To be in tears over my nose?

[TheLostNights]

I never let anyone take photos of me as I am a very ugly woman. But the thing that bothers me most is my nose. It is very long and pointy. DH took a photo of one of the kids the other day and my side profile is in it and my nose just looked horrific.
Perhaps foolishly, I googled ways to minimise it naturally like with make up etc but came across an article about a man with the world's longest nose. His was 8CM. Or just over. Measured mine just now from top to the bottom and it's just over 7CM. Which now makes me feel even worse. DH started shouting at me saying it's getting like an obsession but I just hate how freak like it makes me look. Everyone else looks beautiful or at least normal. I hate the fact that unless I have a nose job (which I can't afford ) then I am stuck looking like this.

episode of Friends. " Rachel aren't you worried your child's gonna have your real nose "? Rachel : Yep , all the time !

Didn't the actress from Dirty Dancing do that? Got a nose job and wrecked her career?

I'm not sure I understand quite how the measuring works, but based on what PPs are saying, it doesn't sound as though you are anything other than on the larger side of normal. And there isn't actually any normal anyway, just lots and lots of variation.

And depending on the rest of your features, your nose may well be well balanced. Large features can look very strong and striking.

But if you really are this unhappy, it might be worth looking into ways to fund surgery. Lots of places have payment by instalments, or you could speak to some surgeries to find out about your options. It might be money well spent if this really is affecting your quality of life. Though I'll be very surprised if you look as bad as you think you do.

This was for @NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs

My fil has a gigantic nose long and also extends out far. I met him a few times and never noticed until my DH made a joke about his nose one day and then I couldn’t unsee it. I was mortified at the time but turns out it’s an ongoing family joke that they make from time to times him included. As time passed by I stopped noticing again because it’s just a part of his face it’s not ugly or disgusting it’s part of him.
Point being that when you look in a mirror or at a photo you see it instantly because it’s something u dislike, I honestly promise you that when people meet you it is not the first thing they see. I think you need to either learn to love yourself, whether or not some sort of therapy would help, or look into cosmetic surgery. Bear in mind that the results of cosmetic surgery can sometimes be disappointing so this is something to talk through too.

Carefull now, they are going to call you rude for saying this.

no, the difference is that poster is saying her husband thought she was attractive, not that only attractive women get married. There's a difference.

There was a similar joke in Frasier. The point in the end being that the large nosed grandparents were still wonderful people and anyway, they clearly loved and were attractive to each other.

Jokes like that were common back then because nose jobs were in. There were loads of jokes about breast size too because boob jobs were also in.

The way Mehmet Ozyureks nose was measured is from the bridge to the tip, and it is 8.8 cms long - almost 9cms (he is super proud of it). Yours is 6cm. Everyone has some part of their body that they are self conscious about so you are not alone in that. Try not to hate it as you will pass on body issues to your kids

I think it's great you had a happy experience with surgery and I wasn't trying to be negative about going down that route. I just wanted to promote body confidence.
I had some serious image complexities when I was younger which I learnt to accept and overcome, and in doing so I also learnt that most of it was in my mind and the way I thought of myself. Sometimes acceptance is key to learning to love yourself. Sometimes there is a better route to go down like in your instance. But not everyone has the opportunity to do that, so I just wanted to offer some kind words instead of enforcing surgery to be the best route, because it shouldn't be the only option to consider.
But I'm happy for you that you're happier in yourself now, and I think it's good for the OP to have the perspective of someone that's had surgery themselves 😊

Right so you're offended because you don't have a husband and others are offended because they do have one.
Ffs others trying to give a woman in distress a quick confidence boost does not mean they're shitting on you.

Yeah this is a very important distinction and is what people have taken issue with when it comes to what you said @NameChangedSoYouDontKnowHowBrokenMyHeartIs

Can you see the difference?

Saying 'genuinely ugly women never get married' simply isn't true and it's offensive and hurtful to people who are single and feel they are genuinely ugly. It will also make them feel shit and hopeless.

Nobody has denied your personal experience, they've said it's not a universal one for everyone who could be considered 'ugly'.

What am I reading here?

Not judging it I love friends , just stating if I changed my nose and my daughter gets the genetic nose what if I don't have the cash for her OP , she has to put up with nose I hated ?

I too have a horrific nose. In my mind it's fine but in reality huge! My friend had tiny A boobs and got a boob job to D on the nhs. If this is severely affecting your confidence and life do bring it up with the gp. You'd be surprised what the NHS will do to avoid paying for therapy!

I can sympathise- I am owner of a weird nose. It's hard but you have to own it. Striking features can be unconventionally beautiful, but if we always compare our noses to perfect button ones a la models, we will never see anything other than imperfection. I would never have surgery - putting your life at risk (general anaesthetic is dangerous) for a cosmetic change is draft in my opinion.

If my child inherited my nose and was really unhappy with it, I'd be honest and say I felt the same but worked hard to save up and spent a long time researching surgeons before getting a rhinoplasty. AND that it changed literally nothing in my life bar me now loving the shape of my nose.

I'd hope to able to put up a portion of the cash but obviously would depend on my finanical situation.

I understand how you feel op, I’ve got a fairly large nose and even now at 50 I will never forget a boy in my class calling me concord, it crushed me and I’ve hated my side profile ever since but I was too scared to have surgery. My dh says he loves my nose so that’s good enough for me, I have grown to accept it’s my nose.
I follow quite a few plastic surgeons on social media and whenever they put up profiles of clients before and after photos following rhinoplasty it’s amazing how many people comment that they preferred the before photos. That generic, perfect pert nose job really does seem to take something away from them, it takes away what made them, them!

