To be annoyed at kid’s new school hounding me when they’re ill

[MytosisIs]

We recently moved and so DC are attending a new school. First day was supposed to be Monday.

On Sunday they tested positive for COVID. I had it earlier in the week and really suffered.
I tested them as they were coughing, had a high fever and even D&V.

I rang on Monday morning to say they’d be missing the first day. They said they don’t recommended children are tested but said “You’ve done it now though”. I said well I still very much test for COVID because whilst none of us are vulnerable, other people may be and it’s them I’m protecting.

anyway it’s now Thursday and as requested I rang every day and updated them. But really it’s just ‘they’re still I’ll and have COVID’.

They’ve run me back every single day to discuss ’an update on the kids’. I just repeat myself from what I leave on the voicemail.

Yesterday I was on a train (I’m now negative and have been for some time) and they heard the announcement and asked where I was. When I said was on a train they asked if I’d left my kids on their own!! I said “no they’re 6 and 9!” And they asked who was watching them - their dad!!!

Today I emailed to say I have back to back meetings so can’t call but the kids remain to be ill (DH was on a plane at this point). Again they called me, which I missed. So I found a window to call them back and they again were strange and said “They have been ill for so so long now” (5 days!) asking when it started etc.

Im starting to get pissed off. I’m thinking of pulling them out and enrolling them in another school which we were also offered and according to the receptionist still have places.

AIBU to be annoyed at their persistence? Would they rather I sent sick COVID-infected kids into school? In their old school they were great and just said “We will see them when they’re better, keep us updated”.

@backstreetsbackallright - and the advice now is not to test children for covid unless a medical professional tells you to. Why are you willing to follow that advice for other illnesses, but want to buy private tests for covid?

I can see both sides. I would be annoyed on the OP's place and the school have been rude about certain things. However it is their job to check up on children's welfare and this is what they have been doing. This mean they will ask questions and check things that may seem ridiculous to you because you are not abusing your children. The situations raises some particular 'red flags', this doesn't mean you have done anything wrong but it does mean that the school have taken action to investigate. As another poster said, this isn't about you it's about the other children who may be at risk behind closed doors when presented to the school in similar circumstances.

As others have said, the daily calls from the school are for safeguarding reasons to ensure the safety and wellbeing of your children. This is a legal requirement.
Also, since there have been less severe strains of Covid circulating, some schools have amended their Covid policy so that children don't have to test with a LFT each day to prove they still have Covid.

Exactly, it's common for 1 to catch it and be off, the the 2nd to catch it a few days later. Child 1 returns to school and child 2 a few days later.

It is rare for both siblings to have the exact same illness start and end on the same day. 10 times out of 10 that means they're actually on holiday.

Having read all of the OPs updates...I started off thinking you were reasonable ish..I ended up completely and utterly frustrated with you! Just accept that some parents are subversive and will harm their children and your actions, whilst completely understandable, have raised red safeguarding flags which any school should action. The fact that you continued to argue after the FGM example speaks volumes about you and tbh your completely insular way of thinking.

I would think it was a responsible thing not to send poorly children with covid. Do the school not owe a duty of care to all the children in the class what would happen if they were to pass it on to a vulnerable child in their class. I also think it is about attitude I would be offended at the way things have been done, not that they have been and would probably request a meeting with the head to polity discuss what has been said.

Because it can be serious for some people so despite government guidelines (which are usually motivated by money) then I will continue to test to make sure (if I have symptoms).

I also wouldn't be allowed to visit hospital if I had Covid so it's to keep patients safe also.

And so what if parents took their children on holiday during term time! Still doesn’t make them abusers. It’s almost like the school wants this to be the case 🙄

Considering the huge difference in prices, I think I would rather pay the fine.

@backstreetsbackallright yes exactly!

The same applies to influenza and a great many other illnesses that could be tested for, but more often than not are not tested for. Is covid actually more of a problem at the moment than the myriad other illnesses currently circulating, so as to justify special treatment? From a school’s perspective, the far bigger issue at the moment is children with anxiety and depression and significantly higher numbers of children who are persistently absent from school than pre-pandemic - plus more families requiring support due to the cost of living crisis.

And cost of living crisis plus a huge increase in persistent absences does, unfortunately, equal record increases in genuine safeguarding concerns.

I’m shocked that people are giving OP grief for keeping her kids off school with Covid following a worldwide pandemic in which so many people died. Covid can be a lot more than just a case of the sniffles and can kill the vulnerable, just like the flu. What would be the response to a ‘AIBU for sending my two very unwell, Covid-positive children to school because they aren’t physically bed bound by it?’

@Walkaround My opinion is that it could potentially be more serious than other illnesses, yes. It's up to each person if they want to test or not, doesn't affect other people.

That meant to read as 'other common everyday illnesses'.

Just to make it clear, I completely agree with the safeguarding checks - this is simply in relation to those who seem shocked and appalled that OP has kept the kids at home.

Very unwell children should never be sent to school - it’s kind of irrelevant whether the cause of a very bad illness is covid or not. The official advice is not to send your child to school with a fever. No need to blame covid, nor to keep them off once they have no symptoms because they are still testing positive.

Now you’re really making things up! I expect OP chose this school because she thought it the best available but after this week’s annoyance, she’s having second thoughts.

@CecilyP I would also have second thoughts too.

And me too!

@backstreetsbackallright - unfortunately, statistically it affects the whole of society, due to the number of children falling behind academically, emotionally and socially as a result of persistent absence, and Government advice is based on statistics. Keeping your children off school when they actually are well enough in themselves to be in school, but have tested positive for covid, is considered to affect the children themselves, their classmates (as they are held back by the children who can’t keep up and need lots of extra input when they are in), and society as a whole. That may not be the case with supportive, well educated, relatively affluent parents with a nice home environment to offer, but evidently is the case with struggling families living in cold, damp homes, where school is the warmest place their children will be all day, with the most food on offer. His is the consequence of gross inequalities built into society and a failure to spend money on the root causes.

What's that got to do with anything, this kind of thing seems to happen even if you haven't moved house. Seems to happen regularly when children are ill. People getting their knickers in a twist if kids are off school. Weather yiu have moved house or not this sort of thing is excessive.

I am not making things up! I'm saying what I think. You're allowed to speculate without being accused of "making things up" - this isn't Reception.

This would annoy me. I think schools in England seem to be really over zealous. Here you can take your kids out of school for holidays if you like, just tell the school. When the kids are sick I just write the reason why they are off on the app and that is that. I think you can be off 20 days in a year without it being flagged. I really can't imagine the school calling to my door because they have been sick for a week.

If I do know it’s covid then of course you try and protect others. But if my child has chickenpox then the same applies. You are infectious with covid BEFORE symptoms arise (and a lot of people are asymptomatic anyway). It’s a bit like locking the stable door after the horse has bolted.

Speaking as someone with a clinically vulnerable person in my family.