To want to pay for the cracked plate?

[PinkStarAtNight]

DP and I are staying in a holiday cottage for the week. We paid around £500 for the week, its in a nice area down south.

Tonight I have accidentally cracked one of the plates. I think it happened because I put it in the microwave. I have to have my food hot in order to eat it so I microwaved the last half of my meal. This is something I do often at home and have never cracked a plate, apart from one time a few years ago with some very cheap plates from The Range. I put it down to them being cheap and so cracked easily. However, the plate that has cracked in the cottage looks like a nice one. Its one of those that are hand painted (fruit).

Anyway, I did a quick Google to try gauge the value and it seems you can get a painted fruit plate for £10. I personally wouldn't pay more than £10 for the plate in question, so when I told DP what had happened I suggested we buy some superglue when we're out tomorrow and do our best to mend it, but that we also leave behind £10 so that if they notice the crack and want a new one they can buy another plate.

DP is annoyed about the plate being cracked and it put a downer on our evening because he's stressed about us possibly being charged. He doesn't agree we should leave the £10, he thinks we should hide the plate and hope they don't notice. He says he's annoyed at my suggestion of supergluing it AND leaving behind money because he says the only reason you would superglue is if you week going to try disguise it, as he thinks we should do, so why would you also leave money?
He thinks the plate is worth more than £10. I said that if the plate is worth more than £10 they shouldn't have left it in a holiday cottage that they rent out. This made him more annoyed and he said they were trying to make the place nice by equipping it with nice plates and they don't expect people to break them...

He also got annoyed with me because when I was washing the plate, a little bit on the edge where it was cracked got washed off (I hooked it out of the sink and put it back on there, so we could superglue it). He says I wasn't being careful enough. But when the plate was on the table and he was inspecting the crack he kept picking at the bit on the edge. I told him not to and that it would cause it to come off but he kept picking. Then, when it did come off whilst I was washing it he said it was my fault for not washing it carefully enough!

I ended up coming upstairs to bed because I didn't want an argument, but am now lying on the bed listening to him walk around downstairs muttering things under his breath, one of the being 'beyond help...beyond help'.

AIBU to think he is overreacting a bit and we could just superglue and leave behind £10 as a good will gesture, or is this a bigger deal than that and he has a right to be annoyed with me and also think I'm being U for wanting to leave the £10?

When one of my DC broke one of a set of four wine glasses in an Air BnB in France. I left them 10€ and a note. I wouldn’t have worried if they’d been mine but they were part of a set and she also had the place very nicely set up. The woman texted to say it wasn’t necessary but she appreciated the gesture, most guests just don’t say anything.

So I think breakages are factored into hosting. Leave the money, or don’t, but don’t superglue it, it’ll just break again.

Why would you even have superglue with you on holiday? You'd need to have gone out and bought it. Who can be bothered with that? . Thank goodness common sense prevailed and you just told the owner.

Wow, how do some people navigate through day to day life?

I wouldn't think twice about this, I'd just wash and put it away. Wouldn't leave money either - if they contact you about it, fine, but 99% of people wouldn't leave an expensive plate they were bothered about out in a holiday cottage, myself included (we rent out a holiday property.)

You and your dh sound like the kind of people I try to avoid in real life (ie. Neurotic a.f.)!

I am starting to boycott cottage holidays. I always end up feeling like I am somehow doing them a favour. So many examples 'what the hell' it would be a long post.

Breaking the odd bit of crockery is going to happen. It's up to the owner to take responsibility to make sure everything is there for the next person. They are running a business and you are a guest not part of their workforce. Same with the excessive amounts of cleaning and rules some places have. I am not on a cleaning holiday. I treat these places like my own home and am careful. However, ine place we stayed, wanted us to fold old dirty bed linen into specifc piles. It was expensive and I felt like I was back at school with laminated rules everywhere.

