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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Waking us everyday at 6.30 am

338 replies

Springinabundance · 22/04/2023 08:51

We have guests staying for ten days, it’s actually my parents. They go to bed at 9pm and wake at 6.30. They’re in the spare room right next to our room.
My dad wakes and goes to one of the bathrooms very close and brushes his teeth, clears his throat etc.
Dd, 4, is completely overtired and very difficult 😩
She needs 11 hours sleep to be her normal self. I take her up to bed at 7, but with the lighter evenings, she sometimes doesn’t fall asleep until 8.30.
I’ve asked my mum if they could please try to keep quieter in the mornings as Dd needs her sleep etc. She said it’s hard to stay in bed if you’re awake and up (she’s very quiet though tbf)
I don’t know what the solution is here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dh is exhausted too as Dd is sharing with us, so he often comes down to sleep on the sofa…my dad comes down at 6.30 to make a coffee and open the doors etc
Our usual wake up time during the week is 8ish and weekends a bit later.
Its been another 6.30 start today and already Dd is acting nuts!

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 22/04/2023 10:29

It isn't much earlier than normal surely?

MariaRemindsMeOfAWestSideStory · 22/04/2023 10:30

Also not sure why people are so surprised by the 8am wake up time.

I have a 2 year old and we all wake up at 8am. He’s at nursery and I’m at work by half 9…. He is also a terrible sleeper so I’m grateful he’s not up at the crack of dawn!

GiveInToTemptation · 22/04/2023 10:31

Anybody who gets up at 6:30am is unreasonable imo! Especially if there is no reason for it and you're in somebody else's house! I don't see why they can't they just go to bed a bit later and get up later.

When in Rome...

Snugglemonkey · 22/04/2023 10:32

Springinabundance · 22/04/2023 09:12

We’re supposed to be going out for dinner at 7 pm tonight, dreading it as she’s hyper already and it’s only 9 am
She used to nap in the day until age 3, then she wouldn’t anymore.

I would not be going out for dinner at 7 in these circumstances.

Snugglemonkey · 22/04/2023 10:33

Springinabundance · 22/04/2023 09:25

@RockGirl He has to be up and dressed to start the day 😩Dh is generally asleep on the sofa and he comes down to make coffee etc and open the patio to go in the back garden

Tell him he is not to do this

Titusgroan · 22/04/2023 10:34

Black out blinds or curtains for the bedroom for your dd.
Go to bed earlier
Weve had builders 6 days a week for the last 2 years pissing about right under our jettied single glazed windows with huge machinery from 7:30am, no sign in sight of them ever finishing as they’ve clearly run out of money……probably all on diesel as they leave them idling for hours. ( apologies for the rant )
A week only seems like bliss to me.

Greenqueen40 · 22/04/2023 10:35

I think a lot of people are being unnecessarily harsh - I suspect its the ones with early risers! 6.30 would be ridiculously early in my house, all 3 under 10's are forced out of bed at 8 for school at 8.45. I work nights so am very happy with that, each family has different routines - weekends are an hour or so later. Your dad is being selfish and inconsiderate so tell him!! Also no way in holy hell would I take a 5yr old out for dinner at 7pm!!

Tippexy · 22/04/2023 10:36

It’s your dad you need to speak to, not your mum.

mafsfan · 22/04/2023 10:37

6:30 isn't that early. Annoying, but you either say minimum 7am before anybody moves or your get your DD to bed earlier. You can easily put up Gro blinds if you don't want to invest in blackout behind your existing blinds.

www.tommeetippee.com/en-gb/product/portable-blackout-blind#471=18973

My kids have a heavy lined blackout Roman blinds but we've also put Perfect Fit blackouts fitted to the windows. They have to go to sleep fairly early for their age because of school wake up time (6:45) and they need it to be dark.

www.blindsdirect.co.uk/perfect-fit-roller-blinds/blackout

Snugglemonkey · 22/04/2023 10:38

stillherenow · 22/04/2023 09:52

Definitely this! 630 is not an unsociable time
to be up. And they are guests.

Show quote history

That is highly subjective though. I would be furious if someone woke my household at 6.30 at the weekend. It is very unsociable to us.

MaryShelley1818 · 22/04/2023 10:40

It's only 10 days and it's 6.30am, it's really not that early.
Obviously if it was long term it would be different. My kids (5 and 2) also generally sleep until 7.30-8 but on 2 days a week have to get up at 6am. They're a bit tired but not the end of the world. I think you're being a bit precious tbh. You can't expect people to lie in silence in bed for hours because you lot can't get up on a morning.

