to not want my family to know how much I paid for my house?

[lightlyseasoned12938712]

Thanks to some good luck when I was younger, I have quite a lot of money saved up. But I've never made this obvious to people I know, partly because some of my family can be quite problematic when it comes to money. I really just don't want any of the attention that I know comes from wealth, so although I've never lied, I've also never done anything that would make my financial situation clear (car, clothes, travel, etc)

I don't think this is going to be possible any more - I've just bought my first house, and although it's not large, it was quite expensive due to the area. I'm happy for people to know I own a house (would prefer they didn't though), but I'd really really like people to think it was cheaper than was the case

Does anyone have any clever suggestions to hide or downplay this purchase? I'm dreading the questions and changes in attitude when I tell people otherwise!!

Missing the point to the thread - but what are high profile kids?

how would the press know the names of adoptive parents?

just being really nosey!

I think the more you try to make a thing out of hiding it the more likely people are going to go and look. Don’t make it a bigger issue than it is.

Yes, I know it's public record, that's what's got me so anxious. I was hoping for a way to spin it, or downplay it, if that's even possible

You don’t need to do a stealth boast thread.

If you had just posted asking for good wishes for buying your first house, people would have given them to you.

Yes, just say you ploughed all your savings I to the deposit and are mortgaged up to your eyebrows for the rest, so you will be broke for the foreseeable future.

It's public information after 6 months so they can just look it up if they want to.

Just say you've been saving like mad, have a huge mortgage and are super happy to have a lovely new home.

OP,

You can imply your morgage is massive for the next 30 years AND you recently had a pay increase.

Big house, big morgage, small disposable income, not available for loans!

They can find out so I would go with the good mortgage interest only deal as suggested, if they’re after ‘loans’ then you don’t have any spare money as you have your mortgage to pay and house to run. Simple - we never talk about mortgage(actually paid off) or money to even our closest family.

@VisionsOfSplendour It's around 600K, does that help?

@CremeEggThief it's human nature that worries me - e.g. I have a difficult relative who can be quite unpleasant. Once out of jealousy she tried to wreck a friend's career through official complaints, simply because she disliked this person's partner at the time. She in particular has been quite intense about where I'm going to be living, it really worries me!

Don’t let it bother you 🤷‍♀️

My extended family have no idea how much money we have. But just because they rent, whereas I own my house, I’m automatically seen as “rich” or “having too much money”.

I drive a Peugeot, my clothes are cheap bits from shein, I don’t own ANYTHING designer, or go on luxury holidays, or own a yacht yet that’s the view they’ve formed. I suspect the reason behind it is jealousy, or the fact that I’m a lawyer so they just automatically assume I must be dripping in wealth.

@Stripedbag101

High profile locally. (I imagine there will be a lot of these sadly) Kids adopted by a couple who moved towns for some anonymity. They didn't want the day they purchased their new house to be known as it would make them more traceable as it was known when they left the old town. Maybe they had the authorities on side in their case though.

Depends where you live that would be a bog standard two up two down round here. It's none of their business just tell them if they ask

Does anyone have any clever suggestions to hide or downplay this purchase? I'm dreading the questions and changes in attitude when I tell people otherwise!!
You could say what my friend said when she was asked how much her house cost. Her reply ' a fuckin' fortune!!!!' 🤣🤣

Speaking from experience OP, the jealous bastards will always hate you for it no matter what. So just go out of your way to annoy them.

Eh don't shy away, well done you for saving and not wasting away money. Be proud of the fact and ignore any bad stuff.

Although the sold price for your address is public information, zoopla/rightmove/on the market- basically whichever platforms the estate agents have used will also have photos linked to your address- the photos have to be taken down if asked. With rightmove it's as simple as writing in their 'contact us' box that you want the photos taken down. I can't quite remember what the others' processes are, but all rather straightforward anyway. I would recommend doing that so jealous family aren't ogling at your home!

@TheYearOfSmallThings, @SavBlancTonight , @billy1966, @Effingmagicfairy, yes I think this is the way to go

@notacooldad 😂

Thanks for everyone's help so far, you've made me laugh and feel less alone with this!

Life is too short. Stop worrying about them and concentrate on your lovely new house.

Be proud of what you have and ignore anyone who bothers you.
What can they do? Say stuff to you? That's it.
They aren't going to get you kicked out of your house.

Also , there really is no point in lying. You'll always have to watch what you say and cover things up.

“It was a lot of money, watch my eyes water, but have been able to get a mortgage as I have been saving like mad for a while. I’m glad I did it but haha, the mortgage will be very challenging for a few years. Anyway, tell me, have you seen x film / what happened about xyz at work / your hair looks great where did you get it done / is your knicker elastic holding up these days?”

I think it will be best to go with ‘ I’ve really had to scrimp to get it and I have a huge mortgage so need to tighten my belt ‘ . That should stop anyone thinking they can touch you up for some cash .

you can try bribing the land registry?

Just say "why do you want to know" because they have to justify asking you

Hi OP,
Congrats on the house.

If they ask how you afforded it I would just say you saved the minimum deposit (you could even say you took a loan for some of the deposit) …..so you have a large mortgage to find - but you thought you would stretch yourself and hope for the best.

Your relative might then wonder if you can still afford your mortgage if rates rise etc rather than thinking you are awash with cash.

Hope you are happy in your new home.

When someone in my family were trying to touch me for a largish loan after my mortgage was paid off, I told them I was asset rich but cash poor. it was true and and has taken several years to steady up but still have to budget hard.