To be annoyed at kid’s new school hounding me when they’re ill

[MytosisIs]

We recently moved and so DC are attending a new school. First day was supposed to be Monday.

On Sunday they tested positive for COVID. I had it earlier in the week and really suffered.
I tested them as they were coughing, had a high fever and even D&V.

I rang on Monday morning to say they’d be missing the first day. They said they don’t recommended children are tested but said “You’ve done it now though”. I said well I still very much test for COVID because whilst none of us are vulnerable, other people may be and it’s them I’m protecting.

anyway it’s now Thursday and as requested I rang every day and updated them. But really it’s just ‘they’re still I’ll and have COVID’.

They’ve run me back every single day to discuss ’an update on the kids’. I just repeat myself from what I leave on the voicemail.

Yesterday I was on a train (I’m now negative and have been for some time) and they heard the announcement and asked where I was. When I said was on a train they asked if I’d left my kids on their own!! I said “no they’re 6 and 9!” And they asked who was watching them - their dad!!!

Today I emailed to say I have back to back meetings so can’t call but the kids remain to be ill (DH was on a plane at this point). Again they called me, which I missed. So I found a window to call them back and they again were strange and said “They have been ill for so so long now” (5 days!) asking when it started etc.

Im starting to get pissed off. I’m thinking of pulling them out and enrolling them in another school which we were also offered and according to the receptionist still have places.

AIBU to be annoyed at their persistence? Would they rather I sent sick COVID-infected kids into school? In their old school they were great and just said “We will see them when they’re better, keep us updated”.

So they saw the kids, they fulfilled their safeguarding obligation for now. If they continue not to see them, they'll come to your home again and may insist on more than a wave.
Please remember that these school staff are people too. They will have been dreading having to visit, what an awkward thing to have to do, right? But they know full well the potential consequences of they don't.
You have to not take this personally, it isn't about you.

That’s a good school. They actually keep on top of situations that could be problematic even when it’s uncomfortable.

Do you feel better about their position now?

I live in a very quaint, very exclusive rural farming village. School population of 58 (5-11 year olds). This would 100% be the protocol here for safeguarding, including a visit if anyone registered their children at the school and then neither child arrived for a week due to illness. It has absolutely nothing to do with type of area or background.

The most hideous abuse of children happens in all communities. I sat through another 8hrs of harrowing information about it yesterday (I’m safeguarding lead for adults but the training is delivered for adults & children). My close friend is a police officer in child protection, if you knew what she did you wouldn’t sleep at night. And yet children are still harmed and still die because people are in complete denial about what can and does happen.

Thank you for that. I also thought it was ridiculous when that poster kept suggesting there was no child abuse in her lovely safe area. People are just so wilfully ignorant of what goes on behind closed doors.

It’s not a safeguarding thing, they’re worried about their attendance figures, on which the school is judged…,

Did the school visitor ask to come in?

Why didn't the children come to the door to see them?

I totally agree with you, it is daft, and wrapped up as some safeguarding thing. They wouldnt get to my home either. But then, I live outside Britain, and think this is really odd. But from the amount of threads I have read about this, it seems quite common in the UK.

They have covid

I didn't ask why they didn't come into close contact. You can't catch covid standing on a doorstep outside from someone standing indoors 10 metres away.

If I was stood 10 metres away from my doorstep I would be stood in the back yard.

I'm also glad you've kept them off school with covid. You're a good mother.

5 metres then. I was making the point that the op did in fact not let them into her home, and that the school have seen the children only 'waving through a window'.

It's confirmed that they're there and alive and not on holiday, but it's not exactly a thorough safeguarding check.

They can't be that ill if they are able to wave from the window. They still want your children in school regardless according to them it's over. It only affects adults now haven't you heard?

Schools are very strict with attendance and they will not think twice about taking you to court. As they see it you are holding back your children over a sniffle or a cough.

"For children and young people aged 18 and under who test positive for COVID-19, the advice is to try to stay at home and avoid contact with other people for three days."

This is day 4 they have a right to do a house check. I realise I have contradicted myself with my last post.

Is this normal in UK schools?

The legal obligation to safeguard their pupils, is standard in UK schools. No surprise every school is now ultra-careful to follow the law to the exact letter.

