Waking us everyday at 6.30 am

[Springinabundance]

We have guests staying for ten days, it’s actually my parents. They go to bed at 9pm and wake at 6.30. They’re in the spare room right next to our room.
My dad wakes and goes to one of the bathrooms very close and brushes his teeth, clears his throat etc.
Dd, 4, is completely overtired and very difficult 😩
She needs 11 hours sleep to be her normal self. I take her up to bed at 7, but with the lighter evenings, she sometimes doesn’t fall asleep until 8.30.
I’ve asked my mum if they could please try to keep quieter in the mornings as Dd needs her sleep etc. She said it’s hard to stay in bed if you’re awake and up (she’s very quiet though tbf)
I don’t know what the solution is here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dh is exhausted too as Dd is sharing with us, so he often comes down to sleep on the sofa…my dad comes down at 6.30 to make a coffee and open the doors etc
Our usual wake up time during the week is 8ish and weekends a bit later.
Its been another 6.30 start today and already Dd is acting nuts!

I disagree with some pp saying it's not relevant whether 6.30am is early or not because it's early for this family ... if you're going to ask other adults to stay in their room and not make a noise until a certain time, it makes a difference whether that time is a standard getting up time or if you're asking them to stay quiet until midday, for example!

In this case, 6.30 is neither unreasonably early to be up, nor unreasonable to expect to still be asleep if your routine permits it. Therefore I would ask the dad to keep noise to a minimum, but I would also recognise that he will probably have to at least get up to use the loo if that's the time he's used to waking. I'm sure if you speak to him (you seem only to have spoken to your mum) he would make some accommodation such as using a different bathroom (your op implies that there is more than one in the house) and maybe going out for an early morning walk. On the other hand, you'll also have to compromise, because someone who habitually wakes at whatever time is going to have trouble staying absolutely silent for another 90 minutes. So do as pp have suggested - siesta in the daytime, insist on dd laying still and quiet once it's bedtime even if she's not yet asleep (rest is second best to actual sleep), and if she wakes with 90 minutes left until normal getting up time, that's time to settle back down for another snooze. If nothing else works, it's only for another week, it's not the end of the world.

FWIW, I would ask dad to stay quiet until 7am as a first start. 7am is near enough to 6.30 that he should be able to hold off everything except possibly going to the loo, and even that he might be able to last. It's really not going to be pleasant, since you're in a hot climate, for them to waste the coolest part of the day and not be able to get up until 8am (by which time, presumably, you and dd and dh will all want the bathroom and kitchen so there'll be a wait on those too).

Springinabundance, I just re-read your posts and note you said your dad goes to one of the bathrooms near to where you sleep. It sounds as though you have more bathrooms in which case he could surely choose one which is not so near your bedroom.

Just a thought.

I have no idea where OP lives … “ abroad” could be anywhere really a d it’s all rather coy . But given her parents have possibly flown over from the U.K. maybe they are just jet lagged and trying to establish a normal rhythm. Irrespective , they are visitors and it’s for 10 days so maybe just deal with it.

A/ mind your own business, OP hasnt come on here to ask what you think about her school run B/ if you read what she said properly you would realise she continues on to drive to work, which is likely to be the main reason why she drives to school.

This is really annoying. They should stay in bed and read until a civilised hour. Bit late taking a young child out to dinner at 7 pm. This will disrupt her sleep.

The issue isnt either the DD or the GP. Its they just have imcompatible daily routines.

Unlikely that the OP would hear about the tailbacks on the M25 on the radio given that she’s not in the UK.

Her later start probably is commonplace for her locality.

I don’t live in the UK either but our schools start much earlier than the UK ones. Primary age kids start at 7.30am - the school bus comes at 6.50am.

I don’t have kids, so not sure if this is a terrible idea, but can your daughter wear good quality earplugs?

My OH gets us very early, sometimes two hours before me, and so I wear earplugs. I would say I sleep through more than 50% of the time despite him having a normal morning routine inc the coffee machine.

I 100% get it OP! My dd is also 4, also needs 11-12 hours or her behavior is awful. Having guests would make it worse but she does not cope with missing out on any/much sleep. My parents are the same and this is why DH’s parents can’t stay with us because they would be noisy in the evenings and she NEEDS to go to sleep by 7:30.

soMe kids are fine with a bit less but it’s ok if yours is not!!

Also where I live there are many schools with no pavements near them and it’s illegal to walk to the school because you would have to walk in the road.

Those schools all have ‘kiss and ride’ pick ups and drop offs so you don’t have to find a place to park and get your child out of the car and walk them into the school.

You just line up behind the car in front drive forward and stop at a certain point and your kid gets out or gets into the car helped by a member of staff if they are little and then you drive off.

Where do you live?!

I’m in uk and actually same where my children go to school. It’s private though and a load of grounds men organise it

Pick up though is not like that.

USA - but it’s different all over of course even within our State even within our particular county.

I don't think you're being precious at all. In your shoes, I would sit down with my DPs and explain to them that you have been very accommodating during their stay so far, but their refusal to keep it down in the mornings is causing lots of disruption for DD and therefore, for you and DH as her parents too. If they are unable to keep to the house rules, they will need to find a hotel to stay at, as it's simply not sustainable as is.

What would they do if someone didn't have a car? Just not allow them to come to that school?

You wouldn’t apply to that school. They don’t tend to be in urban easy to reach areas.

so my children’s school is in arse end of no where

So everyone drives and no one lives locally

I was asking @wordler because she was suggesting that it was actually illegal to walk to school there. Obviously I understand that in rural areas 99% of people will drive to school but actually making it illegal to walk is something else..

I think what she means is that in the US it’s illegal to jay walk

so the position of the school means that getting there by foot means breaking the law

They have an amazing school bus system - those big yellow buses you see in the movies.

It’s one of the few public services that America does really well.

Because we are very rural the bus stops at the top of our driveway.

DD is now at secondary school and her bus ride is 45 minutes. If I drive her it takes 20 minutes so some days we have a lie in and I drive her.

They are your guests and I very much doubt that the extra hour of sleep is making that much of a difference to your DD. I think I would be trying a different approach to disciple personally. If your dad needs the loo and to clear his throat what is he actually meant to do?

And yes the vast majority of kids get up somewhere between 6.30 and 7.30 so there must be a way to establish a routine which doesn’t involve a silent house until 8am!

That’s exactly what I meant. You could live half a street away and still have to get the bus vs risk being caught breaking the law.

Sorry OP didn’t mean to derail your thread!

That seems a bit crazy!