To think we try and encourage babies to be independent too soon?

[graciousgrace]

I just don't understand the obsession with wanting babies to be so independent so early on? I go to quite a few baby groups, and am constantly hearing comments like...

"I don't spoon feed my baby, I've encouraged self feeding from day one."

"My baby sleeps through the night because I didn't respond to their cries when they woke up."

"I don't rock my baby to sleep because they need to learn to put themselves to sleep and self soothe."

"I don't co-sleep because my baby needs to be in their own room in their own cot."

And the most shocking one of all... a mum at a baby group I went to said that her 7 month old baby "will only do a poo on the toilet"! Literally couldn't make it up!

As a mum who happily spoon feeds, co-sleeps and rocks my baby to sleep, it is so annoying hearing these comments because it's like these mums think they're superior. What's wrong with me wanting to treat my baby like a, you know, baby? I mean, great for you if those things work for you, but us mums who do things differently shouldn't be made to feel inadequate or like we're doing things wrong. Babies are only babies for such a short amount of time, so why can't we embrace the time when they actually need us to do things for them? I doubt I'll have a 15 year who still wants to be spoon fed, rocked to sleep and sleep in my bed 😂 does anyone agree or am I just being too sensitive?

@MumApril1990 I'm more than just a mother, my baby is an important part of my life but he isn’t my whole life and I think that’s a good thing for the both of us.

It doesn’t mean he’s an inconvenience just because I’ve made different decisions to you.

Mothers don’t need to be martyrs to be good mothers.

No they aren't.... You're telling me a 12 month old baby has the capacity to control their bladder to the point they can take themselves to the toilet without any prompting, remove their clothes and do their business with no accidents? Show me examples where this is the norm, with actual independent toileting.

I know this is the best part of a month late, but @Wenfy is talking pure SHITE.

No way, I have relatives who never put their baby down. He's 8 months old and can't sit up because they hold him constantly. Encouraging them to use their bodies is important for development.

I hold mine constantly and she could sit up unaided at 4 months.

Snap! Dd was a stage 5 clinger and I held her constantly until she was about 18months old. She could sit unaided at 4 months too. All babies are different, you don't damage them by keeping them close.

Your not on the same planet....a 12 to 18 month old is barely walking let alone going to a toilet climbing on, undressing, wiping then redressing and going to a sink to wash hands. The pre disposable era was potty training to reduce washing and it meant sitting your child for large parts of the day with many feeding on the potty. Many children were left nappy free crawling on wooden floors they didn't wee less .....how much academic research have you done on the subject? Many poor homes reeked with the smell of urine and pooh in wealthy homes that had nannies a nanny was paid to watch and catch....you can condition any animal to pee on command.....just like most of us can produce a sample or force a wee before a long trip.....you can also condition pooh times by feeding them enforced sitting for half an hour.....but as a minute per year is like an hour of adult time why would you mistreat a child like that....and probably scream about how wrong a 2 minute time out would be?
I'm sure the baby wearers in paddy fields etc have totally potty trained 12 month olds

How did she sit up when she was in your arms? How did she learn to undress herself and get onto the potty if you never put her down?

How did she sit up when she was in your arms? How did she learn to undress herself and get onto the potty if you never put her down?

@jannier

Well she's only 6 months old now so give her chance!

Also, you can't hold them 100% of the time. That's physically impossible.

My second one gets put down plenty and couldn't sit unaided until 9 months. She's under a pediatrician for something unrelated and the pediatrician wasn't concerned about that.

Kind of understandable when the entire point of the image is the woman's purely coincidentally perfect breast, not the burglar that's crept in behind her or the angelic, not at all red-faced, sweaty, angry, biting, scratching and kicking, flaxen haired, toddler. Not even focusing on her - just her glowing, perfect breast.

Co sleeping can be safe. Personally, I preferred actual sleeping. Same way I preferred food getting into my child occasionally, rather than a spoon being grabbed and used as a trebuchet in the direction of the ever hopeful cat or as a trowel for applying concrete mix weetabix to the hair they shriek with rage about having warm water or soap applied to.

But hey, as was said in those incredibly bitchy groups, some of us are just more natural parents than others...

I went to A LOT of baby groups; I never heard anyone say any of these things. Don’t take a few overheard conversations as evidence of some wholesale change in parenting attitudes. Everyone has always taken slightly varied approaches.