This morning's BBC news was about a Head Tracher who committed suicide because her school had undergone Ofsted inspection, which failed it on ONE issue, "safeguarding".

They can't be that ill if they are able to wave from the window. They still want your children in school regardless according to them it's over. It only affects adults now haven't you heard?

OP can't win, can she? You think they're not ill enough to be home if they can wave from their bedroom window? Obviously, in your world, there is no middle ground between being bedridden and fit enough for school. Whilst other posters think OP should have got them up to show them off to the visitor from a 5 meter distance, so the visitor could see that they were indeed sick but not abused. And COVID does affect children and OP has detailed their symptoms in one of her early posts.

At this stage it’s “thorough” enough. They have seen the children looking content, they have seen the parent looking capable of caring for her children and if they return to school next week that will be the end if it.

I’ve been on a home visit where the parent opened the door so drunk she thought we were delivering her more booze. Fortunately the child was not physically harmed but was living in neglect. Social services subsequently worked with the family

I would think it very weird that children were just waving through the window. If they're ill, they wouldn't be able to get up. If they're bed-ridden, then they could come to the door. The whole thing is odd. My children did not go to school with high temperatures or with D&V (or for 48 hours after the last episode - I was very strict about this one). Otherwise, they went to school because there was no reason for them not to.

If they're not bed-ridden, that should say!

People can feel absolutely awful and still manage to wave through a window. It's not either/or. The same is the case for children.

I think some of these posts have become overwhelmingly critical and nit picking.

I don't blame the op at all for feeling annoyed at the constant phoning, even knowing now about safeguarding rules. She's being a great mum keeping her kids off when they are sick. I've had two friends both who had covid for two weeks and were very unwell with it.

In the OP's situation - where there was any hint of being suspected of failing to safeguard my own children - I would be making every possible effort to co-operate with the school and I'd have invited the staff member into my Plague house to speak with my children. The OP is playing at awkward buggers because she's pissed off with the school, and that's a loser's game.

OP has contacted the school every day, and answered the phone every day except once when she was working and her DM was looking after the children. She has opened the door to the school. She has had her children appear at the window to show they are safe but sick.

Exactly how is that a loser’s game?

She’s pissed off that the school has been high handed with her and told her off for COVID testing her children who are sick with COVID symptoms when that’s absolutely none of their business, and has harassed her daily despite her having phoned in every day. The school has safeguarding policies (although I can’t see what repeated phoning is actually doing to enhance safeguarding) but they are not entitled to treat her disrespectfully.

@jannier Does the school do checks throughout the 6 weeks summer holidays for safeguarding purposes? Anything can happen during those 6 weeks.

@Thepeopleversuswork I agree with you. There does seem to be hysteria surrounding safeguarding now. I understand it is good to look out for signs of abuse and to take action accordingly but having a week off school is not grounds to suspect a parent is abusive. The medicine form incident you shared is a prime example. I also believe that schools sometimes overstep their authority and fail to respect people's basic human right of respect for private and family life under Article 8 Human Rights Act 1998. Some schools cross the line into harassment and it appears to be the case here which is why OP is understandably irritated.

@Putyourdamnshoeson They can insist on more than a wave but OP is under no obligation at all to let them in her home if she feels uncomfortable with that. People can't bully their way into your house under the guise of safeguarding. They have no authority to do so. Same with social workers unless there was an immediate risk of harm to the child, then the Police would need to be involved. The sensible thing to do in this situation would be to let this week go by and see what next week brings. Plenty of people are unwell for over a week with Covid, it's not out of the realms of possibility.

I'm actually shocked at the selfishness of some on here saying to just send your child to school while they have Covid. What about other people who could potentially get very unwell with it? What if you pass it onto to someone who lives with someone who it could be fatal if they caught it? OP is doing the morally right thing keeping them at home until they are well in addition to it being the right thing for her children. It would be cruel and far more abusive to force them to school whilst unwell.

You don’t actually tell parents to give Calpol do you? Are you qualified to do that?

If they're ill, they wouldn't be able to get up.

Seriously, you've never been too ill to go to work except when you've been so ill your can't get up? How do you function as a mum?