Check-ins at 5pm and check outs at 9.00am, any deviation and you pay through the nose. I really think a lot of these places are still taking the mickey after covid. Yes you have a turn around time but some places you basically lose the enjoyment of the property for nearly a day. When we have got in, the places haven't been that clean. Arrived at one last year to find my friend hoovering 100s and 1000s up, not just a bit of dust.

Often there are not full sets of things. I would buy a job lot of stuff at IKEA and just have a stash I replace from. I spend £££ on a holiday cottage to eat with random cutlery and knives and forks, excessively clean and get thrown out at the crack of dawn. I'd rather stay at home and save my money. Or go away, just come back from a villa holiday, half the cost with owner and site manager that couldn't do enough to make the holiday a real holiday.

OP, I know he apologised but that is such a complete over reaction, I would be a bit wary.

Many people have a strong opinion of food temperature.

In my house of 6, we all have strong views from very hot to positively luke warm and everything in between.

Not something that I would have thought should irritate anyone else.

You are very young.

I hope your boundaries are strong because I would be very wary of his behaviour, which sounds very critical of something that is actually none of his business.

As expected the owners are understanding.

we have air b n b’d plenty of times. We only provide crockery, utensils that we aren’t going to cry about being damaged. There is a difference between accidental breaking one plate and trashing the whole set/ kitchen. A note to the owner and contribution is a kind and sensible action. The biggest problem for us has been guests leaving the property absolutely filthy and using every single linen and towel including spares for the next guests. This makes changing over guests much more timely and costly in terms of finding a cleaner and having to make multiple trips to finish the job. It seems like your husband is suffering from anxiety at the moment or is perhaps triggered by this small event. Is it part of a larger problem between the two of you? It’s important not to minimise his feelings but also understand that this is a simple mistake you’ve made that can be rectified in a practical manner. Is the suggestion that you are often careless so it’s the straw that’s broken the camels back or are there financial fears that he is displacing onto this minor thing?

Complete agree and mirrors the conversation of numerous people I know over the past couple of years.

Simple no longer worth the effort.

Your DH is extremely hypocritical because he is so anxious and concerned about this plate yet refuses to do anything about fixing it?! So, really, his issue is not about the fees or letting down the owners.
I suspect this show is all for you and designed to make you feel incredibly small. Especially by criticizing you when you were trying to fix the problem by washing the plate?! This is controlling and manipulative behaviour and sets off my alarm bells.
I’m guessing it’s also learned behaviour. His mother put pressure on you both to not break anything while on holiday - yet when it happens her advice is just to cover it up? It doesn’t make sense.
Financially he also seems to have full control. And is expecting future payment from you despite your circumstances… that just seems off.
Please OP, I don’t have the big picture here, but if this behaviour is a pattern, please speak to someone about it!

Your DH sounds like he was being a complete dick.

I also don’t use Airbnb and similar as I don’t like all the additional rules and excessive cleaning that seems to be required.

I wouldn't leave money but I would leave a note or message them and offer to pay for a replacement. I've broken a glass before and did the same but the owner said it didn't matter.

I've never stayed in an AirBnb where cleaning was required other than wiping surfaces, stripping beds and emptying bins. If you owned a holiday let surely you would expect the odd breakage and not put anything valuable in there! Booking.com I find a far less transparent website than AirBnb. I stayed somewhere recently and we just had two rooms in a house whereas the information and price made it sound like you would have whole apartment or at least your own kitchen and living area like in an apart hotel, and not be in a shared space. AirBnb is much clearer on this and there are tons of reviews so you can avoid somewhere crap/something that doesn't suit you.

Personally I think your both in the wrong.
You shouldn't have used a plate like that in the microwave!
And yes you should replace it not glue it how dishonest is that? You broke it you replace it. I'd be so angry if someone glued a plate and didn't own up to it. If you break something you have to replace it like an adult.
Even my 4 year old will come tell me and be honest if she's broken something.
Hiding it is just the same utterly wrong.

