To be annoyed at kid’s new school hounding me when they’re ill

[MytosisIs]

We recently moved and so DC are attending a new school. First day was supposed to be Monday.

On Sunday they tested positive for COVID. I had it earlier in the week and really suffered.
I tested them as they were coughing, had a high fever and even D&V.

I rang on Monday morning to say they’d be missing the first day. They said they don’t recommended children are tested but said “You’ve done it now though”. I said well I still very much test for COVID because whilst none of us are vulnerable, other people may be and it’s them I’m protecting.

anyway it’s now Thursday and as requested I rang every day and updated them. But really it’s just ‘they’re still I’ll and have COVID’.

They’ve run me back every single day to discuss ’an update on the kids’. I just repeat myself from what I leave on the voicemail.

Yesterday I was on a train (I’m now negative and have been for some time) and they heard the announcement and asked where I was. When I said was on a train they asked if I’d left my kids on their own!! I said “no they’re 6 and 9!” And they asked who was watching them - their dad!!!

Today I emailed to say I have back to back meetings so can’t call but the kids remain to be ill (DH was on a plane at this point). Again they called me, which I missed. So I found a window to call them back and they again were strange and said “They have been ill for so so long now” (5 days!) asking when it started etc.

Im starting to get pissed off. I’m thinking of pulling them out and enrolling them in another school which we were also offered and according to the receptionist still have places.

AIBU to be annoyed at their persistence? Would they rather I sent sick COVID-infected kids into school? In their old school they were great and just said “We will see them when they’re better, keep us updated”.

I agree with this and I’m surprised people relinquish control of their children’s health so easily.

Ok

The point is, parents are not legally obliged to register their child with any school. What they are legally required to do is take steps to see that they are provided with an education. It would seem that this parent is being harassed for acting in the best interests of both her children and the wider community.

Children dropping out of school is a big worry in case they are suffering abuse or not being educated so it's right it's checked.

You’re not legally obliged to register with a school, but once you do the school are legally obliged to follow their safeguarding procedures.

If the OP had chosen to home educate, the calls would have come from both the original school and the local authority until the LA was happy that the children were being appropriately home educated and advised the original school that they could remove them from their register. As it is, the original school will be unable to remove the children until the new one confirms that they have arrived in school.

Oh dear. Yes the school's over zealous approach these days annoys me too. I have 2 adult DC and a small one and the difference is drastic- we were recently asked to send proof of GP visit or photo of prescribed meds for a 4yo who is not even compulsory school age after 3 days absence. But, for love of god OP just suck it up. Your posts are really aggressive and OTT. I'd rather the school does this than miss a child at risk

Nobody is suggesting you should relinquish control regarding your children's health.

Don't think most people are saying you're unreasonable for keeping them off school.

But the vast majority of people are utterly flabbergasted that you still don't see why the school have acted the way they have.

Honestly OP you need to let this go now and stop taking the school's view personally.

There is no requirement to test.

Testing is not forbidden.

It’s none of the school’s, or anyone else’s business, whether parents test or not.

Children should be in school provided they are well enough to attend.

A positive COVID test in a child with only a sniffle does not mean they should be off school.

Children with a fever or D&V are not fit to be in school.

What is controversial or difficult to understand about this?

There’s no evidence whatsoever she is “hysterical” (nice misogyny there btw) about COVID. Testing does not equal “hysteria”.

And her DM already has COVID. Which you would know if you had read the OP’s posts and made any effort to understand and assimilate their content.

TheDailyCarbunkle
Are you seriously not getting it? There are 12 pages of posts explaining it to you. What are you not understanding?

I’m not understanding what I should have done differently this week that would have made me not a red flag? Short of sending very sick children into school

@MytosisIs NO ONE is saying you should have done anything different. What EVERYONE is saying is that you just need to suck it up an accept that's how it is without being outraged.

You don't have children in a state school do you. It's not like back in the 90's when you could have your children off when ever they were sick it's different now they add up your absences. My children's school has spoken to me too and even told me that where we live was the first area to prosecute a parent. My child was genuinely ill as well. They don't care it's about there Ofsted and how they as a school manages absences.

@Qilin They can prosecute or fine the parent if the school feels that it's unnecessary for that child to be off.

I do not. It’s 14 years since my DS left his state school.

Are you serious that a school would expect a child with a high temperature or D&V to attend on day 4 regardless? And you’d comply with that?

The world has gone completely mad.

As someone with an actual immunocompromised child I am sick of peolle justifying poor parenting with kids like mine. They aren’t sick from covid after 5 days. It’s nonsense.

Are only women hysterical when it comes to covid? That isn’t my experience.

her DM doesn’t have covid. This is someone expanding her story to try and justify her poor decisions.

Google hysteria. It’s an offensive term.

Children absolutely can be sick for 4+ days. It’s ridiculous to say they can’t. I believe you’re arguing in bad faith now so I’m out.

Do you honestly believe the child would still have a high fever after 4 days????

I have, which is why I haven’t really been replying.

But my point of that particular post is that no one would be telling me that I ‘have’ to send my children in.

It’s absolutely possible for a child with COVID or a chest infection to be vomiting and/or running a fever for 3-4 days and to be feeling too unwell to be in school for a week. I do not believe it is in children’s best interests to be forced to attend school in those circumstances.

It’s not.

Erm, my children’s illnesses are nothing to do with your children. How arrogant. My son has respiratory issues.

If nothing else it’s very amusing watching posters wrap themselves in knots to justify their belief that someone else’s children they’ve never met couldn’t possibly be ill.

@WiseUpJanetWeiss I don't agree with it myself how the system works and how they use home school workers as investigators. The argument is teachers have children as well and they judge you on themselves because they have to work or they will lose their job. They juggle children and working to educate parents children.

I had a funeral to go to and I asked the head could my partner take our child out 1 hour early before home time. The response was if I allow that then it would be like a punch in the face. It was a funeral for crying out loud and I asked I received no compassion. Don't know why I decided to have a 4th child and go through it again.

No, mum had COVID. Otherwise I wouldn’t have asked her to help out.