Purplecatshopaholic · 22/04/2023 10:40

Get through it on this occasion, but don’t have them stay in your home next time and/or not for so long! If you are struggling that badly this time with a week still to go, I would gently suggest they go to a hotel for the rest of their holiday.

MargotMoon · 22/04/2023 10:41

The solution is for your dad to STFU

mafsfan · 22/04/2023 10:41

Just realised it's for 10 days!!! 🙈

Either speak to them or suck it up. Next time they come be prepared - nobody moves until X time, blackout for your daughter, meals out at a time that suits young children.

Confusion101 · 22/04/2023 10:45

OP we have a similar time line in our house so while 6.30 might be wake time in other people's houses, I too would consider it an early start!

The bedtime is nothing to do with your parents, and is probably going to be a problem when they go, so you need to think of ways to combat that. Agree with what PP have said about wind down time, blackout curtains, strict bedtime routine. Actually my nephew has a clock that you can set the "day time" which will have a sun picture and a "night time" which has a moon. Generally he knows if the moon is there it's sleep time.

The waking in the AM is the only thing that is your parents fault. You have spoken to your mam, it didn't work. Speak to your dad! I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect him to sit in his room for 1hr30 - 2hrs so waking DH on the couch is still going to be an issue. Is there any other sleeping arrangement?

Is DD going for dinner with ye tonight? Sorry but why would ye book dinner for 7 knowing her bed time is 7.30? No wonder you are dreading it already!! 🙈🙈🙈

Realistically there are a lot of factors to why your DD might be out of routine. I'm assuming she doesn't usually sleep in with ye so she's in a different bed, with brighter evenings, and 2 extra house guests than usual.

Truestorypeeps · 22/04/2023 10:50

although my parents don't wake us up, it's similar for us here in that when we stay with them, we are downstairs an hour or two after after them, so they get some quieter time/a break from us, but when they stay with us, it's the other way around and they are always there! I personally could not have them stay for ten days!!! Maybe your family is more chilled, we'd be having disagreements (with my grumpy father) and generally feeling sick of the sight of him every every waking minute by day 5! It's not healthy to stay for that long and f up your routine, it's already causing I'll feelings. I would explain the situation with his grandchild and if he won't put them first and stay put for an hour, he's not a great granddad is he?

nopuppiesallowed · 22/04/2023 10:50

Ear plugs. For everyone....😀

TreadLightly3 · 22/04/2023 10:50

@Springinabundance have you tried taking your dd for a drive in the afternoon while your parents are here? She may well nod off after a while even if she doesn’t do naps anymore then you can enjoy her having a second wind in the evening xx

TreadLightly3 · 22/04/2023 10:51

P.s. your dad is being very self-centred

Truestorypeeps · 22/04/2023 10:52

TreadLightly3 · 22/04/2023 10:51

P.s. your dad is being very self-centred

Exactly! He should practice putting others first, especially as he's in THEIR home

fryanddry · 22/04/2023 10:56

its temporary, so i put yabu
i think its nice that your parents have a healthy morning routine,
and you should be grateful that your parents want to spend time with you and stay at your house imo
ive never had that experience

LudicrouslyCapaciousBag · 22/04/2023 11:01

Springinabundance · 22/04/2023 09:10

We have heavy blinds and it’s darkish in the room but still impossible to get her to sleep by 7

Darkish isn’t enough for a child who is very sensitive to light and the situation is only going to get worse until June. You need total blackout. Longer-term get bloc blinds installed in her room. In the meantime use cardboard or a Gro company travel blackout blind to double up with the existing blind and create a total blackout.

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 22/04/2023 11:03

You need to tell your dad that it is customary for guests to fall in with their hosts' routine. And maybe not invite them again.

RampantIvy · 22/04/2023 11:06

I think you meant to tag @FfeminyddCymraeg.
I was responding to their post @PrettyMaybug. I said that I thought it was an age thing.

Anybody who gets up at 6:30am is unreasonable imo! Especially if there is no reason for it and you're in somebody else's house! I don't see why they can't they just go to bed a bit later and get up later.
When in Rome...

DH can't force himself to stay asleep. He is a natural early waker, which is why we prefer to stay in hotels/airbnb.

DahliaMacNamara · 22/04/2023 11:09

I think you'll have to suck it up for the next week or so, OP. But I do think it's shit, especially as it's a Saturday morning. Not the early morning bathroom visits, and the coffee-making is fine if it could be done at a whisper rather than a roar. But romping about, opening doors and waking the entire household isn't on.

We used to have the ILs to stay when we lived a few hundred miles away, and I'd take the kids to visit them too. Oddly enough, in their house they kept to their own hours, and expected us to do the same. And in my house, they kept to their own hours, and expected us to do the same. So I do feel your pain. But it's not forever.