To be annoyed at kid’s new school hounding me when they’re ill

[MytosisIs]

We recently moved and so DC are attending a new school. First day was supposed to be Monday.

On Sunday they tested positive for COVID. I had it earlier in the week and really suffered.
I tested them as they were coughing, had a high fever and even D&V.

I rang on Monday morning to say they’d be missing the first day. They said they don’t recommended children are tested but said “You’ve done it now though”. I said well I still very much test for COVID because whilst none of us are vulnerable, other people may be and it’s them I’m protecting.

anyway it’s now Thursday and as requested I rang every day and updated them. But really it’s just ‘they’re still I’ll and have COVID’.

They’ve run me back every single day to discuss ’an update on the kids’. I just repeat myself from what I leave on the voicemail.

Yesterday I was on a train (I’m now negative and have been for some time) and they heard the announcement and asked where I was. When I said was on a train they asked if I’d left my kids on their own!! I said “no they’re 6 and 9!” And they asked who was watching them - their dad!!!

Today I emailed to say I have back to back meetings so can’t call but the kids remain to be ill (DH was on a plane at this point). Again they called me, which I missed. So I found a window to call them back and they again were strange and said “They have been ill for so so long now” (5 days!) asking when it started etc.

Im starting to get pissed off. I’m thinking of pulling them out and enrolling them in another school which we were also offered and according to the receptionist still have places.

AIBU to be annoyed at their persistence? Would they rather I sent sick COVID-infected kids into school? In their old school they were great and just said “We will see them when they’re better, keep us updated”.

Remember that procedures are set by the local education department. So probably requesting a call every day is a requirement from above which safe guards any eventuality in the Borough . It reduces their liability . However it could be applied by school office sensibly without the insinuations the OP mentions. Sounds to me as though the person from school gets a vicarious thrill from being authoritarian. Probably gossips about the situation etc.

As the parent of a vulnerable child who spent yesterday in hospital with covid I am pleased that there are still parents like the OP who are being sensible around infectious conditions in school.

I don’t believe that schools now move in on a new family and immediately flag up safe guarding when there is no history and they’ve barely met . Also assuming previous school is in the same country is there not communication of concerns logged and shared between authorities? I’m wondering if something else is operating here….? I was parent governor at my Dd school and an issue regarding abuse did come up. It had to be dealt with very carefully the school was restricted to flagging with authorities but the process and approach totally held off. Certainly not over zealous nosy phone calls from the school office team. Not when the children haven’t even attended.

No, they probably don't gossip about the situation. They probably just was t to make sure children are safe and accounted for. Their job 🙄

I was very involved in DD primary school and was a parent governor for some time. Also worked in education still do. Everyone gossips everywhere. Of course they do. But not my main point.

Until a. HD who transfers in year to a new school sets foot on the soil, so to speak, then they aren't 'on roll' and the records can't be requested to be transferrrd(usually electronically) from the old school, therefore they have very very little info Re the family to understand the family, background, concerns, support etc. The school might be able to liaise verbally with the old school but what can be communicated verbally when you are not 100% sure who you are speaking to is limited.

As a you describing yourself as avparent governor I am amazed at you labelling these "overzealous nosy phone calls" however as a parent governor you won't be exposed to the full workings of the school, the office or while you may have read the school safeguarding g policy you wo t understand how that is in action on a day to day basis to ensure there is no safeguarding concerns and to ensure every e us alright.
I am pleased you used past tense as a parent gov as you would be a concern with that attitude...

No, not everyone does.

@niugboo We haven't all had Covid. I've never had it because I've been (and still am) very careful about it. People still get very unwell with it, sometimes lasting up to 3 weeks if there are other health conditions at play. Are you saying that OP should have sent her children to school with a temperature and D&V? I can guarantee they would have been sent straight back home. Plus, who does that to their children? It would be cruel.

@mustgetoffmn I agree it is OTT. If I had already told the school that my children were unwell then I probably wouldn't answer any subsequent phone calls as I would be busy looking after my child and/or sleeping if we had a bad night. I've always reported absence by email and thankfully there was no further harassment.

@LadyHag It's not really the OPs problem though if organisations don't communicate with each other. They could have shared systems where they can view records and any concerns.

