To be annoyed at kid’s new school hounding me when they’re ill

[MytosisIs]

We recently moved and so DC are attending a new school. First day was supposed to be Monday.

On Sunday they tested positive for COVID. I had it earlier in the week and really suffered.
I tested them as they were coughing, had a high fever and even D&V.

I rang on Monday morning to say they’d be missing the first day. They said they don’t recommended children are tested but said “You’ve done it now though”. I said well I still very much test for COVID because whilst none of us are vulnerable, other people may be and it’s them I’m protecting.

anyway it’s now Thursday and as requested I rang every day and updated them. But really it’s just ‘they’re still I’ll and have COVID’.

They’ve run me back every single day to discuss ’an update on the kids’. I just repeat myself from what I leave on the voicemail.

Yesterday I was on a train (I’m now negative and have been for some time) and they heard the announcement and asked where I was. When I said was on a train they asked if I’d left my kids on their own!! I said “no they’re 6 and 9!” And they asked who was watching them - their dad!!!

Today I emailed to say I have back to back meetings so can’t call but the kids remain to be ill (DH was on a plane at this point). Again they called me, which I missed. So I found a window to call them back and they again were strange and said “They have been ill for so so long now” (5 days!) asking when it started etc.

Im starting to get pissed off. I’m thinking of pulling them out and enrolling them in another school which we were also offered and according to the receptionist still have places.

AIBU to be annoyed at their persistence? Would they rather I sent sick COVID-infected kids into school? In their old school they were great and just said “We will see them when they’re better, keep us updated”.

But that's what gets parents backs up and without having justification for that view, could lead to fraught relations between school and parents. Perhaps the school could have been less accusatory and more friendly. They are likely to find out more that way anyway.

@Colourmylifewith I have dealt with abuse, even within my own family but there's having valid concerns and just being paranoid.

Of course! everyone is an abuser these days!
that’s the default rather than thinking that most parents are decent and well meaning and very very few are scummy chavs!

Tough if it gets people's backs up. Protocols are there to save lives, not make friends. The staff will have had regular training. They know what to do and why their doing it.

You are sadly very naive to the atrocities staff in schools are privy to day in, day out.

In the good old days you could take kids away in holiday during term time. We used to go away every year and yes we’d take work with us to do on holiday. It would never be suspected that we weren’t really on holiday or were up to “dodgy things”. But yes sigh those were the days!!!

@Itstarts Not really, like I said, I have experience but not willing to share that on here. All I can say is if it was me and my children, and I was being indirectly accused, I would be moving schools also. Thankfully none of the schools I have been involved with have been like this which tells me it isn't policy but rather schools just thinking they have more authority than they actually do.

There are ways to go about things and this way doesn't even protect kids from abuse, it just harasses the parents.

Exactly! My parents took me out of school for 3 weeks for a holiday. They weren't abusers. It's all become ridiculous. Although considering their paranoia, they still miss the children who are actually being abused and target those families who aren't abusers.

THIS!!!! ABSOLUTELY.
Sad times!

Schools are stupid, a lot of them. Depending on the area too. Most of the staff aren’t like how teachers used to be as these days they’re so desperate to hire they pick anyone. Back in the day they’d actually pick the cream of the crop and the teachers were better and more experienced! My sons teacher can’t even spell! It’s clearly them desperate to hire!

The difference is if you DO know it’s covid, it’s morally wrong to infect others. How do you know that any if the children in your child’s class, don’t have a parent undergoing treatment for cancer?? 🤯

Hmm, and you wonder why people don't want to teach?

To check for abuse of course you can see bruises or injury from a distance or if children look thin, unwashed let alone talk to them....how many abuse cases have there been now where parents have misled professionals I can't believe people are still so unaware.

How is that right? Unless you were going to Australia to visit family who they hadn't seen for 8 years or something? There are 10+ weeks of school holiday which you can use to take vacation in...

What would be good enough?

@Jourdain11 We went to Canada and it was 1995. It was cheaper to go during the time my parents took us. Times were different then.

Why do you assume parents who abuse can't work out the best ways to cover up that abuse....abusers are not all illiterate poor and come from all walks of life. It's as well you don't work in a sector that has to deal with this every day. Many of us read the case reviews not just the high profile ones.

We took my kids a long way away for a wedding on another continent, plus extra holiday time, when they were in infant school. We told the school the truth. They authorised a couple of days for the wedding, the rest was unauthorised, we didn't get fined. We didn't get daily phone calls or have to lie about illness or raise any red flags for abuse, because we told them the truth.

It's disturbing how many people are angered by welfare checks on children. Is it just that it's too upsetting to confront how many children are living lives of pain and fear? That has always been the case. There has always been abuse. There is more effort to tackle it now.

That hopefully won't stop the new school following it up by chatting to the children when they start and keeping a close eye.

Physically seeing the children close up, talking to them and seeing they are in fact well cared for and happy in their environment.

@jannier Considering I could spot abuse when numerous professionals couldn't, I would say that I have a good understanding of what to look out for.

I have not disclosed what sector I work in or what qualifications I have.

both kids off sick for 5 days is unusual and you’ve described nothing which suggests they needed to be off this long.

Including covid.

also if you’re home looking after kids why can’t you answer the phone?

@Bamboux I'm not at all against welfare checks but as I said upthread, there's a fine line between harassment and safeguarding.

You did. You said you couldn’t answer the phone because back to back meetings and dad on a plane.

Before you have a go at her you should at least do her the courtesy of reading her replies to this thread. Otherwise you look a bit silly.

YANBU OP. Thank you for keeping them home with covid. I am astounded at the amount of people who think it would be ok to send them in or that school staff should be doing home visits indoors in a covid positive household.

We need better covid prevention in schools generally. I feel like I'm in the upside down that parents have been persuaded that an infection that is killing hundreds a week still in the UK, can cause organ damage, impact on immune systems and cause long covid is no biggie for kids or the people they pass it onto. Is no one sick of being sick all the time yet? If it's not covid, it's other things they're picking up because their immunity is low following covid infections. And the really annoying thing is, most of it is preventable with some simple steps like kids staying home when they're sick, ventilation/filtration in classrooms, adults wearing masks etc. But no, we're just expected to suck it up, repeatedly.

Thank you OP for doing the right thing and sorry the school gave you a hard time. I hope they're better soon and settle well into their new school.