My best friend at school hated her nose, she used to put her hand over it every time she spoke because she was so self conscious. She did get a nose job on the NHS when she was 17 but she didn't like it so had a second one privately. And she was much happier afterwards. I think if it impacts your life that much and how you feel then look into it. I have always been flat chested and regretted not getting breast implants although I might at a later date. It always made me feel unattractive although no boyfriend ever mentioned it but it affected my confidence massively.

I was in an accident as a child, which damaged my nose. It was fixed at the time in hospital, but ended up looking dreadful. Three years after the original accident, aged 14, when it was obvious there would be no further "healing" I had plastic surgery on the NHS. That sorted the main problem but I was left with scarring. I thought the scarring was very obvious, but was mostly relieved that I was no longer disfigured. I thought the scarring could be seen by anyone standing within 6 feet of me, whereas before the disfigurement was noticeable at a distance of about 30 feet. (On one occasion I came in second in a sport and the press photographer asked me to swap places with the person on the podium who came third, so that my damaged nose would be further from the camera(!) ) The plastic surgery stopped that sort of distressing thing from happening, so I felt I could live with the scars.

I covered the scarring with make up for nights out, but not otherwise.

In my third year at university I mentioned "the accident" in passing to my boyfriend. "What accident?" he asked. "The one that left me looking like this" I said. He just looked blank. He hadn't noticed the scars which still looked obvious to me.

The next day I asked several of my university friends how obvious they thought the scarring round my nose was. NONE OF THEM KNEW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! I thought the first couple of people I asked were just being kind, but I kept asking around and people kept being puzzled by my question.

Every time I looked in the mirror I could see the scarring. In fact, I still can. But I know that no-one else can.

Honestly, OP, your perception might be way off - mine was!

I have a big nose - people have commented on it in the past. It bothered me in the past and I have spent a fair amount of time obsessing over profile photos but now in my 40s I barely give it a passing thought. My dad has the same nose and when I look at him I don't really notice it. I have a handsome husband and wonderful family. I don't know what I will do if my DC have inherited it and will be bothered about it. I would support them to have plastic surgery if they wanted it.

I was interested by PP's post about Ferne from Towie. I looked her up and her original nose is very similar to mine. I actually prefer her previous look, although I'm glad she's happy with the changes.

When we get focussed on something we can develop a really distorted view of it. It sounds like there is a bit of that going on here. I would speak to your GP about it in the first instance. People do sometimes get help from the NHS in situations like this, where it is causing mental health problems. But they may want you to do some counselling too, which could be helpful.

in the kindest possible way @TheLostNights I really feel talking to a qualified health professional is a first step.

Im an arm chair MN’ter not a qualified HP but this seems to verge on body dysmorphia.

Have you always felt this deeply and strongly about your nose? I come from a family with strong ‘Roman noses’ and it’s just one of our quirks. That and Pectus Excavatum - otherwise know as sunken chest. It’s what makes us unique.

I wish you could see yourself how others see you. I wish you could accept that others love you physically. That they find you’re beautiful and never gave a second thought to how long your nose may be. I wish you luck.

OP do you have a prominent dorsal hump which makes it (in your eyes) look worse or is it just the length that bothers you? If the former is the case then look into non surgical rhinoplasty. Filler.

Contrary to what you'd expect it can actually make a prominent nose look smaller.

You can also get a "pixie lift" at the end of your nose which makes it look shorter in length.

My nose is fucked. It was broken years ago and remained bent but if I'm honest it has always been big, bulky and the dorsal hump made it look worse than it was.

I had liquid rhinoplasty last week and for the first time in years i can wear sunglasses without looking like I've just taken an uppercut from Mike Tyson and the shape is so much nicer. I paid £180 and unlike permanent rhinoplasty it dissolves in time (lasts 12-18mo) or can be dissolved straight away if you don't like it.

You have my sympathy and understanding. I have always been incredibly insecure about my nose and at times reduced to tears - if mentioned by others.

The man with the longest measured nose says his nose is a blessing from God and that he has an excellent sense of smell. So try and be more Mehmet and love your nose.

There's quite a lot of evidence that cosmetic surgery does not make people happier. And do you really want to go through all the risks associated with rhinoplasty just to change the way you look. Your family will lose the face of the person they love for no reason.

Get some therapy to help you stop fixating on your nose. And think about people who have serious physical abnormalities because of disease or injury, do you think they are ugly? I was at school with someone with three fingers, is she not deserving of love because her hands aren't normal? What about amputees? Or those that have extensive burns or scarring? Or can you understand that those people have other attributes that are more important than physical appearance that mean that they are still worthy of respect and love? So why would you think that your normal and completely healthy nose should be broken and have bits cut off to fit some Hollywood standard of physical perfection? Can you see that is not helpful thinking?

Most of us don't fit those Hollywood physical beauty standards but we are smarter or funnier or kinder or healthier or more thoughtful or more musical or can build better lego models or are better with animals or are fantastic at art or knitting or pottery or climbing or cycling or running or yoga or DIY or gardening etc etc etc. Physical beauty is just one aspect of what makes us interesting to other people and is in many ways the least important.

I don’t understand why you’re measuring your nose to under your lip.