I wouldn't expect customers to know what plates are microwaveable, and would leave a negative review if a host were that petty. But also it's nothing to hide as it's nothing to be ashamed about, and I would absolutely leave a note or send a message about breakages.

Yesterday at home I had been heating up milk in a little jug I've had for years, and yesterday it got super hot and cracked and fell apart when I got it out of the microwave, and milk went everywhere. These things happen.

As other owners have already said, the best thing is to let the owner know. I always appreciate honesty and usually waive any costs, depending on the circumstances.
I definitely only use nice but cheap plates because breakages happen. I actually have in my welcome pack a note that my preference is, if there are breakages, for the guest to get something of a reasonable match from Tesco. It saves ambiguity, nobody feels they might have paid over the odds fir the replacement, and it makes my life and the next guest's life easier.

If you can't contact the owner and prefer to leave a note and £10 that is reasonable and I think would be appreciated.

Do Not glue and hide it - this would annoy me because it would give the next guest the impression I thought glued plates were an acceptable standard, which I don't. (The next guest wouldn't know it was a guest that glued it). I remove chipped and damaged items from my property immediately to give a good impression.
I'd actually be more forgiving if you did nothing.

I, like most owners I'm sure, factor in breakages in my costs. I lose around 10% cups, glasses, plates, pots and pans etc each year!

He's her partner, not her husband, thank goodness.

Ringing his mummy🙄

Tbf we have the cheapest plates in both our vans that we hire out. It honestly wouldn't bother me. Don't stress.

Oh and to add, just let the host/park know so they can get it sorted before the next guests arrive

Wow what a long post and so much thought over … a plate !

Firstly don't repair it. Try giving them a ring they may just tell you not to worry. If you suoerglue it someone else could put it in microwave and potentially cause a fire or damage just leave it on the bench with a note apologising and asking them to call you to.let you know.how much it will be to replace. "Also don't leave cash because it's not guaranteed the owners will clean they may have a firm of low paid cleaners.who sadly some may just take the money and log the plate as damaged and you be billed for it anyway". Sounds like your hubby is OTT and been redicukua.but I agree with the not leaving money. You will never be able to prove you left it. Even a photo of money isn't evidence because you could take a picture then take the money back. A tip though plates that are safe for microwave usually have microwave safe on the bottom. If they have a raised pattern, gold edging etc and no microwave safe login id defo assume they aren't. Id risk a plain coloured plate if it didn't have it marked on bottom but nothing else.

Good grief it’s only a cracked plate. Don’t superglue it, that’s much worse than owning up. I have a holiday let and we honestly expect a bit of crockery to get broken from time to time. I’d be very happy if a guest told me about a breakage (and they usually do). I usually wouldn’t charge them for it either.
it’s nasty mess/parties, damage to decor and furnishings that I would be upset about. You are both making a mountain out of a molehill.

Every once in a while there is a post that gives you an actual headache.

This. Your DP is completely in the wrong and yet he's blaming you.
Is he so poor that he can't afford £10 - which is really only a gesture and wants to ruin your holiday and stress you out and fault find over this. Is £10 that life altering for him?

Stop consulting him. Tell him you are leaving the plate, the £10 and a note and that is the end of the matter. Don't get sucked into playing these pathetic blame games he's initiating.

I have stayed in many holiday houses, and have had the odd breakage. We stay as a group of 10 including kids, so things do happen - a wine or water glass normally.

I have always messaged the owner when it happened, then left the broken thing on the kitchen table when I've left so that the owner/cleaner can easily see what needs replacing.

None of the cottages have ever asked me to pay for the breakages. They leave me good reviews, so I can only assume that the odd breakage is expected and that being open and honest about it makes it less stressful for them.

Just leave it and see what they say.

You can't super glue a dinner plate

A ten pound plate in an Air BnB sounds silly to me

I have a holiday let and furnished it with denby. I would love you as a guest as most smash or crack it and never say anything let alone leave money for a replacement.

Just...why???