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Original poster

to not want my family to know how much I paid for my house?

276 replies

lightlyseasoned12938712 · 19/04/2023 17:25

Thanks to some good luck when I was younger, I have quite a lot of money saved up. But I've never made this obvious to people I know, partly because some of my family can be quite problematic when it comes to money. I really just don't want any of the attention that I know comes from wealth, so although I've never lied, I've also never done anything that would make my financial situation clear (car, clothes, travel, etc)

I don't think this is going to be possible any more - I've just bought my first house, and although it's not large, it was quite expensive due to the area. I'm happy for people to know I own a house (would prefer they didn't though), but I'd really really like people to think it was cheaper than was the case

Does anyone have any clever suggestions to hide or downplay this purchase? I'm dreading the questions and changes in attitude when I tell people otherwise!!

OP posts:
GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 23/04/2023 10:06

Are you from the U.K., OP?

Only asking because I know families from two other cultures where their relations certainly do expect hefty handouts if they think they’ve got money.

MILLYmo0se · 23/04/2023 10:12

If anyone asks how you afforded it answer all the lines off, 'i ll probably be in hock to the bank til im 90! wont have a pot to piss in for years but oh well least the house is nice' ie i have a big mortgage and no disposable income now
If they ask what your repayments are just tell them you dont discuss your finances/none of their business/laugh it off 'oh god id burst into tears reminding myself how much it us/make up a figure.

HyacinthBookay · 23/04/2023 10:13

Because you've just bought a house in an expensive area you now have the perfect excuse to plead poverty if anyone asks you for financial help. Everybody will assume that you are financially overextended and there is no need to put them straight.

Giletjaune · 23/04/2023 10:14

If they go as far enough to get the Land Registry details and realise there’s no mortgage provider listed just say “gosh, they must have made a clerical error with the listing. Thanks for letting me know”.

it’s best to say as little as possible though. I let slip to BIL that our mortgage was paid off which lead to him and SIL downsizing to a tiny flat so they were mortgage free (which they really regretted living in during the pandemic and they are still paying storage fees for furniture) and the other SIL and BIL downsizing from a lovely house to a meh smaller house, just so they could all be mortgage-free too.

Mamabear48 · 23/04/2023 11:31

Just say you did help to buy and only needed a 5% deposit

Showdogworkingdog · 23/04/2023 11:34

Just say you rent it, it’s public information so you can’t say you’ve bought it without nosy others looking up what you paid for it.

ambr · 23/04/2023 11:36

It’s none of their business, I’d think of a polite way to say so. Even if it’s just, “we ended up getting a great deal”. If anyone mentions money stick with that phrase. If you buy the house there’s really no way to hide the price, if people want to find out, they will. You are who you are, be proud of it, don’t flaunt your money and enjoy your life. If your family can’t be happy for you that’s their problem.

Happyher · 23/04/2023 11:48

Just a ‘I worked hard and saved every penny to afford it’. Be proud of your achievement

T1Dmama · 23/04/2023 12:09

I’m assuming you wouldn’t have blown all your money on a house, so probably a normal ish 3 bed detached house in a nice area…. As mentioned you could say it’s mortgaged and if anyone is Assad enough to look it up and say a mortgage company isn’t listed call their bluff and say it must be an error. Or say you’ve had a win on the lottery which covered the price of the purchase but have very little left.
or maybe tell your nicer relatives that you bought the house outright with money you won/saved or however you came into it. Tell them you’ve kept it quiet because you know some family will be jealous and spiteful…. The ones worth having around will understand why you haven’t told anyone and will support you. If I was a family member being told this I’d tell anyone bitching about it to not be so jealous and spiteful and be pleased for the family member.

Scousefab · 23/04/2023 12:24

everyone is correct in the fact they can just Google and your house price comes up. Just make out you have a massive mortgage! Job done haha enjoy your new home. If you can afford always over pay as much as you can saves £££ in the long run if you have mortgage.

Happyasalamb · 23/04/2023 12:28

I've found people don't usually ask how much someone paid for their house but if they do it gives no idea how much someone actually put in, how much their mortgage is, how much their monthly payments are or over how long unless you specifically tell them all those things.

