Page 8 | To be in tears over my nose?

TheLostNights · 2023-04-22T17:21:48+00:00

I never let anyone take photos of me as I am a very ugly woman. But the thing that bothers me most is my nose. It is very long and pointy. DH took a photo of one of the kids the other day and my side profile is in it and my nose just looked horrific. Perhaps foolishly, I googled ways to minimise it naturally like with make up etc but came across an article about a man with the world's longest nose. His was 8CM. Or just over. Measured mine just now from top to the bottom and it's just over 7CM. Which now makes me feel even worse. DH started shouting at me saying it's getting like an obsession but I just hate how freak like it makes me look. Everyone else looks beautiful or at least normal. I hate the fact that unless I have a nose job (which I can't afford ) then I am stuck looking like this.

elmooie · 22/04/2023 20:48

Some of the most attractive people I know are the least photogenic. Just throwing that out there, don’t base your self worth on one random unflattering side shot.

Snellytheelephant · 22/04/2023 20:50

It’s so sad to see you so upset by your perception of your appearance. Please try some form of therapy. Nobody else is going to look at you and think things as cruel as you are telling yourself so please don’t let the way you perceive your appearance weigh you down so heavily. What does your husband or friends or family think about your nose? They’ve probably never thought twice about it. What advice would you give your best friend, sister, daughter, mum, stranger in the toilets on a night out about a similar situation? Hoping you find help and happiness.

SnuggleBuggleBoo · 22/04/2023 20:51

TheLostNights · 22/04/2023 18:40

When I measure the full length it's 6CM and a half. If I measure all the way down to the base so just under my lip, it's over 7-8 CM. Obviously it needs to be sorted. I feel disgusting .

So if your children grow up to have your nose, will you be telling them that 'obviously their noses need to be sorted' and pushing them towards rhinoplasty?

DisenchantedOwl · 22/04/2023 20:54

You sound like me OP. I have Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Obsessively researching "fixes" is one of the "unhelpful" obsessive behaviours associated with it. Have a look at this website....https://bddfoundation.org/

Awful condition, and very hard to manage and deal with. The feelings of shame, and disgust, and anxiety can be overwhelming.

I hope you find your answers OP but they are unlikely to be in plastic surgery.

BDDF – Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation

https://bddfoundation.org

DeflatedAgain · 22/04/2023 20:57

If it really bothers you OP speak with MYA.

My friend got her nose done with them and they done a fantastic job. She paid finance for it and they were so helpful.

I'm considering getting my boobs done after breastfeeding... Been on my mind for years!

SpuytenDuyvil · 22/04/2023 21:02

I know a LOT of people who have had nose jobs. One and all are happier than they were before. I wish it weren't true, but it is. Mostly women, but at least one man I can think of and they are all very pleased with the changes.

OldFan · 22/04/2023 21:02

I get what you mean as mine is crooked and the nostrils wide.

I will get a nose job one day when I can.

Had a special occassion recently and my face looked a fright in various ways in most pics. My figure is ok, which makes me feel a bit better.

But seriously @TheLostNights , if I feel ugly I try and think of the millions of people in the world who are far uglier than me- it does put things in perspective. You could have an actual disfigurement or something.

And really, we shouldn't be bothered about these things. We're on this earth to serve God and shouldn't care about such vanities. We were created just the way we're supposed to be and are made in His image. I know that's easy to say though.

OldFan · 22/04/2023 21:03

I know a LOT of people who have had nose jobs. One and all are happier than they were before

I know of people who've had two or more nose jobs and never been happy with the result.

Bk1000 · 22/04/2023 21:06

Have no idea what the standard nose measuring procedure is but when I try to do it the way you have described mine is 8 cm too. I’ve always known I had a big nose but not record breakingly massive. I suspect the official nose measurement procedure is different.

Gingernaut · 22/04/2023 21:06

You're obsessing over a single body part which functions well and is perfectly healthy.

The danger is body dysmorphia

Even if you do have surgery, you will probably not be happy with the results, start obsessing over it again and 'need' further surgery.

