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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be annoyed at kid’s new school hounding me when they’re ill

771 replies

MytosisIs · 20/04/2023 17:34

We recently moved and so DC are attending a new school. First day was supposed to be Monday.

On Sunday they tested positive for COVID. I had it earlier in the week and really suffered.
I tested them as they were coughing, had a high fever and even D&V.

I rang on Monday morning to say they’d be missing the first day. They said they don’t recommended children are tested but said “You’ve done it now though”. I said well I still very much test for COVID because whilst none of us are vulnerable, other people may be and it’s them I’m protecting.

anyway it’s now Thursday and as requested I rang every day and updated them. But really it’s just ‘they’re still I’ll and have COVID’.

They’ve run me back every single day to discuss ’an update on the kids’. I just repeat myself from what I leave on the voicemail.

Yesterday I was on a train (I’m now negative and have been for some time) and they heard the announcement and asked where I was. When I said was on a train they asked if I’d left my kids on their own!! I said “no they’re 6 and 9!” And they asked who was watching them - their dad!!!

Today I emailed to say I have back to back meetings so can’t call but the kids remain to be ill (DH was on a plane at this point). Again they called me, which I missed. So I found a window to call them back and they again were strange and said “They have been ill for so so long now” (5 days!) asking when it started etc.

Im starting to get pissed off. I’m thinking of pulling them out and enrolling them in another school which we were also offered and according to the receptionist still have places.

AIBU to be annoyed at their persistence? Would they rather I sent sick COVID-infected kids into school? In their old school they were great and just said “We will see them when they’re better, keep us updated”.

OP posts:
Jennybeans401 · 23/04/2023 21:54

I think the safeguarding is truly bizarre. They are ill, it seems the opposite of safeguarding to keep hounding parents who then feel pressured to send ill kids in to school.

We all know its just stats the school are worried about. I'm sick to death of it.

Itstarts · 23/04/2023 22:50

Stats don't even come in to it. The children hadn't started at the school so the attendance data wouldn't be recorded. The children's attendance data would have been logged at the previous school for last week.

Wongerw · 23/04/2023 22:58

Jennybeans401 · 23/04/2023 21:54

I think the safeguarding is truly bizarre. They are ill, it seems the opposite of safeguarding to keep hounding parents who then feel pressured to send ill kids in to school.

We all know its just stats the school are worried about. I'm sick to death of it.

Yes this

Wongerw · 23/04/2023 23:00

Stupid idiots blaming parents when it’s often the case that they should look at themselves and the examples they’re setting their kids ha

Walkaround · 23/04/2023 23:05

It’s nothing to do with statistics and everything to do with spectacularly onerous safeguarding obligations. Children who leave one school and do not physically show up at the next one when they are expected to are a safeguarding concern. Or did it escape your notice that a headteacher committed suicide when her school was graded as inadequate by Ofsted solely on the grounds of inadequacies in fulfilling safeguarding obligations? The expectation on schools to make up for inadequacies in other areas of society by being asked to act like policemen, social workers and doctors all rolled into one, are immense. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that children moving away to an area where nobody knows anything about them and then not turning up at the new school after an extended break when possibly no-one but the parents has set eyes on them for 2-3 weeks is a potential safeguarding concern. Schools do not actually enjoy having these expectations heaped upon them - it’s not what most people envisage having to spend their time doing when they get a job in a school.

Littleladygeorge · 23/04/2023 23:35

I’m not reading 31 pages of comments, but I don’t see why the OP is getting so upset about this?! The school are doing their job and as your children are signed up to go to that school, you need to follow their processes. Absolutely no point in getting upset with people staying the obvious on here. You asked a question and you have numerous answers.

Rosula · 24/04/2023 00:13

Walkaround · 23/04/2023 23:05

It’s nothing to do with statistics and everything to do with spectacularly onerous safeguarding obligations. Children who leave one school and do not physically show up at the next one when they are expected to are a safeguarding concern. Or did it escape your notice that a headteacher committed suicide when her school was graded as inadequate by Ofsted solely on the grounds of inadequacies in fulfilling safeguarding obligations? The expectation on schools to make up for inadequacies in other areas of society by being asked to act like policemen, social workers and doctors all rolled into one, are immense. It doesn’t take a genius to work out that children moving away to an area where nobody knows anything about them and then not turning up at the new school after an extended break when possibly no-one but the parents has set eyes on them for 2-3 weeks is a potential safeguarding concern. Schools do not actually enjoy having these expectations heaped upon them - it’s not what most people envisage having to spend their time doing when they get a job in a school.

These children have physically turned up in the school, last term.

Walkaround · 24/04/2023 06:34

Rosula · 24/04/2023 00:13

These children have physically turned up in the school, last term.

