Waking us everyday at 6.30 am

[Springinabundance]

We have guests staying for ten days, it’s actually my parents. They go to bed at 9pm and wake at 6.30. They’re in the spare room right next to our room.
My dad wakes and goes to one of the bathrooms very close and brushes his teeth, clears his throat etc.
Dd, 4, is completely overtired and very difficult 😩
She needs 11 hours sleep to be her normal self. I take her up to bed at 7, but with the lighter evenings, she sometimes doesn’t fall asleep until 8.30.
I’ve asked my mum if they could please try to keep quieter in the mornings as Dd needs her sleep etc. She said it’s hard to stay in bed if you’re awake and up (she’s very quiet though tbf)
I don’t know what the solution is here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dh is exhausted too as Dd is sharing with us, so he often comes down to sleep on the sofa…my dad comes down at 6.30 to make a coffee and open the doors etc
Our usual wake up time during the week is 8ish and weekends a bit later.
Its been another 6.30 start today and already Dd is acting nuts!

@AutisticLegoLover Work too far to drive to and we walk everyday when home in the woods and beach with our dog. I can’t walk her to school, then be back home then to work in time and it’s further than it seems. Dd gets so much exercise and time outdoors

In the UK people have to get up a lot earlier for work and chores etc so 6.30am would not be strange. Sadly UK small children are often up at 5.30am never mind 6.30am. Just wait unil you have student age children cooking at 3am or coming home at 4am as I do!!

How about suggesting to your Dad that as he is up and about and your DD is awake too, that it might be nice for him to have a little grandpa time and mind her downstairs until you get up?

and of course ask your dad to get up later, be quieter,

@Xenia I can cope with lack of sleep, it’s dd and her difficult behaviour, it’s exhausting with work, running the house, cooking, days out etc

Honestly it's not the middle of the night. I understand your dd but the whole family being 'exhausted' sounds a bit drama lama to me .

Think you need to suck it up, 6:30 isn't early but 8 certainly is late. We're up at 6 here during the week and push it to 6:30 at the weekends. Bed time is usually 11-midnight.

Your dad needs to be quiet in the morning and respect your family's routine and sleep needs. If he can't be quiet in the morning then he needs to book them into a hotel or go home early. Other than a quick morning wee there is no reason why he can't go back to bed and read for an hour.

People saying 6.30 isn’t early are completely missing the point, it’s early for OPs family and their routine. It’s like saying to someone who usually gets up at 6.30 that 5 isn’t early 🙄

Saying that though OP, you said your parents are staying for 10 days and there is a week to go? So you’re all ‘absolutely exhausted’ after losing 4 hours sleep over 3 nights? That seems a bit ridiculous.

I feel like I’m on another planet reading this thread.

I would be fuming to be up at 6.30 am on the weekend, unless I chose to be. I woke at 7am this morning as I’d gone to bed early last night but it’s usually 8.30/9 am.

OP - YANBU, tell your dad to be quiet and clean his teeth and clear his throat (🤮) out of ear shot.

It’s a weird MN thing that if you don’t get up at the crack of dawn you’re supremely lazy.

OP you're getting judged for what time you wake up which is quite frankly no one's business but yours.
The main point imo is that you have asked your Father to get up a bit later and the answer has been "no".
That's what sucks!

Are you in the U.K.? 8am wake ups in the week is unusual for the majority of people who need to get to school/work etc. Though you may WFH and she may not have started school.

Im an early riser. If I need to be up to get ready I do need to move and make a noise. If not, I just go and sit downstairs.

Maybe she's not tired enough with her grandparents invading you are you able to do the normal things in her day, it sounds very unsettling to have people staying for her.

It’s a weird MN thing that if you don’t get up at the crack of dawn you’re supremely lazy.

I think it's an age thing TBH. I won't see 60 again and very rarely sleep in late now. Once I'm awake in the morning I can't just turn over and go back to sleep.

Can you not give your dad a flask of coffee or tea to take to bed so he can have one when he wakes up without disturbing the whole household? It’s not unreasonable to ask him to read/lie in for an hour or so until you are all up.

Don't know if you saw the forced afternoon nap post but do that OP. DH today with her and you tomorrow, or vice versa, get in bed and cuddle her until she (and you) fall asleep. Don't expect her to go down for a nap alone though, one of you will need to go too or it's more hassle than it's worth.

I think you need to talk to your dad. flask of coffee or kettle in room so they don’t need to actually get UP so early? Use downstairs bathroom?

Also, move the dinner booking earlier! Why make things even harder for yourself?

Solution: tell them since they are already up do they mind having dd while you and your DH go back to bed for a hour?

I think the issue really is inconsiderate dad.

my mum comes to stay regularly without asking, for indeterminable time, when she’s here she takes calls in the middle of the night where she shouts down the phone, her alarm goes off and she doesn’t hear it or turn it off, her phone rings at full volume and she takes forever to answer, she’ll be watching Facebook videos at full blast while I’m reading a bedtime story, she brings her dog that DH is allergic to and who poo’s in the house, she snores, she sleeps in and shouts at the kids when they wake up at normal time (6.30-7), she vapes in the house and we’ve asked her not to, she has locked the inner door and gone to sleep so we can’t get in etc, when we watch our usual tv she talks all over it moaning about the characters or moaning about the government.

I’ve said to her next time she absolutely cannot stay anymore.

if you are all up anyway, I’d shout out “shuttup!!!” when he clears his throat and make it clear it’s rude to wake people up.

Why is DD sharing with you?

So put her down for a nap before lunch?

Well, you can can't exactly tell a guest that they're not allowed to get up to pee or brush their teeth.

I suspect the main issue is that DD is excited and not sleeping properly as she's in with you instead of in her own room and her own bed.

As it's only been three days, you may find she adjusts soon. If not, short of telling your parents to go home, there's not much you can really do about it. You can't force her to sleep if she doesn't want to.

I'd speak to them about meeting in the middle so wake up 7:15. Other than a loo break if needed.

If DD is that tired will she nap in the car or pram? Maybe a short term solution for the few days your parents are staying. Next time I'd suggest they only stay a couple days or hotel.

I assume the grandparents are in her room?

Definitely this! 630 is not an unsociable time
to be up. And they are guests.