To be annoyed at kid’s new school hounding me when they’re ill

[MytosisIs]

We recently moved and so DC are attending a new school. First day was supposed to be Monday.

On Sunday they tested positive for COVID. I had it earlier in the week and really suffered.
I tested them as they were coughing, had a high fever and even D&V.

I rang on Monday morning to say they’d be missing the first day. They said they don’t recommended children are tested but said “You’ve done it now though”. I said well I still very much test for COVID because whilst none of us are vulnerable, other people may be and it’s them I’m protecting.

anyway it’s now Thursday and as requested I rang every day and updated them. But really it’s just ‘they’re still I’ll and have COVID’.

They’ve run me back every single day to discuss ’an update on the kids’. I just repeat myself from what I leave on the voicemail.

Yesterday I was on a train (I’m now negative and have been for some time) and they heard the announcement and asked where I was. When I said was on a train they asked if I’d left my kids on their own!! I said “no they’re 6 and 9!” And they asked who was watching them - their dad!!!

Today I emailed to say I have back to back meetings so can’t call but the kids remain to be ill (DH was on a plane at this point). Again they called me, which I missed. So I found a window to call them back and they again were strange and said “They have been ill for so so long now” (5 days!) asking when it started etc.

Im starting to get pissed off. I’m thinking of pulling them out and enrolling them in another school which we were also offered and according to the receptionist still have places.

AIBU to be annoyed at their persistence? Would they rather I sent sick COVID-infected kids into school? In their old school they were great and just said “We will see them when they’re better, keep us updated”.

And breathe! X

That's so patronising ...,

That wasn’t my experience when my two had Covid! My 3 year old still had a temperature of 39+ four days in, it only subsided on the fifth day. She and her brother also both had rampant diarrhoea, coughs and conjunctivitis.

And yes, I did ring the GP, who didn’t find this in any way unusual.

It’s a safe guarding issue when a child is absent from school for a number of days and the parent is being rude and defensive. Particularly when they don’t know you or the children.

Sounds like a great school that takes child safety seriously.

Op they are checking in due to safeguarding, I know it’s annoying and you feel you’re being questioned but they don’t know you. They aren’t lumping you in with ‘those parents’ they just don’t know you and are making sure the story doesn’t change by following up phone calls. They will also know this is a really tricky time with two sick children so when you say you’re working they just want tk know the children are well looked after and if you needed help then they would put you in contact with people who can support you.

I know it’s been a lot for you this week and you must be tired after working and caring for two unwell children. Hopefully in time you will see thag the school doing this is actually really great, they are protecting children and making sure no one falls between the cracks. They aren’t judging you, it’s just very unusual for two children to miss their first week in a new school. If they had previously attended this school then you may not have had as many phone calls. If you decide to pull the children from this school and transfer to another school, then this current school may send notes to say that children never attended and are concerned.

I know it’s hard but try not take it personally, they are just following the safe guarding policy.

This is wierd and intrusive and I’d have stopped replying by now and insisted they communicate by Email only. Who do they think they are. If an employer did this it would be absolutely harassment! Also does their secretary not have enough to do?? I’d deffo be considering the other school. Sod that every time they’re ill. They’re not safeguarding here they’re harassing - not like they know you already and you’ve had 4 years of problems with social services at the school etc etc, they’re just being very rude and intrusive and they’ve got zero authority to police your life. Hope they feel better soon! X

And you know exactly how every single person who has had covid recently has felt with it then?

My dd had it for the first time we thing. She is a healthy 21y. Felt really poorly, similar feelings to having a heavy flu bug. Ended up with a couple of days in bed, felt rubbish for a few days after, I had it not long after - felt rubbish for nearly a week. Was not as bad as first time I had it ore vaccine but worse than when I had it the year before this dose. Was off work for a week and felt very lethargic and washed out for days after. Dh probably had it (he didn't test) and was poorly over the weekend and then really tired and achy for a few days after.

Couple of colleagues have had it recently and all felt really washed out with it and needed time off work. All vaccinated.
Friend of friend had it recently, unvaccinated, and was really poorly. His eldest was pretty poorly too but the youngest and his wife were both fine with it.

It seems to me like it's still hitting some people hard, and some people more mildly.

