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Original poster

to not want my family to know how much I paid for my house?

276 replies

lightlyseasoned12938712 · 19/04/2023 17:25

Thanks to some good luck when I was younger, I have quite a lot of money saved up. But I've never made this obvious to people I know, partly because some of my family can be quite problematic when it comes to money. I really just don't want any of the attention that I know comes from wealth, so although I've never lied, I've also never done anything that would make my financial situation clear (car, clothes, travel, etc)

I don't think this is going to be possible any more - I've just bought my first house, and although it's not large, it was quite expensive due to the area. I'm happy for people to know I own a house (would prefer they didn't though), but I'd really really like people to think it was cheaper than was the case

Does anyone have any clever suggestions to hide or downplay this purchase? I'm dreading the questions and changes in attitude when I tell people otherwise!!

OP posts:
SpringHasSprungAtLast · 19/04/2023 18:56

I feel your pain. My ex has just this very week sent me photographs of the house that I'm moving to, to get away from him. I hate that he is stalking me like this! But like others have said it is in the public domain, so I just have to suck it up (and never invite him inside).

TerfIngOnTheBeach · 19/04/2023 18:58

Is there actually a way you can prevent it being published? I I am a nosey cow, I’ll own it, but a couple of house I have been interested in have sold and I have never been able to find out the price. Have they hidden it? Or was it land registry errors (or Rightmove / zoopla)

lightlypoached · 19/04/2023 18:59

"How did you afford such an expensive house?"

You:"I have my ways". <Taps side of nose>.

Say no more. Smile

Mammothtask · 19/04/2023 18:59

They’ll be able to see how much it is anyway by looking it up online

Thighdentitycrisis · 19/04/2023 18:59

try to change your outlook on hiding it. Why live your life effectively lying to your family ?

you seem to o be allowing their difficult behaviour around money influence your decision to be open and honest

What have you got to lose ?

Hotvimto3 · 19/04/2023 19:00

Sod them. You enjoy your lovely house its nothing to do with them x

Pearfacebananapoop · 19/04/2023 19:01

Ask your solicitor if they know a way to get the house price hidden. My solicitor used to do it as a matter of course but I'm not sure you still can.

SafariAnimal · 19/04/2023 19:03

OhSmitty · 19/04/2023 17:32

It takes around 3 months after the sale before it appears on the land registry and is then added to Rightmove and Zoopla sold prices. Sorry OP. I only know because I'm a nosy bastard and love to know if houses were sold for what they were on the market for.

@lightlyseasoned12938712 If it helps, I bought a house in 2021 and the solicitors don’t expect registration of the sale to be fully completed with the Land Registry until this September as the backlog is THAT big! So you have a while before you need to worry!

Goldbar · 19/04/2023 19:04

If they are rude enough to mention it, I would grimace and say "Yes, top of the budget! I'll need to watch the pennies going forward".

Unsure33 · 19/04/2023 19:12

I would start by saying I don’t feel comfortable talking about my finances. Repeat repeat . If they still persevere just say I think you are actually being quite rude now , it’s very common and crass to be nosey about my personal business.

then enjoy your new house and everything you buy for it .

JudgeRudy · 19/04/2023 19:20

NewIdeasToday · 19/04/2023 17:30

A quick google will show the price of houses in an area. And the specific price paid for a house can be googled a certain time after purchase. So if your family are interested there is nothing you can do to hide this information.

I’d suggest you just address this matter with confidence. If people do say anything don’t be apologetic. Just say you’re pleased that your hard work since you were young has paid off.

If you want to, you could mention that the mortgage payments are quite high leaving less disposable income (to see off requests for loans). But to be honest you’d probably be best not to mention your financial position as sharing some info may just suggest to family members that the topic is up for discussion.

Yes, own it but maybe drop a few cliches that indicate a huge mortgage
"Yes, I'm delighted with my home, just a shame about the mortgage " or " well I now own a house...or does the house now own me. Ha ha"
If someone is blunt then same back at em! Say 'blimey X, inquisition here. Why do you need to know?'

Highdaysandholidays1 · 19/04/2023 19:22

I think it is you really that has the problem, just ignore them. Are you never going to buy a nice outfit, or a nice car or go on holiday in case someone thinks something about money.