Show quote history

?! Last term was 3 weeks ago, presumably before they actually moved to the area as they were still going to the old school, and probably for 30 minutes to have a quick look round. The new school will not get any data on the children from the old school until they turn up in person this term, as they cannot be put on the new school’s roll until they actually turn up as pupils, not as random visitors saying they want a look round.

Rosula · 24/04/2023 09:39

No, it was a preliminary visit and then a full morning in school. You clearly haven't read OP's posts. They must have had data on the children if only for safeguarding reasons. If they were really concerned they could also have asked the old school whether had had any reason to suspect abuse or anything similar.

If these children were from an abusive family who were keeping them out of school to hide abuse, there is no way they would have drawn them to the new school's attention like that. In fact, they probably wouldn't even have enrolled the children yet, and if asked would have said their move had been delayed. The simple fact is that a school can't push parents to bring children with Covid in and then claim to be safeguarding.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/04/2023 09:42

So @MytosisIs did both of your child go to school today after a week off due to covid

Walkaround · 24/04/2023 19:04

Rosula · 24/04/2023 09:39

No, it was a preliminary visit and then a full morning in school. You clearly haven't read OP's posts. They must have had data on the children if only for safeguarding reasons. If they were really concerned they could also have asked the old school whether had had any reason to suspect abuse or anything similar.

If these children were from an abusive family who were keeping them out of school to hide abuse, there is no way they would have drawn them to the new school's attention like that. In fact, they probably wouldn't even have enrolled the children yet, and if asked would have said their move had been delayed. The simple fact is that a school can't push parents to bring children with Covid in and then claim to be safeguarding.

They didn’t say they wanted children with covid brought into school, they clearly just didn’t believe the OP that the children were actually ill and they made that obvious to the OP. They did a home visit, too, just to check.

Walkaround · 24/04/2023 19:04

And, of course, their reaction may have been provoked by talking to the old school.

katepilar · 24/04/2023 19:15

Humanbiology · 22/04/2023 20:58

Do you honestly believe the child would still have a high fever after 4 days????

Show quote history

Do you honestly believe its impossible to have fever for 4+ days????

Walkaround · 24/04/2023 19:15

And a full morning in school means very little - they wouldn’t have got any information whatsoever out of the previous school before the parents had even made an application to move to the new school and would get precious little out of them until they were officially on roll, either, unless there was something concerning enough to pass on that the old school felt justified in sharing it, against data protection rules. So all the school probably knew was what the parents had told them, and school staff were unprofessional enough to make it clear they didn’t think what the parents said was the full story.

Walkaround · 24/04/2023 19:16

*in accordance with data protection, using safeguarding top trumps

Original poster
MytosisIs · 24/04/2023 19:25

One went in, one didn’t.

The one who didn’t go in stayed off for reasons unrelated to COVID but serious enough to stay off.

I actually sent them an email yesterday saying one DC would be off and why, and the other would be in - never heard a peep back today. The DC who did go in had a good day by all accounts.

OP posts:
Walkaround · 24/04/2023 20:01

”In fact, they probably wouldn't even have enrolled the children yet, and if asked would have said their move had been delayed.“ The children are not enrolled until they turn up, they just have a place being held open for them for the time being, which is different. As one has now turned up, that child is now enrolled and the new school will therefore have requested their data from the old school. As the school has not chased up on child 2, it’s likely the school was satisfied by the home visit, which is an unusual thing to do if you are not concerned about safeguarding, as schools are not generally bursting at the seams with available staff with nothing better to do than visit people in their homes for statistical purposes.

Original poster
MytosisIs · 24/04/2023 20:03

On Friday the teacher said that technically, on paper, the kids were ‘missing from education’ because they weren’t on roll yet having not turned up to school. Which I hadn’t realised! And they have to report it if it’s a whole week ‘missing from education’ but as they’d seen the kids they were satisfied

OP posts:
BSB30 · 24/04/2023 20:39

MytosisIs · 24/04/2023 19:25

One went in, one didn’t.

The one who didn’t go in stayed off for reasons unrelated to COVID but serious enough to stay off.

I actually sent them an email yesterday saying one DC would be off and why, and the other would be in - never heard a peep back today. The DC who did go in had a good day by all accounts.

Glad your DC had a good day and hope your other DC is doing ok.

Hopefully the school will ease off a bit now.

Humanbiology · 24/04/2023 21:37

katepilar · 24/04/2023 19:15

Do you honestly believe its impossible to have fever for 4+ days????

Show quote history

I had this discussion 2 days ago from women who used their intelligence and wanted to understand why I had that view. You're too late for the argument move on.

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/04/2023 22:12

What is wrong with one still at home ?

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