Enjoy living in your new home and don't worry about it.

ididntwanttodoit · 23/04/2023 13:52

Can't see why it's anyone's business. Be enigmatic if you're asked outright - say something like:
Q: How much did house cost
A: Too much
Q: No, actually how much?
A: I've always made it a rule never to discuss money, religion or politics.
Q: It's a simple question ...
A: (laughs). I'll tell you when you're older
..... and so on until they stop asking

GirlsAndPenguins · 23/04/2023 14:13

Just say it’s used all your savings for the minis deposit and you will have to make sure you are being careful with such a large mortgage to pay. That way they will know you have no available funds

Newestname002 · 23/04/2023 14:26

When you are asked by the nosey person say "Why??" and keep asking Why (no need to saying anything but that one word unless it's "but why?". That will drive them up the wall.

If they continue ask them the question they've just asked YOU! Also ask them about how much they've paid for holidays, their cars etc.

Once you've driven them nuts for a while walk away. 🌹

TimeToBreakFree · 23/04/2023 14:39

It's just not worth becoming a liar to get them off your back. There are ways to remain assertive and authentic but without coming under them. You can do that without needing to report to behaviour you might not be comfortable with.

MumApril1990 · 23/04/2023 14:56

They can look it up online. I
would just ignore any snarky comments.

We had this when we bought our last house in a nice area, not that expensive compared to many 350k, but our relatives don’t work so to them it was allot. I knew they were slagging us off, and the house off saying it was rubbish for the price. I just ignored it.

Biker47 · 23/04/2023 15:43

Couldn't imagine not having a decent car or nice holidays in fear of potentially spiteful vindictive retribution from certain relatives.

As mentioned before, just own it, if you're not worried about being tapped up for loans/gifts to them; realistically what are they actually going to be able to do?

You're worried about people who don't sound particularly nice, not trusting you as much as they currently do? Doesn't sound like much of a loss to be honest.

Itsbritneybitch22 · 23/04/2023 15:50

Can you say you and a friend went halves but she’s married and only you live there for now? If anyone questions it just say so many people are doing it in this generation.

LT1982 · 23/04/2023 15:57

nurseynursery · 19/04/2023 17:29

You can see what a house is sold for once the land registry has been updated (few months usually). I'm sure theres a way to hide this from being public, friends of friends who adopted high profile kids did this as it was harder for the birth family /press to follow them but I don't know how they did it!
Can you say you've put a smaller deposit down/ larger mortgage/ shared ownership/ bought with a partner/friend.

It's not possible to remove the sold price from public record at Land Registry without good reason. Not wanting it in the public domain is not good enough reason. I work in conveyancing

PoshHorseyBird · 23/04/2023 16:14

So certain family members will be unpleasant to you if they find out how much you've bought your house for, is that right? Do they feel entitled to your money then? Or that if you had that sort of money you should have 'helped them out'. If that's the case do you need these family members in your life?? They sound incredibly unpleasant if they think they're entitled to your money! You don't need to tell them you've bought it outright, just say you've got a HUGE mortgage and wow its certainly maxed you out every month! If they keep pushing just tell them you don't like discussing finances and change the subject.

Giletjaune · 23/04/2023 16:15

There must be a way of stopping it appearing on Zoopla/Rightmove Sold etc.

A rich lawyer couple bought an elderly relative’s house and built a fancy-pants des-res in its place (including indoor pool and special outside entertainment area on planning portal plans) but no mention of sale price or even that the house exists on Rightmove sold prices.

Doubletroublemummy2 · 23/04/2023 16:26

Don't bring it up....

mnahmnah · 23/04/2023 16:28

The house next door to us sold last year, yet doesn’t appear on any websites listing sold prices etc. so there must be a way of not having it as public knowledge?

SomersetDreams · 23/04/2023 17:09

Say you have a sugar daddy!

You deserve to have a lovely home and not let others spoil it. :)

LT1982 · 23/04/2023 19:22

If the property was purchased from elderly rekatives who had lived there a long time it is likely unregistered. Land Registry currently have extreme backlogs of 2-3 years for this type of application (and all applications) so this is probably why it hasn't appeared online yet if the first registration hasn't been completed.

House prices are public record unless,so there's a genuine reason to redact to price it will be recorded at Land Registry (which is where rightnove and zoopla get their info)