to not want my family to know how much I paid for my house?

[lightlyseasoned12938712]

Thanks to some good luck when I was younger, I have quite a lot of money saved up. But I've never made this obvious to people I know, partly because some of my family can be quite problematic when it comes to money. I really just don't want any of the attention that I know comes from wealth, so although I've never lied, I've also never done anything that would make my financial situation clear (car, clothes, travel, etc)

I don't think this is going to be possible any more - I've just bought my first house, and although it's not large, it was quite expensive due to the area. I'm happy for people to know I own a house (would prefer they didn't though), but I'd really really like people to think it was cheaper than was the case

Does anyone have any clever suggestions to hide or downplay this purchase? I'm dreading the questions and changes in attitude when I tell people otherwise!!

Yes just tell them you're renting from a buyer who bought it as an investment

I can't believe how many people have suggested you lie and say you're renting. Do not lies lead to more lies? "Oh, who is your landlord? How much notice do you have to give?" etc etc.
I'm not above a white lie where necessary (yes, it's a lovely dress!) but actual proper lies should be a last resort.

OP while you might not be able to hide land registry details you do not have to disclose ANYTHING about your financial affairs. For the last 20 years, in complete contrast to my siblings, I’ve refused to let on how much I earn, how much Dh earns, the size of my mortgage or house price (different jurisdiction so not immediately available like in uk). It is so freeing once you’re in the swing of not answering the questions - just deflect, distract or distance! Some good examples of vague answers from PP.

My ex, on one of his many house purchases since we divorced, clearly "part-exchanged" with a high value single-property developer (please think high end). It took many months, if not years, to appear on any sold site. I knew the precise date he moved out and into the next home, but it must have been 18 months later the fake-ish value appeared on the sold sites with the backdated sale date. I never understood that - if ownership passed via Land Registry then why was it not recorded timely. Pre-Covid. PS Yes I am nosy. So the conversation re very high mortgage might work very well to deflect!

Just because it's online doesn't mean you're forced to discuss it

This. So what if it’s public knowledge- that doesn’t mean you have to explain anything! All they know is the price, that doesn’t mean you then have to show them your bank accounts. They can’t force you to explain if you refuse to engage. No one can make you tell them something if you don’t want to. Who cares if they throw a tantrum- let them. They aren’t going to die just because you don’t explain your finances to them. Literally nothing terrible will happen and the world won’t end. Make a joke and leave it at that. People can’t argue with themselves - it takes two!

loadsa money!!!

exaggerate it and laugh!

We paid off my mortgage in full when I was 35. We only had a mortgage for 5 years . DH and I didn’t tell anyone we had done this till a couple of years ago and we didn’t say oh it was 20 years ago. People assume you have a mortgage, Do not lie but allow assumptions. I have also taken some rather lovely holidays but just don’t post on social media or go in to detail.

My parents must have had an alarm on Rightmove for my house. I wasnt even aware that the price had been published online when my mum mentioned the exact price (not a round number). Sadly cant be hidden.

Can you not just tell anyone who asks that you rent?.

Yup.
On top that say it's an interest only mortgage.

If people probe.. how big's the mortgage, how much per month etc..

First answer is the brush off 'I try not to think about it haha'.

Second answer is another brush off 'I'd have to look it up I guess, I only go through my finance once a month so don't really carry that sort of thing in my head hehe'.

Third answer is 'really sorry, but I know you'll not mind if I don't broadcast my personal finances to all and sundry'

Final answer is 'oh do fuck off with your rude questions you nosey shit'

Tell them you've been selling your body for years - or that you're on Only Fans... it's nobody's business but yours!

Since you know they can see what the purchase price was, and presumably anyone with basic knowledge of a mortgage will know you'll have had to have a very reasonable deposit and/or salary to even buy it (if not both) - what's the point of going around the houses. They know whether you admit it or not because the alternatives are just silly - the bank isn't giving out generous mortgage rates without large deposits, it's obviously not going to seem true that you chanced upon a seller willing to give it to you for next to nothing for spurious reasons.

I do totally get it OP, I'm no longer in contact with my immediate family and this is exactly the kind of thing I'd expect from them but that's also exactly why I stopped seeing them. Being an adult and not feeling free to operate as you are without worry about what people will think/do/say is immensely liberating after decades of it spoiling everything. It's not a normal way to have to live.

Doesn’t bother me. There’s information a lot more personal than that.

Just say you took out a huge mortgage and afraid you may have overstretched now that inflation is so high. People will then look at you pityingly and be grateful they are not in your position.

Do people not understand what the LAND REGISTRY means?

Hi I'm not sure where you are posting from but is it possible to register the sale in a different language eg Welsh making it more difficult for a snooping relative to find the detials on line. I'm posting form Ireland and there have been incidences where high profile sales have been registered in Irish as opposed to English to make it more difficult to track down. This scenario may not be possible for you but just a suggestion! Congrats on the purchase!!

So you disengage.

Relative pokes her nose in makes snarky comments - whatever -
"Yeah, the mortgage is a stretch but I think it will be worth it in the long run. Are you having tea or coffee?"

Grey Rock & Broken Record are your friends.
https://www.healthline.com/health/grey-rock

https://www.revolutionlearning.co.uk/article/the-broken-record-technique/

Congrats on your new gaff!

Why are so many people encouraging lying with suggestions about renting etc? This is a really bad suggestion - it's too big a lie and will just scream false when the OP makes the house her own etc, and is something they will have to live with.

Even without the specifics of Rightmove, everyone has a pretty good idea of their area and the values so if you want to live in house like that, you've just got to 'own' it. You can say you've been careful for many years and acknowledge you're in a lucky position but now have the upkeep of a bigger property etc, but really - just ride it out proud, don't go creating lies for the sake of peace, it won't work.

We have similar relatives. They can see the sold price online but no one can verify what mortgage you have or don’t have. We do our best to avoid any conversations about finances and mortgages in the first place too. We’re not into fancy cars or designer brands etc which is probably also helpful. We keep all the financial stuff to ourselves as much as possible.

Look at it this way, now if they try to mooch from you, you can say 'sorry, all my funds are tied up in the mortage. And the payments are killing me'.

Or you could own it and say 'yeah, it's great to feel all my hard work, self-discipline and prudence finally paying off.'

You should be proud!

Can’t you say your renting?

When we bought our current house, it was quite a big jump from the house before. We paid £780k for our current house in 2019 and our last house was £286 in 2011. When my friend came round she was like ‘how have you afforded this? What did you pay for it? How much did you get for the old house? So I tentatively told her rough figures. She said ‘you might as well tell me, coz I’m only gonna look it all up online anyway’. I laughed out loud, least she was being honest. But people have no way of telling your equity. Just tell people you’ve got a massive mortgage and all your savings went in to the deposit.

I assume you can't just not tell.them your address so.they can't find you. But perhaps you could change the house name from a number? No longer 23, but Dunrenting or something.

Interest only mortgage and living on beans.

Could you not look them in the eye and say that your sugar daddy paid for it? That would shut down the convo pretty fast.