Waking us everyday at 6.30 am

[Springinabundance]

We have guests staying for ten days, it’s actually my parents. They go to bed at 9pm and wake at 6.30. They’re in the spare room right next to our room.
My dad wakes and goes to one of the bathrooms very close and brushes his teeth, clears his throat etc.
Dd, 4, is completely overtired and very difficult 😩
She needs 11 hours sleep to be her normal self. I take her up to bed at 7, but with the lighter evenings, she sometimes doesn’t fall asleep until 8.30.
I’ve asked my mum if they could please try to keep quieter in the mornings as Dd needs her sleep etc. She said it’s hard to stay in bed if you’re awake and up (she’s very quiet though tbf)
I don’t know what the solution is here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dh is exhausted too as Dd is sharing with us, so he often comes down to sleep on the sofa…my dad comes down at 6.30 to make a coffee and open the doors etc
Our usual wake up time during the week is 8ish and weekends a bit later.
Its been another 6.30 start today and already Dd is acting nuts!

Maybe he could just go downstairs and stay there in the morning, assuming you have a loo down there? My husband does this when we visit our son and his family as he gets up very early and doesn't want to disturb them. You can hardly expect him to just lie in bed for an hour and a half.

Children wouldnt question why its not bedtime when it light if everyone would not say...."its bedtime cos its dark" when they are little. My children never questioned it until they had a babysitter who told them. Then they suddenly didnt want to go to sleep before it was dark. It took 3 whole months to explain that it depended on the clock and not the light/dark.
Its a short term thing with your parents. Enjoy them staying, life is too short.

You're lucky your 4 yo doesn't wake you at 6:30am every day like ours does

I think house guests should stay 3/4 nights MAX

Black outs for dd xx

I do, as many others above! What a way of extrapolating your life to everyone.

We wake up at 8am. DH makes breakfast for the kids while I have a shower. When I finish, DH has the shower and I go down and check the uniforms, bags, sort out last bits. We walk to school 8:45am. It's around the corner so we can be back home at 9am for WFH. If DH has to go to the office, he leaves at 8:30am instead of walking to school. If I have to go to the office, I take the train after dropping kids off at school. I arrive at 9:40 am but my work is flexible and I can just work those minutes later that day, from home, or another day working through lunch, whatever.

At the weekend, we all stay in bed until 8-8:30am. My kids tend to also go to bed late, no matter what time they are up and ready for bed. We leave their room at 8am but they read until 9:30pm.

So for us, given our routine, which has been like this for years... 6:30am every day would be a massive change and we would all be exhausted and cranky. I would struggle myself and if I add to that a tired kid, I would be huffing and puffing throughout the day!

I would speak to my parents and explain that it's way too early for us, see what adjustments could be done. Could you put a mattress in the living room where the TV is, so your dad getting up for coffee don't disturb you, and he could watch TV at low volume? DH could then sleep in the guest room?

Sorry but an hours sleep a day over a few days can have a massive impact! My son is 4. Weve been in Turkey for a week so had lots of late nights (8-9pm) Then on return he developed chickenpox resulting in another few dàys of waking in the night, bed wetting and feeling really cranky and sore. He's usually well behaved but today and yesterday he was so difficult, screaming for things, making threats when being told he couldn't have extras due to his behaviour, refusing to do things. Sleep is so important. If she's struggling, maybe start the bedtime routine at 6 or 6.15 and read a relaxing story until 6.30 then let her go off herself by 6.45/7? Over time it will get better x

I've not read everything but rather than it being about getting up times why don't you ask dp to go to bed later, 9pm is early for adults, especially as dd isn't getting off til 8.30. If they stayed up later they'd wake later.

Enjoy the time with parents and the little one enjoying herself. You can always go back to a routine once they have gone. It’s not the end of the world and your parents aren’t going to be alive all your life. Your clearly stressing too much..

The fact a four year old is freaking out due to (barely) less sleep than she’s used to is weird. Tell her to behave.

How inconsiderate of your parents. Could they go to bed an hour later? 9 pm is very early!

