Aibu to be pissed off about neighbours complaining their kids behind in school but let them run around outside until bedtime?

[Bookwanderer]

My neighbours have been bitching about the school & that their kids school reports haven't been great.. However the second the kids are home from school their out playing until around 9pm even in the winter.. Most days they have friends home with them too.. They can't really blame the school can they?!!

Or if you want to be better than average, you have to put the hours in

I teach my DC plenty of things but am I about to bust out a round of column addition or French verbs at home? Am I shite.

Not at age 9 and 12.

So what is this post? Is it defending the school or slagging the parents?

You don’t know what the school is or isn’t doing to support the kids. At times, I have criticised my daughters school for their inaction.

And “helping your kids” can look different to different people. Maybe the kids NEED the downtime, maybe they NEED to run around because they spend their days cooped up under pressure to “perform” and they are completely mentally drained.

As someone who’s children are NOT struggling academically; you do not have the right to criticise someone without walking in their shoes.

For all you know, they are sat on here posting about how their neighbour has children who are already performing really well in school; yet the neighbour is completely rigid with routine, doesn’t allow her kids freedom to play, she’s concerned about their mental health because they spend 6 hours on academics during the day and then spend their evenings studying too; and the children have not had the chance to enjoy childhood.

Wait...wait...they happened to be right by your car discussing this very topic as you went to it to take your children to extra curricular?!?

What are the chances!?

As a teacher I really wish more children were out spending their evenings playing. I can support children who are falling behind in their Numeracy and Literacy but it's far harder to support the massive decline in social skills that I have witnessed in recent years as a result of children spending more and more time indoors on computers or at adult-led activities rather than having enough opportunities to play freely with other children.

I just think that maybe just maybe they can keep their dc in for an hour to even do the basics but both mums were riled up about how "useless the school is" & how they're not "making" the dc do "any of it"..

You could be describing my kids, one of them has unmet SEND and gone years unsupported and undiagnosed. He needs the time to be happy, sociable, physically active, and get all the pent up frustration from school out of his system. He won't do homework, because he's switched off from school after years of going unsupported. It's hard to promote a love of learning for a child who is made to feel like a piece of rubbish all day at school. I'm not going to rob him of a social life, play opportunities and plenty of time to decompress. I'm not going to deprive him of physical activity, that helps him regulate from the frustrations he feels at school. I'm not going to keep him in and make him do extra work, when his sibling who gets homework done quickly and easily gets to play out. And yeah I'm angry with the school. I've been fighting a constant battle for support and assessments, and he is being failed 30 hours a week and it takes a lot of repair. I hope he finds his way to a love of learning, but if he's doesn't having robust social skills is a pretty good protective factor. I was that kid as a child and found my way back to learning as an adult. I'm glad I got to play out and enjoy being a kid. You only get one childhood.
But I've been judged by neighbours in the past for letting them play (because apparently childhood is meant to be silent nowadays). Been judged for letting them play in the park until (shock horror) 7 or 8pm in the lighter months, when that's exactly what they need for physical health and mental health as well, to be using that energy in the most important job of childhood, play. Which they get less and less chance to do at school now due to shorter lunch times and more tests etc.

I have above average IQ, above average levels of qualification (honours and postgrad) and earn over 20k above national average.

Ive consistently done the bare minimum. I’ll continue to do so.

Maybe YOU need to work hard to be above average; but not everyone does.

@Bookwanderer that's not them saying they're not doing their part...

Well if you read my post they a few my next door neighbours after all 🙄 low & behold they are on the footpath ouside my house.. Isn't that a crazy coincidence @Beenhereforever1978 my next door neighbours outside my house on the footpath.. Is your mind blown? 🤣

Lo and behold

just FYI

Have the school been sending worksheets home for the kids?

Depends what time they need to wake up as to whether they are getting enough sleep. Asleep by 9:30, up at 7 could be fine. Playing outside until bedtime (stopping for dinner) is good and healthy. Allow half an hour to change for bed and read a book.

The parents are responsible for the children's education alongside the school. Learning doesn't stop at 3.15 on weekdays. Kids should be reading, writing, doing homework and learning through interaction with parents as well as classroom instruction. Physical outsude play is important but there is more to life.

Thank you! Agree 100%. As a parent with kids in the same school it's far from useless.
Their are kids also on the road who go to the local private & they get hours of homework.. Each to their own but those kids are happily functioning too & the parents don't complain.

She mentioned something about handwriting but they weren't going to do it.

I'm going to blow your mind. My DC played out all evening, I skipped TT rockstars and haven't even looked in their book bags. I did however have a discussion about a science topic at the dinner table with youngest, played a quick silly maths game in the garden, discussed a topic from the week junior with eldest whilst getting her ready for bed and read with both of them. They're exceeding expectations for everything. They had quite an educational evening, yet all the neighbours will have seen is 2 children playing outside for around 3 hours in the sunshine.

Sorry to be a pedant but it's lo not low.

An exclamation: Lo! Like Lo and behold.

I think I'm struggling to believe this is genuine because I don't know anyone who would phrase things the way you have.

My mind isn't blown, sadly, I'm possibly just one of the very few people in the UK whose neighbours don't gather around their car to discuss the school being dreadful whilst their children merrily scoot up and down the road, or loiter, or whatnot.

If you are genuine, there are an awful lot of people on this thread who are saying that essentially you are a judgy person and you should probably mind your business.

@Amethystanddiamonds but you're not complaining you're kids are bottom set & you're not blaming the school!
You said your kids are exceeding expectations so your post is irrelevant. I would imagine the vast majority of kids had an evening similar to yours!

Did you play out a lot as a kid? That’s the only explanation I can find for why you would make so many blatant errors in posts where you’re (y-o-u apostrophe r-e, as in you are) complaining that people should be teaching their (t-h-e-i-r, as in belonging to) kids from home.

I’m not trying to be mean, I do usually despise people who pick apart spelling and grammar mistakes. But you simply cannot think that teaching kids who are already struggling these incorrect forms of writing can be helpful. All you’d be doing is making them struggle even more. They’d honestly get more out of playing in the street - street signs are at least usually correctly spelled.

Well they made it my business by bitching to me about the school & one of dc's teachers. They are out as they also have kids under 5 & in fairness are always out supervising which is how I always get chatting to them ( & twice a day at drop off & collection).
I find it hard to believe you think neighbours with kids in the same class & school don't communicate?!!

That's fair enough.

I dispute that they made it your business but that's semantics.

For what it's worth I do agree with you that parents play a huge part in education. But that's however and whenever they choose to do so. It might be early mornings, it might be weekends, it might be when they get 33 seconds together after the under 5's they supervise on the street go to bed. It might be on a car journey.

My son plays rugby, I listen endlessly to parents who feel their child isn't getting a fair crack of the whip, those parents aren't always at practice, or games but they'll often blame the coaches. I don't judge them in the slightest, I also don't go online sneering (and your tone has been sneering) that the reason they don't get picked is because their parents aren't putting in the extra hours.

@IamAlso4eels
completely disagree with you. It is up to the parents to support with learning at home. The children who are behind are those ones whose parents can’t be bothered!

Bollocks.

Both of my kids have had/have support at home and they insist on being slightly crap at school.