You need to see a therapist - try and get a referral from your GP

LemonSwan · 22/04/2023 21:07

I was thinking holy fuck that sounds bad. So googled the longest nose. And actually it’s surprising! Mehmets nose doesn’t look bad to me. If he passed me in the street I would never have thought that’s the biggest nose. It suits his face. He looks charming, kind and warm. I bet you are the same OP. Yes sure your not going to win a prize for most petite, or most button nose. But bet your nose is absolutely fine.

blondiiiee · 22/04/2023 21:10

If your nose is big, (it doesn't sound it) but even if it was. I'm pretty sure it suits your face. My sister in law is the most beautiful woman I've seen. She does have a huge nose. But you know what. It just fits her face. She has a full face. It doesn't even look big but when u study individual features it is very big!

My husbands nose is the same but it fits his face!

Surgery I've seen imo never actually makes the person look better!

It's your nose. Until you learn to embrace yourself, no matter what you change, you will never be happy x

Wiccan · 22/04/2023 21:10

Firstly I don't think we should be encouraging people to go under the knife !
I was a gymnast in the 80s . Broken jaw in 2 places same side . NHS patched me back up was told your jaw will actually misplace as you get older.my jaw was 2 CMS lower on one side. 10 years later while out in pub with husband woman asked to give me her seat as she stated I'm obviously a stroke victim when I voiced to her I'm fine ,no stroke it's an athletic injury .she said "then why the fuck would you want to go around looking like that?" Didn't go out for 3 months after that !

moonspiral · 22/04/2023 21:14

Wellfedandfedup · 22/04/2023 20:29

Right so you're offended because you don't have a husband and others are offended because they do have one.
Ffs others trying to give a woman in distress a quick confidence boost does not mean they're shitting on you.

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I do have a husband

moonspiral · 22/04/2023 21:15

monsteramunch · 22/04/2023 20:30

Yeah this is a very important distinction and is what people have taken issue with when it comes to what you said @NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs

Can you see the difference?

Saying 'genuinely ugly women never get married' simply isn't true and it's offensive and hurtful to people who are single and feel they are genuinely ugly. It will also make them feel shit and hopeless.

Nobody has denied your personal experience, they've said it's not a universal one for everyone who could be considered 'ugly'.

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Very key difference isn't it

bobby81 · 22/04/2023 21:17

Banjaxx · 22/04/2023 18:50

Please read this @TheLostNights you might find it comforting and empowering
https://www.stylist.co.uk/beauty/celebrities-women-with-big-nose/215365

I love this, thanks for sharing.

Purplefoxes · 22/04/2023 21:18

Rinkydinkydoodle · 22/04/2023 19:15

Hello! I have just measured. 7.5cm long. I sort of knew, my brother used to call me Concordia. He is impressively lacking in self awareness, his nose puts mine in the shade (it literally could, though mine could
also be a sundial)

My dad’s is 8cm, he could be a world record holder tbh, he used to get into fights about it (think Cyrano de Bergerac but just punching people in beer gardens instead of poetry under balconies).

I sometimes get a bit dismayed when I’m caught in profile in photos simply because I look like if I turn too fast I could easily stab someone in the eye. I can turn lights off with it, and turn the pages of a book. It was great when I was bfing.

I don’t know whether it’s despite or because of the Nose, but I’ve also met lots of people throughout my life who’ve told me I’m striking, distinguished, elegant, all that crap. Someone once told me it makes me look clever. But honestly, it’s not beautiful, you want to see this fucking undeniably huge nose of mine. I comfort myself it’s now all that’s holding my face up, like those triangular supports they put up on the facades of listed buildings while they work behind them 😂

I have always wished I had a more standard facial construction, so I can understand how you feel. It’s all jokes, but what you’re describing isn’t helping you right now. You don’t need fixing, I absolutely promise you, and I know without seeing you that your nose is not making you look disgusting or anything of the sort. Noses don’t make people ugly, they’re just one part of your shell, the luck of the cosmic draw - in fact, I’ve just realised I am drawn to people with strong noses.

But how you feel is important, of course it is. Has this sort of urgent need to have it fixed come on suddenly? Has anything else been changing about your appearance or in your life more generally?

@Rinkydinkydoodle you may have a big nose but you have an excellent sense of humour! 😂 I hope the OP can make peace with her nose. It's not healthy to obsess over any part of your body. I have a lopsided jaw and crooked teeth which would require surgery to fix but damn it I smile anyway. When you are a lovely person on the inside and think good thoughts it really does radiate out from you! Love yourself and people will love you. It's taken me almost until my forties to truly understand this. You see those celebrities having cosmetic surgery and one thing is never enough, they keep going back and having more done in pursuit of some kind of perfection. Until they look like an AI creepy version of themselves. It is all an illusion! I'm sure some good make up lessons on shading would help OP find it more acceptable. And learning about flattering photo poses! And telling the husband to get some photography lessons!!

