Waking us everyday at 6.30 am

[Springinabundance]

We have guests staying for ten days, it’s actually my parents. They go to bed at 9pm and wake at 6.30. They’re in the spare room right next to our room.
My dad wakes and goes to one of the bathrooms very close and brushes his teeth, clears his throat etc.
Dd, 4, is completely overtired and very difficult 😩
She needs 11 hours sleep to be her normal self. I take her up to bed at 7, but with the lighter evenings, she sometimes doesn’t fall asleep until 8.30.
I’ve asked my mum if they could please try to keep quieter in the mornings as Dd needs her sleep etc. She said it’s hard to stay in bed if you’re awake and up (she’s very quiet though tbf)
I don’t know what the solution is here 🤷🏻‍♀️
Dh is exhausted too as Dd is sharing with us, so he often comes down to sleep on the sofa…my dad comes down at 6.30 to make a coffee and open the doors etc
Our usual wake up time during the week is 8ish and weekends a bit later.
Its been another 6.30 start today and already Dd is acting nuts!

I mean, I know jay walking is illegal in the US and that most people drive everywhere, I just didn't realise there were lots of schools which made it impossible to walk to them at all.

Could you say to your DD that when she gets up she can go and play with grandad? That should solve both problems a bit....

6.30 is early? Fuck me I need to change jobs as I'm out the door by that point usually. Need to find me a job that allows me to sleep in until 8am!

They get around this by providing a truly superb school bus service that will pick up from the back end of beyond

It’s actually very controversial here - lots of people mad they can’t walk to school.

And there are also schools in the same district that do have pavements and so they cancelled the school bus option for anyone within walking distance to encourage them to walk and loads of people were really mad about that!

The competitive early risers are out in force….

But walking is good for you - it's not just about transport. I think it's important that kids get the habit of walking short distances

It's good that some people care about it, at least!

I'm wondering how you normally manage by getting up at 8am during the week!

Most 4 year olds are up by 6 or 7 surely? And how do you manage to get ready for school and work in that time?

I totally sympathise but unfortunately many old people have rigid sleep and food routines, just like young children. I think it is very difficult for you to be caught in the middle, but it is quite normal. It is also standard for children to misbehave and become overexcited when grandparents are around when they come to stay, one of my DC continued to do this until he was 10!
I think best to just tolerate it and get through it because there are only so many times the grandparents get to enjoy the child and vice versa. Life is too short.

OMG - at least read the OPs posts if you don’t want to read the whole thread.

You need to

Insist they stay in bed slightly later
Tell them to stay in a hotel or AirBnB

But your waking time is very late.
I know you are not in the UK. Here, our neighbours often leave for work at 7.30am or earlier. Most families here with your kids are up really early especially in the spring and summer. The school bus leaves at 7.50am for older children.

I am up by 7-ish most days (and am possibly your parents age.)

Currently I get up around 7.45-7.55am. Alarm goes off at 7.30 but I’ve got my routine worked out so I don’t actually need to get out of bed at 7.30. My primary age kids are usually awake from 7.15/7.30ish and watching tv, but latest they can sleep is 8am.

Make kids breakfast (cereal and toast) and myself a cup of tea and some toast 8-8.10ish. Harrass kids to get dressed, brush teeth and brush hair 8.15-8.30. 8.30 get shoes and coats on and school bus picks them up at the end of our drive (about 100 yards and can be seen from my kitchen window) at 8.35am

I work 5/10min walk away, or a 1min drive if I know I’ll need my car that day, and start around 9. I have time to potter in the house for 15 min ish. Usually do my hair and put a load of washing in, and then I leave for work.

DH works various times and so can have left the house at 7am occasionally, or not be starting til 10 or 11am so he’ll sleep in. Often he wfh and starts at 9.

But yes we are a household with primary school age kids and jobs and we don’t get up that much earlier than 8am. 6.30 would be early for us! (I have also commuted for jobs where I’ve had to leave the house well before 8am to get trains etc so I’m well aware that is also normal for lots of families)

That has not been my experience, with friends and familys kids who arent in the UK.
My niece, aged 3 would happily sleep in until 11am.
They only wake up at 6 or 7 if they are used to waking up at 6 or 7. Its not an internal thing or anything!

I was definitely not up at that time when I was a kid. 9/10 am was always more my jam (and it still is!)

@Springinabundance can you get a blackout blind up in DD's room to get her to sleep earlier? It's worked wonders with out LO. Even a temporary stick on type one if you don't want a permanent blind.

Because her DD doesn't need to be at school until 9.15, and she doesn't start work until 9.30am.

Expecting small children to go to bed early and be up at the crack of dawn is a very British thing imo.

YADNBU
Your DF is either very self-centred or very ignorant.
One person (him) is upsetting 3 others very badly.
It's your house and he should respect your times/ways, probably even more so because you've got a little one.

I hope for your sakes he goes home soon.
Failing that, why don't you and your DH speak to him?

My mother used to make a bit of noise at night as she couldn’t sleep. That was OK as she used to sleep on the sofa bed downstairs. Maybe you should think about your parents sleeping downstairs if they want to stay for for more than a couple of nights.They could get up in the morning and not disturb you. Your daughter could stay in her room so that would be better. You haven’t come back when people questioned you about your father. Is he not approachable?
If so a hotel.

Right??

I lived in the UK for 14 years and have loads of british friends, who have kids.
And theyre always like "oh my DC is up at 5/6 am every morning! Can never get a lie in!"
I mean... of course they are! You put them to bed at 6pm! Theyve had their 12h. They dont need anymore! If you put them to bed at 8, theyd sleep later!

Of course if you yourself have to be up at 5/6 for work, then it works out and your child is not overtired, but otherwise I dont get it!

I have recently had some 7am shifts and having the alarm go off before 6am is very disturbing to me 😂

It is not true that old people can’t change their ways. We get up at anything from 5:30 onwards on days when we are looking after our grandchildren but on the other days we sit and read until about 8:00.

@ASGIRC yessssss could not agree more!!!!! So many of my friends are the same. You can't get it both ways, bed early up early. Bed slightly later, up slightly later. Unless you are one of those unfortunate ones that have a bed late up early kid 😅

I come from a culture that doesn't do early bedtimes so I didn't push it on my kids but they just naturally prefer a 7pm bedtime.. When I have tried keeping them up later, e.g. on holiday, they just still get up early but are really stroppy because they haven't had enough sleep. They seem to adjust super fast when the clocks change too, even if we try not to let them. It isn't as simple as "put them to bed later, they will sleep later"

I have learnt to like it though - my friends who have kids that go to bed late find it a lot harder to go out in the evening, we can get a babysitter and go out to the theatre for example and they will be asleep most of the time. We also need to start work ideally early to get our stuff done so it wouldn't suit us to have kids we had to drag to breakfast club. And, on balance, I would rather have evenings without children than lie ins anyway

'Your DF is either very self-centred or very ignorant.One person (him) is upsetting 3 others very badly.'

You don't know that. He could've been awake since 5am with backache desperate to get up.

The dh needs to get his arse off the settee and leave it free for when their guests get up and <shock > open patio doors.

Um. What?

I don't drive. We don't own a car. Are you saying that owning and driving a car is a prerequisite for your children to attend that school?

What country are you in?

If you'd carried on reading, you'd have learnt that @wordler is in the US and that they have school buses to do pick-ups for those whose parents don't drive (or who live too far away)