Yes their job to sensitively hand over any concerns to higher authority. Hence the zealous behaviour. School would be reprimanded by those authorities if they flagged up every parent keeping their child off sick. They have to justify their actions. Also sounds like disrespectful remarks being made eg re who is looking after kids. These questions are not professional and appropriate at this early stage of contact. And remarking that a week is a really long time to have kept them off sick. This sounds like an inexperienced employee out of their depth.

It's just bad timing that they're ill. But at the same time, these kids are technically "out of education", meaning they've left their old school and have yet to appear at the new one (enrollment is officially complete until they actually turn up). Historically, children in this bracket are classed as vulnerable, because there's no one seeing them outside of the family, they're not receiving an education, and no one has any proof they're ill. For all the authorities know, they could be dead in a ditch.
Obviously, they're not, but the school don't know you, remember? They have to cover their backs. Don't be very surprised if you get a home visit if they don't go in on Monday.

*isn't officially complete

Yes, shared info would help, but...
How? GDPR means a data must be stored securely and shared with tjose necessary... What data shari g system that every e could access would cover this? It couldn't be just council wide as there are families that move across the country, or globally, so systems where I fo was shared, what ever area it covered, council wide, post code wide, county wide, chances are it wouldn't cover all necessary options. Plus, a system of shared info means there is a risk of a lot of people having access to pupil data that isn't relevant to them. If you say it should only be shared with the schools that need it.. Then that's the one that is sort of in place already, but as a school.nreds a child to arrive and be their pupil before data can ve shared with them, it's a back to square 1 scenario.

It's one of tjose situations where, generally GDPR is doing it's job, but for scenarios like this, it hindersxtjings somewhat.

The chances are a DSL would be calling the old school to see if someone would be willing to discuss if there are any concerns (they may allude to them without Fri g specific) to guide the new school as to whether they need to step up chasing tjis pupil or wait til the next school day.

I've dealt with a pupil who left one day to the opposite side of the country and we had huge trafficking concerns. As the person with the concern I had to make phone calls to safeguarding at the council, duty and advice, LADO, police at our county and the new county and extract info from the family who were packing and travelling without tipping them off, not because I'm nosey or a gossip, but because it was my job, and I couldn't hand this over to duty & advice or LADO as they are so busy - they instructed school to actions required and we had to take all the action
.
I cannot stress what work goes on behind the scenes of sone of those phone calls that families may think are nosey, over zealous sanctimonious, patronising, out of their depth, not doing their job etc. And if anyobe thinks that is above the role of admin staff, yes it probably is but every service is so fucked over it trickles back into the school to deal. And DSLs are also teachers and in class, or dealing with ongoing safeguarding so they will oversee or approve office staff to do these checks.

Is it shit? Yes, but more shit that it is necessary.

@niugboo What about recovery time? You can no longer have a fever and/or D&V but can feel extremely weak for over a week.

@niugboo I would understand if there were genuine reasons not to but kids can be unwell for that amount of time. It's not beyond the realms of possibility

Luckily, parent governors now have to have safeguarding training so if you were still a governor you would know better.

Not when the children haven’t even attended.

How to spectacularly miss the point. That the children haven’t even attended was the issue…

It's interesting how MMers froth about the word "hysteria" but are happy to use, say, "idiot" as an insult when that refers to a specific level of mental disability (IQ of less than 20). They can accept that the meaning changes with some words but not others it seems.

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MNHQ

@niugboo And you know that how?

Or a family abusing their children over the three weeks, or struggling to buy shoes or uniform and too ashamed to say....ie safeguarding

@MytosisIs you seem very annoyed and defensive about school staff doing their jobs and looking out for your children.

We look out for children especially after holidays and after long periods of absence. I've been involved in Safeguarding cases where children were beaten and kept off school with "chicken pox" so they have time to heal and the bruises fade. A lot of children were abused during lockdown and we kept vulnerable children in school to try and stop the abuse.

The reason behind the daily calls is children have died. A young nursery child died because no one checked on him for a week. His mother had had a seizure and died. No one knew until it was too late.

So what you find annoying, disrespectful, rude or an inconvenience, has saved children's lives.

So are the both well enough to go to school tomorrow