FWIW OP I completely get where you're coming from and would feel the same way. Like you've already said multiple times you can see the safe guarding aspect but YANBU to be annoyed by it. I would also keep my children home from school, covid or not, they're poorly.
I don't get all the pile on and I completely understood all of your posts, DH plane included 🙃

For the working mother of two ill children you have an awful amount of time on your hands to be able to reply to so many posters.

I had terrible school attendance. My mother would ring and say I was ill. what that usually meant was that that time the bruises weren’t covered by my uniform.

I deal with school attendance now and wish the staff at my schools had received the sort of training we get now…….

The school honestly has the interests of the children as their main objective. If you bar them from seeing the children if they visit the home then it COULD result in a social welfare check. Think about the outcry when an abused child dies and all the “why didn’t the school do anything?” type headlines……. We always have to consider (not assume but consider) the worst case scenario.

This is a hilarious response. It comes across so snarky and judgemental while also meaning absolutely nothing. Are you implying that the OP is lying about having children? Or working? Or what?

😂 multipack boxes cost about £1 per test

Oh dear me, OP. You should be pleased that you have picked a great school that knows exactly what it's doing regarding safeguarding children. This isn't your usual attendance situation of kids and families that the school knows well, where the child is off sick. These are NEW children at a new school where the family background isn't known. I am school admin. I HAVE to "hound" parents if their child arriving partway through the year does not turn up for their first day at our school. The old school rings us to check they have arrived at school for their first day because until they arrive with us the child remains the responsibility of the old school. I then have to tell them no, the child hasn't been seen. The child HAS to remain on the roll of their previous school until they have arrived AND ATTENDED our school. If a few days go by the local authority has to be informed as the child is classed as a child missing education. There is a particular form that has to be filled in for my LA.

It may seem OTT to you but I can assure you that these onerous and time-consuming procedures have only come about because of various safeguarding cases where children at risk of harm have slipped through the net and been put at risk because of multiple school moves. If you know your child has COVID and has been hit hard by it you have nothing to worry about. Just have a good old chat to the school staff who ring you about what a nuisance COVID is still being. THey are absolutely right in informing you that no routine testing for COVID for children is recommended anymore. In reality, there will be many children attending school with v mild COVID symptoms whose parents have no idea that their child is positive because there is no routine testing. If they happen to test them out of curiosity (or because they have vulnerable family members maybe) and they are positive, even then they are just advised to try and avoid contauct with other people for 3 days. They can come into school if they feel well enough after that but in my experience, most parents are no longer testing their children and there WILL be COVID around in schools, just like there are other respiratory infections around in schools. And daily life goes on.

Please don't pull your child out of school. The school sounds superb and although it maybe doesn't feel like this right now as you are feeling a bit got at, you are lucky to have such on the ball staff who really care about their pupils. The reason their old school would have just said "we'll see them when they get better" is because they know you as a family. You are not known to the new school. Anything could be going on. The school has a statutory duty to ensure that it is just COVID so try and work with them on this. Build that relationship with them and please try to be less defensive. They are looking out for your child (and doing a great job of it) and that can only be a good thing.

If you changed now in a strop to another school they would probably behave similarly. They don't know you, they don't know your child. THey would have to do the same checks.

That parent who keeps a sick child off?

its weird because MN is up in arms when their kids their kids catch an illness off a sick child. But also keeping sick children off is a red flag?

Pretty sure social services are too busy to see children who change schools and show up

What are you talking about? ANY decent school, oversubscribed or not, in an area with available school places or not, due for an Ofsted or not, will be on the ball about attendance.

I have rang them each morning and left a voicemail, or emailed. I have said this in my OP.

There is no app that I’m aware of.

They have laid eyes on them

I wish we could pin this to the top of the thread :)

What red flags?

My children are sick.

Ive called up every day to say they’re still sick.

Where’s the red flag?

Your children left their old school and haven’t appeared at the new one.

That’s the red flag.

As uncomfortable and annoying as that is for you it is a red flag.

Are you seriously not getting it? There are 12 pages of posts explaining it to you. What are you not understanding?

Really?? That's your contribution to this.

Why do people post such snide comments?

Well they will have heard my work colleagues and my slightly irritated tone after being disturbed at work yet again to yet again repeat myself from what I said that morning

Yes I can understand the school being concerned. They haven’t turned up. Plus a week off for both kids is unusual.