The solution is maybe to focus on DD's behaviour as being part of the issue. Her behaviour shouldn't be so unmanageable and impacting due to routine change. And if she's waking up to someone brushing their teeth, then she's not in deep sleep and was probably about to wake up anyway.

And yes, 2 grown adults should be able to stay in bed for an hour and then quietly go downstairs to wait for everyone else to get up.

This!!

I was wondering when someone would raise this point! Thinking if it takes an hour and a half to get DD to settle down then she is either still wired from a busy day or she is very tired.
A wind down routine needs to be created and stuck to so that DD knows she is heading towards bed. So supper or a snack before a nice soothing bath, then bedtime story, chat and time to sleep. I say supper or snack because DD maybe waking up hungry - and a full tummy will help her sleep too.
My daughter would love it if our GS would sleep in till even 6.30am but it's not happening so given that your parents are there to visit the family encourage them to take DD downstairs and entertain her or give her breakfast.
It is just a few days and once your parents are gone then your routines will soon be restored.

Young children need sleep and the df should use another loo and keep noise down until 7-7.30. We rise at this time on a school day. Never earlier. I'd be tearing my hair out. Your house your rules.

Because she's gooood!! 😉

What a pretentious comment to make , she goes straight on from work from dropping kids off and that’s how their routine works ….. that wasn’t the initial question that was asked.

I used to have to get up early, 7-7.30 am, when I went to work (part time) and during term term. Weekends, days off and holidays never! I was fortunate that my child was never an early riser, nor was in bed by 8.30pm so stayed up happily with us. I could have sucked it up for a short while and would certainly have made allowances if parents stayed (which they didn't because lived near enough to us).

However it would not be unreasonable for the parents to use another loo if they insist on being up early. Waking you and your child up with noisy routine is inconsiderate.

Not sure why parents don’t just stay up later and get up later. They are staying as guests in your house.

Not sure why parents don’t just stay up later and get up later. They are staying as guests in your house.

it doesn’t work like that for me, if I go to bed at 9pm or 1am - I’ll still wake at 5:30am

I have one in primary school one in nursery. My alarms finish going off at 8, when I drag myself out of bed then I wake both kids. Throw breakfast at them which they eat while watching TV while I have a coffee and a smoke. At 8.20 me and my eldest head upstairs and he gets dressed while I shower and get dressed, we are ready to leave the house at 8.40am and walk 10 minutes to school arriving as or just after the gate opens.

Walk home, collect the toddler which OH has dressed while I was on the main school run, then we hop in the car and drive to nursery for 9.15, I'm home and ready to start work by 9.20 (not a long drive but not walkable)

If I had to do it alone without OH to tag team I'd shower before bed so I can get toddler dressed while big one is getting himself ready.

40-45 minutes at the most from waking to leaving the house, I gotta know what takes everyone else so long in the mornings! We don't rush about either!

40-45 minutes at the most from waking to leaving the house, I gotta know what takes everyone else so long in the mornings! We don't rush about either!

I think it's mostly much longer journeys to school or commutes or longer working hours.

On an office day, it takes me 50 mins to get into the office so if I want to do 7/8 hours in the office and get home in time for bedtime (which I prefer to do), I need my kids to be in breakfast club by 7:45/8 so I obviously can't have them not awake till then

The change in behaviour is probably less the lack of half an hour's sleep than the disturbance and excitement of having the DGPs around for so long.

10 days is a long stay - are they coming from overseas?

Because if doesn't always work like that.

Lots of people get up at the same time everyday regardless of when they go to bed.

It's also down to the host to accommodate the guest, not the other way around imo.

When we lived abroad and our children were small, we used to have my in laws stay with us for 2 - 3 weeks at a time. It involved changes of routine and excitement and we all loved it. We were fortunate in that my inlaws were lovely people. They slept in a bed in the (downstairs) study but we all managed with only one bathroom. When we visited them, we used to have one child sleeping on our floor or their floor. In OUR situation, it worked fine....But excited children and changes in routine did not result in badly behaved children. If they were tired, it resulted in an afternoon in bed with a cuddle and a story.

6.30 am is fine on a working day but not acceptable at weekends/rest days.
That would drive me crackers

Can dad get up and brush his teeth downstairs and get ready a bit quieter and stay downstairs till 8