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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my family to know how much I paid for my house?

276 replies

lightlyseasoned12938712 · 19/04/2023 17:25

Thanks to some good luck when I was younger, I have quite a lot of money saved up. But I've never made this obvious to people I know, partly because some of my family can be quite problematic when it comes to money. I really just don't want any of the attention that I know comes from wealth, so although I've never lied, I've also never done anything that would make my financial situation clear (car, clothes, travel, etc)

I don't think this is going to be possible any more - I've just bought my first house, and although it's not large, it was quite expensive due to the area. I'm happy for people to know I own a house (would prefer they didn't though), but I'd really really like people to think it was cheaper than was the case

Does anyone have any clever suggestions to hide or downplay this purchase? I'm dreading the questions and changes in attitude when I tell people otherwise!!

OP posts:
DiscoBeat · 23/04/2023 19:40

They'll just go on Rightmove anyway.

Elaina87 · 23/04/2023 19:51

Just say you've been saving for years and had a decent deposit to put down, but obviously that it now all tied up in the house.

paulthepython · 23/04/2023 20:05

Lol, I agree with everyone else, house prices are easy to find out and any lie would look rediculous. A more sensible thing to do would be to feign concern about your large mortgage - but alleviate worries by explaining its still cheaper than rent for you and then leave it at that. No one needs to know whether you have a mortgage or not and will presumably assume that you have a large one. I know a lot of people who live well outside their means (mortgaged to the hilt, cars on finance, even the settees are on tick!) And no one blinks an eye. It's just normal now 🤷‍♀️ I wouldn't worry about it.

Thinkingpod · 24/04/2023 00:08

Nice life when this is your biggest worry in life.

Poor little rich girl

DieLemma · 24/04/2023 04:07

Tell them it’s shared ownership?

Bagwyllydiart · 24/04/2023 06:49

Starseeking · 20/04/2023 18:05

If you don't have a mortgage, Land Registry won't show that you have one.

Land Registry will show who bought the property and how much for, even if you don't have a mortgage.

Perhaps many people don't know that, so you may be ok just saying you've got a huge mortgage, unless one of these relatives points that out.

You have my sympathy; your relatives sound awful.

The Land Registry does show if and who any lenders are involved with the sale of the property.

GabriellaMontez · 24/04/2023 08:18

Thinkingpod · 24/04/2023 00:08

Nice life when this is your biggest worry in life.

Poor little rich girl

Did she say it was her biggest worry?

Starseeking · 24/04/2023 08:24

@Bagwyllydiart You've misunderstood the point.

OP doesn't have a mortgage, so Land Registry can't disclose any lender on her purchase. My post was in response to the many suggesting that she should tell relatives she has a big mortgage. Not the best advice, given they could easily find out she doesn't have one.

JennyBee23 · 24/04/2023 08:39

Just mutter a bit about how ridiculous the mortgage is. No one needs to know how much you own and how much is backed by the bank

Bagwyllydiart · 24/04/2023 10:48

Starseeking · 24/04/2023 08:24

@Bagwyllydiart You've misunderstood the point.

OP doesn't have a mortgage, so Land Registry can't disclose any lender on her purchase. My post was in response to the many suggesting that she should tell relatives she has a big mortgage. Not the best advice, given they could easily find out she doesn't have one.

I fully understood. The Land Registry section for “Lender” will say “none”. So her family could catch the OP in a lie.

So much personal information is available online, if you know where and how to look.

Stormyweathr · 24/04/2023 10:58

I was in a similar situation and bought a house and furnished it beautifully with my savings

when my family asked I just said I have been saving for years and had the money in a isa account that I couldn’t touch for x amount of years so there was no point in telling anyone about the money until now

Dontworkmondays · 24/04/2023 11:02

How much was the house? Even I’m curious now 🙈

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/04/2023 11:22

Moveoverdarlin · 23/04/2023 08:48

Someone may have said this already. But on the Land Registry website, you can register online and log in and see who owns a property. Every property you search you pay a £3 fee. So if you don’t have a mortgage, if they really wanted to find this out they could. My house for example says ‘jointly owned by Mr Joe Bloggs, Mrs Jane Bloggs and the Halifax Building Society.’ So people would know we have a mortgage.

They’d have to be desperate to bother to do this.

So every time you changed mortgage /banks it would be updated

Blondeshavemorefun · 24/04/2023 11:25

Do
People really pay £3 to check which Abi someone has their mortgage with or see if own it outright

I love looking at zoopla or how much houses in my street are going for but not to see if anyone has a mortgage

SpringLobelia · 24/04/2023 11:38

Mind you, there are huge backlogs at Land registry at the moment. So by the time it even becomes available online the unpleasant family members may have lost interest.

thecatsthecats · 24/04/2023 12:40

If anyone asks, just laugh and say, "Oh, like the awkward Zoopla ad but in real life, how funny" and don't answer the question.

I get the awkwardness though. We have very different spending habits to what our income is, and we run across an annoying slew of assumptions about what we earn etc. It grates.

Especially when people continually expect you to fall in line with THEIR spending, or sub them, because they've decided we're rich.

StarlightLady · 24/04/2023 13:09

Of course you have the right to your own privacy. Anyone who really wanted to know what you paid for it could simply look it up on line though.

Biker47 · 24/04/2023 17:18

Giletjaune · 23/04/2023 16:15

There must be a way of stopping it appearing on Zoopla/Rightmove Sold etc.

A rich lawyer couple bought an elderly relative’s house and built a fancy-pants des-res in its place (including indoor pool and special outside entertainment area on planning portal plans) but no mention of sale price or even that the house exists on Rightmove sold prices.

Maybe, but OP shouldn't need to do that.

You can easily get the sold price from the land registry website anyways.

Starseeking · 24/04/2023 17:24

@Bagwyllydiart If you understood the point, and as I mentioned in earlier posts stating that the family could find out the lender from Land Registry, I'm not sure why my post was quoted to say the same thing. Very odd.

Starseeking · 24/04/2023 17:27

If it helps, Zoopla will remove historic listings, but not actual sold price:

help.zoopla.co.uk/hc/en-gb/articles/360011412578-What-are-historic-listings-and-can-they-be-removed-

Starseeking · 24/04/2023 17:28

Rightmove will also relive the pictures and listing, but not sold price:

faq.rightmove.co.uk/support/solutions/articles/7000048769-can-you-remove-my-property-from-the-sold-price-information-

Starseeking · 24/04/2023 17:28

*remove the pictures and listing

Potaytocrisps · 24/04/2023 17:55

I don't think it's possible (or at least not easy!) to find the sold prices in Northern Ireland.
My nosy sister was green with envy when she realised you could just have a look on Rightmove for sold prices in England.

VisionsOfSplendour · 24/04/2023 18:07

Thinkingpod · 24/04/2023 00:08

Nice life when this is your biggest worry in life.

Poor little rich girl

Where are you getting that from, I can't see a list of worries

Or are you just a nasty person?