Satsumastocking · 22/04/2023 21:22

I haven't read all the comments, but just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear your husband shouted at you. Even if he is frustrated because he finds you attractive and has run out of things to say when you're upset about your looks, he ought to find better ways to respond.

I just measured my nose and it's about the same. I would like a slightly smaller one, but it hadn't occurred to me it was unusually large and I'm ok looking.

I agree with previous posts pointing out that photographs aren't accurate representations of how we look in motion. They freeze our faces mid-movement, which exaggerates features. In reality, people see us in proportion and in motion.

MMMarmite · 22/04/2023 21:22

Safety announcement after personal research:

Do not use a retracting metal DIY tape-measure for nose measuring, unless you want a scratched face 😂

Tiredmum12389 · 22/04/2023 21:22

Everyone has parts of their faces and bodies they dislike or would rather have look different. I'm sure your beautiful and honestly I meet so many people and never come away thinking about how they look, it's always about the way they treat others, their kindness and humour. Be kind to yourself, I bet your friends and husband don't think twice about your features. Xx

ilovesushi · 22/04/2023 21:23

Nothing wrong with a big nose. I bet you are beautiful inside and out and much loved by family and friends.

blueshoes · 22/04/2023 21:23

I agree with this.

If OP's nose is the only thing that bothers her and has been for a long time, then a rhinoplasty is a good solution if she has the funds for it.

It won't lead to a slippery slope of ever increasing cosmetic nor is it body dysmorphia to want to fix a specific part of your body. The surgery will allow OP to feel good in herself and allow her to lead the rest of her life without this one hangup whenever she looks in the mirror or sees herself in a reflection or a photo. The peace of mind is worth it.

icecreamisforwintertoo · 22/04/2023 21:23

Hi OP, I have a big nose (inherited from
my grandpa) and used to get teased about it when i was younger, called “Concorde nose”
etc and people saying things like “you could be really pretty/a model if it wasn’t for your nose”. I used to be obsessed with examining my side profile in a mirror and I was so sure that I would have a nose job when I was old enough.

however I can’t remember the last time I have it any thought, I do think I’ve grown into it a bit but it just seems less important now, my husband and kids haven’t mentioned it (and my kids notice every other physical defect like mummy’s squishy tummy!!)
I think imperfections make people more attractive, and now I feel my nose is something that makes me look a bit more quirky and memorable and less bland. People who love you absolutely won’t care or even notice about having a big nose, sticky out ears, wonky teeth or whatever it is, and i can assure you it will loom much larger in your head than anyone else’s. I don’t know how you can flip the switch to do this though, for me it just happened over time.

blueshoes · 22/04/2023 21:24

OlympicProcrastinator · 22/04/2023 20:03

I'm so sorry you feel this way about yourself, and that you've had some really unhelpful messages on here suggesting surgery. That's not the answer!

Except….it might be. It certainly was for me. I had the exact same problem. Cried at photos, had a huge complex. Had people tell me that surgery wasn’t the answer and I should learn to love myself as I am etc etc.

Well bugger that. I had it done 6 years ago and I wish I’d done it years ago. Complete game changer and I feel so much better for doing it.

It might not be the answer for everyone but let’s not pretend it isn’t a good option for many.

I meant to quote OlympicProcrastinator.

Wiccan · 22/04/2023 21:25

Purplefoxes · 22/04/2023 21:18

@Rinkydinkydoodle you may have a big nose but you have an excellent sense of humour! 😂 I hope the OP can make peace with her nose. It's not healthy to obsess over any part of your body. I have a lopsided jaw and crooked teeth which would require surgery to fix but damn it I smile anyway. When you are a lovely person on the inside and think good thoughts it really does radiate out from you! Love yourself and people will love you. It's taken me almost until my forties to truly understand this. You see those celebrities having cosmetic surgery and one thing is never enough, they keep going back and having more done in pursuit of some kind of perfection. Until they look like an AI creepy version of themselves. It is all an illusion! I'm sure some good make up lessons on shading would help OP find it more acceptable. And learning about flattering photo poses! And telling the husband to get some photography lessons!!

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It doesn't help by saying OP is obsessing. She feels this it's real to her . Weird how someone who doesn't like their nose is obsessing but a 14 year old girl that wants to remove her breasts is living her true life ?????