The more you just behave normally, and ignore/put boundaries around any cheekiness, the easier this is all going to be. People earn different amounts and are richer/poorer, get over it! They will have to too.

Lifeomars · 19/04/2023 19:31

as many others have said it will turn up on Land Registry site about 3 months after the sale, you do have to pay to view the info. I did this with the house next door to me because it was bought by a dodgy landlord who has turned it into an unofficial HMO and my life is now a misery, but that's a whole other story.

TollgateDebs · 19/04/2023 19:38

Tell them you have an horrific mortgage and bills to match, but you are going to live on pasta, so you'll manage!

daisymoonlight · 19/04/2023 19:38

I feel sad that you’re allowing them to ruin this for you! Enjoy it- you’ve done so well to save for this, don’t let negative jealous people bring you down! In life you will always find someone who is eaten up with bitterness so let them marinate in their own misery, they have made their negative bed so let them lie in it.

Id just shrug it off as a joke like PP have said about “yeah I’ll probably finally pay it off when I’m 80 haha!”. That’s it, no need to explain any further, it’s none of their bloody business. If they keep on just say “I’m curious why this bothers you so much- plenty of people buy houses, it’s a very common thing to do, hardly unusual” etc The main thing is - do not let them live in your head or affect your joy. Enjoy your house!

PleaseJustText · 19/04/2023 19:38

Can you pretend you rent? They can see house price but probably won't pay £3 to check you own it.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/04/2023 19:46

Assume your are mortgage free or have a small one depending on your wealth

If asked I would just say

Saved hard for a deposit and have a 40yr interest free mortgage and life insurance will pay it off in years to come when I die

IncompleteSenten · 19/04/2023 19:46

Are you concerned they'll come with their begging bowl? Complain about how your massive mortgage is leaving you skint. That should keep them off your back.

Moraxella · 19/04/2023 19:48

You can get the photos hidden from rightmove so they would have to know the house no or name to get the sale value. Might cloud the discovery a bit?

mnahmnah · 19/04/2023 19:52

If you don’t want them to know you have more money, you could make it clear that you have poured every penny ever saved into it and taken a big mortgage. At least then they won’t think you have more money for them to want from you and you have made it clear it was difficult for you to do

Jellybebe · 19/04/2023 19:54

OhSmitty · 19/04/2023 17:32

It takes around 3 months after the sale before it appears on the land registry and is then added to Rightmove and Zoopla sold prices. Sorry OP. I only know because I'm a nosy bastard and love to know if houses were sold for what they were on the market for.

Me too Blush

Lulaloo · 19/04/2023 19:56

We have a nice home on an older estate. I always say that I rent, lots of houses are rented and no one can be sure.
Many years ago a school mum went OTT and was horrified that I told people that we rented and couldn’t understand why anyone would want do that 🤷🏼‍♀️. She only knew as we lived on the same estate and so knew we purchased it.
It's not your problem it is theirs.

KnittingNeedles · 19/04/2023 20:03

Oh OP I know what you mean - we were at a close relative's funeral last week and another relative kept making snide little comments about "posh" folks, and people who "can't hide the money" and "think they're better". It comes from a place of insecurity/jealousy as said relative got pregnant at 16, didn;t finish her education and has constantly struggled for money, whereas my sibling and I went to Uni and live comfortably.

The old saying is that you can choose your friends but not your family. I'd be distancing myself from someone so mean and nasty.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 19/04/2023 20:04

TheYearOfSmallThings · 19/04/2023 17:46

Yes, just say you ploughed all your savings I to the deposit and are mortgaged up to your eyebrows for the rest, so you will be broke for the foreseeable future.

I would say this, and then change the subject. It's private, just like your salary and the boil on your bum. Just because it's online doesn't mean you're forced to discuss it. I've discussed salary before when I was pushed into a corner but really wish I'd had the courage to tell the person to mind their own business. Hopefully it won't come to that for you, but don't be afraid to say "I prefer to keep it private" if you have to, if they refuse to change the subject. Oh, and congratulations!

FMLWTF · 19/04/2023 20:11

I hate that people can find out exactly what you paid for your house. I don’t understand why it’s on the public record. It’s very personal information.