Aibu to be pissed off about neighbours complaining their kids behind in school but let them run around outside until bedtime?

[Bookwanderer]

My neighbours have been bitching about the school & that their kids school reports haven't been great.. However the second the kids are home from school their out playing until around 9pm even in the winter.. Most days they have friends home with them too.. They can't really blame the school can they?!!

Many children who are behind have identified SEN and/or disabilities, including learning disabilities, or are subject to other barriers to learning such as EASL. None of these is caused by "parents who can't be bothered". A child who is not meeting expectations is rarely doing so because their "parents cannot be bothered", there are almost always other factors at play.

Yes but you are not blaming the school.

Agree. If the neighbor knew how vicious and contemptuous the op feels toward her and her children, I’m sure she’d never let op come within 10 feet of her family again.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being slightly crap. Not everyone is academically gifted, not everyone thrives in school and not everyone is destined for Oxbridge (that MN pantheon of academic achievement).

I love working with the slightly crap kids because they tend to be outside the box thinkers, they also tend to be hard workers who will push themselves because they know they're not top of the heap and I love the sense of achievement they feel when they do get it right. I am massively proud of all the slightly crap kids I've worked with.

There is no one definition of success and there are a million different ways to be successful, plenty of slightly crap kids are now happily settled adults with decent jobs that play to their strengths. My sibling was a slightly crap kids, didn't even learn to read until age 9, and left school with one GCSE. He took a job in a manufacturing plant doing grunt work on a production line and worked his way up to the point that he is now an expert in a very niche aspect of the manufacturing process, have several staff working under him, and when he considered taking a job with a rival was offered a 25% payrise to stay with his current employer. He earns more than I do and still doesn't know his times tables.

Says who?

You said you support your dc but yoir kids "still insist on being slightly crap".
No mention of the school you said your kids "insist on being slightly crap".

Did I say I was blaming the school?

I don’t know why the OP is getting a hard time. Playing outside is great, but her neighbors should be finding some time to do some reading/writing practice and maths practice if they want their kids to do well. It wouldn’t take long and would still leave hours of time for playing outdoors. Nobody is suggesting chaining the kids to a desk for six hours at a time.

No I said you are not blaming the school (like my neighbours are) you replied "says who" ?!! I'm agreeing with you.
You are blaming your kids "who insist on being slightly crap".

Ah, yes! I see where the confusion has set in and where the "blaming my kids" bit took hold. Joyfully for you it seems.

My Daughter was a "bit crap" at mainstream school until she was 13 and got herself a scholarship to another school and is off to Bristol thos year

My son isn't academically minded bless him, so he'll go on a sports scholarship. He's 'slightly crap' indeed but he's got lovely manners and is studying at A level in Y9. Just can't do handwriting for toffee the poor lad.

You do cling on to some floating turds to prove your point don't you?

That's the eloquence I was looking for 😀

@Beenhereforever1978 your words not mine! You said your children "insist on being slightly crap".

They do! Yet they still decided to achieve.

I'm a bit tired now, shall we pick this up in the morning? I'm assuming we're moving just to my kids now because almost everyone has told you YABU about the ones who play outside.

I've a meeting at 10 but after that yeah?

@Beenhereforever1978 I said my kids were fine & you accused me of bragging 😂😂

I'm always up for bragging* *about my kids. They're brilliant and I will take every opportunity that isn't making up some nonsense about other kids.

Tomorrow? I really have to sleep now. I have a job which isn't neighbourhood watch.

Really? Are your descriptions fictional? 🤔 Bragging? You were running your poor children down @Beenhereforever1978 & don't try & backtrack.
I said my dc were doing fine & you accused me of bragging!
I have a job too which I enjoy immensely & I will continue to converse with my neighbours even though I don't agree that our children's school is rubbish.
Please go easy on your children @Beenhereforever1978 I doubt they "insist on being slightly crap at school" on purpose.

👍

Okay, and what if they are supervised in their reading/writing practice by someone with the same grasp of spelling and grammar that the op has? How will being confused with contradictory messages and being taught frequent mistakes support them to ‘do well?’ If the neighbours have the same ability as op maybe they quite rightly think that the best they can do for their children is let them be educated by trained professionals.

I'm a mum of 3, and I have yet to meet any parent who bitches or moans about their child being behind, or bottom set.

Quite the opposite, in fact 😂

@Kanaloa if that is a dig at me I would just like to let you know that my dc are perfectly capable of doing the work that is assigned by their teacher! My job is literally checking it & ensuring it's all done & signing their homework diary! My job is not to complete their work😂
My job is listen to their reading, ensure all written work is completed & their father is also on hand to help after he gets in from work but the dc are well finished by then.
I'm supporting their teachers to the best of my abilities which is all any parent can do & should do.

Fair point.
I understand there is good evidence homework for children too young is pointless- but doesn't every other study under the sun say that parents bring part of a child's education, supporting learning and respect of teachers lead to the best results??

Ie I agree with boom boom..

@gg45 at the end of the day parents are the most important educators of their own children. This obviously comes in many different formats. However parents need to take responsibility of their dc's education & stop blaming the school. The class in question has more than 30 children, mine included. It's a team effort.

Right, and what is it that you expect your neighbours to do? If your children were struggling, then you checking their written work wouldn’t necessarily be helpful, because your own grasp of SPAG is poor. So you wouldn’t be able to move them from the bottom set even if you refused to allow them to play after school.

Your children may not need support, which is great. But it isn’t because you’re teaching them at home and you’re so amazing. If it was all down to your teaching your kids would have the same struggles with writing correctly that you have. It’s likely that if these children are bottom set and really struggling that they do need more support in school, where they are supposed to receive the majority of their academic education.

@Kanaloa they were bitching & moaning that they weren't going to do whatever provisions were in place or whatever was sent home. They felt it should be done during school hours. They are anti homework & have started little campaigns against hw in the past which weren't supported by the majority in my dc's classes. I feel they should do what is sent home by the school with their dc.
Apologies re my spag, I'm typing v quickly & my autocorrect isn't the best & I'm not proofing it. I'll do better in future 👍