyone. Not one person responded! It’s viewed by over 50 people but not one “welcome to the neighbourhood”. I didn’t think much of it but since my post there’s been at least 5 other posts where there’s been tons of responses such as people posting pictures of the sky, their garden, foxes coming into the development etc. etc. and been tons of replies! Am I BU to be slightly upset? It’s been 5 weeks since I posted.

it’s a privated gated community. I was looking so forward to moving in as I was sold with EA and previous owners saying it’s very sociable and there’s get-togethers every week.

OP posts:
AngelinaFibres · 23/04/2023 09:21

Perhaps your seller and the EA lied about it being friendly in order to sell the place to you. Community get togethers are my idea of hell. Perhaps they want to suss you out slowly . Are there other children in this gated community or is everyone beyond that stage now.Let things grow naturally . Perhaps your Facebook post has hints of over keenness " let's have a Coronation party" vibes.

HeidiIou · 23/04/2023 09:23

It's strange and rude. It costs nothing to reply and say hello and welcome

OhFFSthisAgain · 23/04/2023 09:23

I'm always really weary of people who are too forward, and "too nice." If a new neighbour knocked on me with a chocolate egg, I would think hmm what is it they want, it would seem abit OTT to me, I'd be worried they'd be the type to knock over everything later. l'm obviously too cynical!

EmmaEmerald · 23/04/2023 09:24

I presume whoever runs the group had to give permission to join? So that's a sign of friendliness.

I have lived in many different places and always knew my neighbours well. However, with the newest place I decided not to, for a range of reasons. They might want to see what you're like in person first.

AllIeveknewonlyou · 23/04/2023 09:25

Poor thing.

Socialising will happen naturally.

Spidey66 · 23/04/2023 09:26

Have you responded to other posts? Or started other threads?

Maybe start other threads asking for recommendations etc, eg children's clubs whatever, just to get your name known.

Dibbydoos · 23/04/2023 09:26

Did they react? Thumbs up etc?

My close has a WhatsApp group. We we Re nt aware then an incident led to a neighbour telling us to join. So we did. There's a def clique but that's fine as everyone does talk, sone pisrs get more traffic. We had a new neighbour recently, they were immediately added and lots of people said hello, though the majority just reacted to the welcome post.

I personally think its rude not to say hello, but what's app posts more quickly so whilst it might show people have seen it, you can see a previous post by viewing the next or newest post too.

I'd forget about it and just start living your life. Say hello to neighbours if you see them, respond to WhatsApp posts and get to know them

Good luck settling in.

Isthisreasonable · 23/04/2023 09:27

How did you behave during the buying process? Can imagine if you dropped the offer at the last minute or messed the sellers around you will have been discussed at their get togethers which might explain the cold shoulder.

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:29

@carriedout I personally think it is a strange thing to post a photo of your whole family to a new group/channel full of people you don't know.

who posted a picture of their whole family? Certainly wasn’t me! If you had read properly someone asked if my PROFIIE picture was something weird and I explained no my profile pic is of my family.

OP posts:
Anxietyrules247 · 23/04/2023 09:29

carriedout · 23/04/2023 09:18

I personally think it is a strange thing to post a photo of your whole family to a new group/channel full of people you don't know.

Meet a few people gradually and take it from there.

The EA would have said what they thought you wanted to hear. I hope it improves anyway.

See I think it's stranger that no-one responded.

I'd say it's a nice thing that the OP did that (posted a picture). I wouldn't see anything strange in it at all.

Anxietyrules247 · 23/04/2023 09:31

Also should add that it's something all newcomers do on our local facebook page - post a picture of their family to introduce themselves.
They always get lots of lovely comments in response, welcoming them.
You did the right thing OP.
It's them who are strange/ rude.

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:31

I didn’t post a picture of my family guys! I just simply said hello and introduced myself. The picture was in response of someone asking what’s on my profile pic of Facebook 😂

OP posts:
Prettybutdumb · 23/04/2023 09:32

It’s quite shitty of them to not say anything at all.

Not entirely identical, but we moved to a new place some years ago and our next door neighbour invited us and another family to a BBQ. They said about the other family: ‘they’re foreigners like you, you’ll get along’.

