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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to not want my family to know how much I paid for my house?

276 replies

lightlyseasoned12938712 · 19/04/2023 17:25

Thanks to some good luck when I was younger, I have quite a lot of money saved up. But I've never made this obvious to people I know, partly because some of my family can be quite problematic when it comes to money. I really just don't want any of the attention that I know comes from wealth, so although I've never lied, I've also never done anything that would make my financial situation clear (car, clothes, travel, etc)

I don't think this is going to be possible any more - I've just bought my first house, and although it's not large, it was quite expensive due to the area. I'm happy for people to know I own a house (would prefer they didn't though), but I'd really really like people to think it was cheaper than was the case

Does anyone have any clever suggestions to hide or downplay this purchase? I'm dreading the questions and changes in attitude when I tell people otherwise!!

OP posts:
ejbaxa · 19/04/2023 18:36

They can look it up but you can just say you have a very large mortgage that stresses you so don’t want to talk about it

CantFindTheBeat · 19/04/2023 18:38

You can say you rent it from an investor who's just bought it, OP?

Sold prices are public access. Names of owners aren't.

Starseeking · 19/04/2023 18:41

For properties purchased since 1995, Land Registry charges £3 for people to download:

  • Name of owner
  • Price of purchase
  • Name of mortgage company (who hold charge over the property)

Your nosy friends/family can look into whatever they want; if I was you'd I'd brush them off and not give it any more head space.

polkaday · 19/04/2023 18:41

I dont think you've had any helpful replies yet OP? @lightlyseasoned12938712

I'm not in a dissimilar position (only I didn't have any luck per se, just hard graft for years and years). I earn more than my lifestyle would have you believe. I'd rather people not know how much my house cost but I'm well aware they can look it up online. I try to swerve conversation away if it comes up.

RedHelenB · 19/04/2023 18:42

lightlyseasoned12938712 · 19/04/2023 17:48

@VisionsOfSplendour It's around 600K, does that help?

@CremeEggThief it's human nature that worries me - e.g. I have a difficult relative who can be quite unpleasant. Once out of jealousy she tried to wreck a friend's career through official complaints, simply because she disliked this person's partner at the time. She in particular has been quite intense about where I'm going to be living, it really worries me!

Why are you letting yourself be bullied?I wouldn't tell lies ( nor would I humble brag) . Just answer any questions honestly or if you don't want to do that then tell them that.

5128gap · 19/04/2023 18:44

I'm sorry OP, but that's a terrible way to live. You have wealth that you're not enjoying because you want to keep it secret? The trouble with the big mortgage fib is you'll have to live frugally for years to make it seem believable. And honestly, what's the point of being well off if you have to live like you're poor? I'd tell them you'd had a modest lottery win/premium bond/win on the horses, nothing life changing but enough for the house and a few nice things.

Skybluepinky · 19/04/2023 18:44

No point they can look it up and u’ll look stupid, don’t overthink it they probably won’t be interested.

polkaday · 19/04/2023 18:44

SleepingStandingUp · 19/04/2023 18:11

Sorry. But this is a miserable way to live.
You don't travel, have a nice car or clothes etc in case people know you're wealthy?

Just tell anyone who asks you've got a mortgage and paid a tiny deposit.

Not everyone wants to travel/ drive a nice car/ wear nice clothes. Not saying I don't but lots of people dont? Different things make different people happy.

Twiglets1 · 19/04/2023 18:45

I don’t think you can hide the price. I tried to as didn’t want to show off in front of work colleagues- some are really struggling.
They found the house I was buying online, I just had to shrug and say Yup that’s the one 🤷🏼‍♀️

SweetSakura · 19/04/2023 18:46

Twiglets1 · 19/04/2023 18:45

I don’t think you can hide the price. I tried to as didn’t want to show off in front of work colleagues- some are really struggling.
They found the house I was buying online, I just had to shrug and say Yup that’s the one 🤷🏼‍♀️

Mine dont even know my address....

seratoninmoonbeams · 19/04/2023 18:48

@sunnydayys 😆😆😆 good idea

RaininSummer · 19/04/2023 18:49

Tell them you have a huge mortgage.

Moorwoodsriver · 19/04/2023 18:49

If you do save you have a large mortgage surely they are just going to move on to trying to guess the salary that obtained such a mortgage and get hung up on that instead .

Sadly OP I think you are just going to have to brazen it out

UpsyDaisy352 · 19/04/2023 18:49

Maybe just say you had saved up a good deposit and found a really good mortgage lender.

If someone continues to push because they’ve seen the sold price online, you have 2 options. Lie and say it must have been a typo because you didn’t pay as much, or push back and ask why exactly they wanted to know how much of your money you paid. Turning things around on people usually shuts them down quickly - especially if you ask how much they spent on something personal.

3luckystars · 19/04/2023 18:50

Just say you are in that website only fans. One woman in Take a Break is making 50k a month on it.

UpsyDaisy352 · 19/04/2023 18:50

3luckystars · 19/04/2023 18:50

Just say you are in that website only fans. One woman in Take a Break is making 50k a month on it.

This is funny, I say go for this and enjoy the reactions you’d get!!

also 50k a MONTH?! I better go hit the gym and buy a webcam 😂😂😂

Exhausteddog · 19/04/2023 18:51

I know of a couple of houses near where I live that don't come up on rm records. I know they sold because at least one was renovated and for sale again

fdgdfgdfgdfg · 19/04/2023 18:52

The simplest option is to just let them know you've ploughed everything into the house.

Make out like you've got no savings left, a huge mortgage that most of your income goes into every month.

It may be true, it may not, but it means you can plead poverty to them if they come knocking for a loan

SurferRona · 19/04/2023 18:52

40 year mortgage through an ahem "great" broker. If you have kids, tell em you're passing the mortgage onto them when they're of age 😁

1FootInTheRave · 19/04/2023 18:53

50k per month on only fans?!

Wonder if folk will pay me to keep my kit on?

Baabaa75 · 19/04/2023 18:54

They can look up how much it sold for but not who it sold to, just tell people you rent 🤷

OKFinally · 19/04/2023 18:54

Huge mortgage is the way to go and if they persist just say what I eventually snarled at a school mum, it is amazing isn't it, the harder we work the luckier we get.

Your DH is home every evening, mine works in the banking sector in Europe, he either leaves home at 4.00 on a Monday and comes home on a Thursday or Friday or he is up in the city and leaves at 6.30 and gets home at 7.30.

Do you want to swap ?

She stalked off, and never spoke to me again. Result. 😂

bellocchild · 19/04/2023 18:54

The response: 'Yes, it's been a bit of stretch, but I think it will be worth it!" should do it, and see off scroungers. Always emphasise the heavy burden of the mortgage...

CoozudBoyuPuak · 19/04/2023 18:54

Although (as mentioned dozens of times by pp) the actual sold price is public domain, the information about how much of that comes from mortgage, or rent-to-buy arrangements, vs owning outright, is all private. So you can certainly mislead your family about how hefty your mortgage payments are going to be.

crazyaboutcats · 19/04/2023 18:56

I would go the opposite and play it up

Say it was incredably expensive and you are up to your eye balls in debt and have absoultly no money.