The ‘foreigners’ were chatty and we had kids of similar ages, so the wife suggested we exchange numbers and we organise meet ups. I texted her the next day, a brief and cheerful ‘lovely to meet you and your family’ type of thing. She read but completely ignored my message. I felt so, so awful. She was the one who insisted we exchange numbers and meet up, why would a person do that?

Original poster
marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:33

How did you behave during the buying process?

no didn’t mess them around. Gave asking price. We were desperate to move and they were desperate to move so it was mutual

OP posts:
Heronwatcher · 23/04/2023 09:33

I don’t tend to respond online to this sort of thing, but I would mentally note it and say hello when I saw you in person. Don’t take it personally, just give it time and see how things go.

Anxietyrules247 · 23/04/2023 09:34

marriage23 · 23/04/2023 09:31

I didn’t post a picture of my family guys! I just simply said hello and introduced myself. The picture was in response of someone asking what’s on my profile pic of Facebook 😂

Well, it would have been fine if you had posted a picture, as that's what all newcomers do on our village facebook page.
They always get a lovely response from people welcoming them.

Fatkittythinkitty · 23/04/2023 09:34

That would make me feel a bit flat too.

but as this thread is illustrating, people's comprehension skills aren't great. Perhaps they've just skimmed over it without really taking it in. In hindsight a question for people to answer as someone has suggested would have been good alongside the intro.

Fingers crossed they're friendlier in person.

AngelinaFibres · 23/04/2023 09:36

We have a village Facebook. A new man has just moved in and joined. At first he seemed keen and pleasant and people responded politely to him. He had dreams of creating an eco garden and posted a lot. He wanted to be part of the community transport volunteers but has health issues so couldn't be accepted as a driver. He wanted to set up a 'men's shed' group and was offered a small space for free to start it. He started to come across as a bit manic and posted more aggressive things about the community not supporting him, the parish council blocking his ideas with red tape. Then he started with ' no wonder there is nothing here. You are all lazy, you do nothing'. It's a lovely village with lots going on. Lots of people are newcomers and settle in happily.They join established things as members and let things grow slowly. They don't try to be chairman of everything a week after moving in. Your neighbours may be wary that ,if they welcome you effusively,you will turn out to be a PITA and they can't go backwards.

Wishona · 23/04/2023 09:36

I’d just keep chipping away. Comment on things in the group that others post.
It absolutely is unfriendly, but you live there now, so I’d just carry on 🙂

SunnieShine · 23/04/2023 09:36

That's not nice but don't let it spoil your enjoyment of your new home.
I agree with Spideyy67. Comment on other people's posts, ask for advice (people love giving advice), start ypur own thread.
You'll soon feel included.

EmmaEmerald · 23/04/2023 09:39

Pretty "They said about the other family: ‘they’re foreigners like you, you’ll get along’. "

That in itself would piss me off. What a weird thing to say.

LadyEloise1 · 23/04/2023 09:41

HeidiIou · 23/04/2023 09:23

It's strange and rude. It costs nothing to reply and say hello and welcome

I agree.

mumofgirls87 · 23/04/2023 09:43

Rude. If that was me I'd post a comment underneath saying BUMP (bring up my post) then if Still nothing, just leave the group.

Zanatdy · 23/04/2023 09:43

Yeah really rude and very unwelcoming

MolkosTeenageAngst · 23/04/2023 09:45

The thing with group posts is it’s sort of everyone’s role to reply in order to be polite and no one’s at the same time. You wouldn’t expect all 50 people to reply, lots probably didn’t see it or saw it days or weeks later and thought it too late to reply. Generally with Facebook posts comments generate more comments, if one person replies it sets off a chain reaction where others see it and reply. If nobody replies then the post probably doesn’t really get seen as it’s quickly buried. Don’t compare your post with others. Posts with a photo attached are generally more visible, if yours was just a text message maybe that’s why it was missed. Sometimes it can even be things like the day of the week or time of day that effect who sees your message first and therefore whether you get much response.

There are probably nice people in the neighbourhood who would have replied but didn’t see your message or didn’t see it until a few days after you’d posted and thought it was too late, don’t write everybody off.

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