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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to pay for the cracked plate?

270 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 01:03

DP and I are staying in a holiday cottage for the week. We paid around £500 for the week, its in a nice area down south.

Tonight I have accidentally cracked one of the plates. I think it happened because I put it in the microwave. I have to have my food hot in order to eat it so I microwaved the last half of my meal. This is something I do often at home and have never cracked a plate, apart from one time a few years ago with some very cheap plates from The Range. I put it down to them being cheap and so cracked easily. However, the plate that has cracked in the cottage looks like a nice one. Its one of those that are hand painted (fruit).

Anyway, I did a quick Google to try gauge the value and it seems you can get a painted fruit plate for £10. I personally wouldn't pay more than £10 for the plate in question, so when I told DP what had happened I suggested we buy some superglue when we're out tomorrow and do our best to mend it, but that we also leave behind £10 so that if they notice the crack and want a new one they can buy another plate.

DP is annoyed about the plate being cracked and it put a downer on our evening because he's stressed about us possibly being charged. He doesn't agree we should leave the £10, he thinks we should hide the plate and hope they don't notice. He says he's annoyed at my suggestion of supergluing it AND leaving behind money because he says the only reason you would superglue is if you week going to try disguise it, as he thinks we should do, so why would you also leave money?
He thinks the plate is worth more than £10. I said that if the plate is worth more than £10 they shouldn't have left it in a holiday cottage that they rent out. This made him more annoyed and he said they were trying to make the place nice by equipping it with nice plates and they don't expect people to break them...

He also got annoyed with me because when I was washing the plate, a little bit on the edge where it was cracked got washed off (I hooked it out of the sink and put it back on there, so we could superglue it). He says I wasn't being careful enough. But when the plate was on the table and he was inspecting the crack he kept picking at the bit on the edge. I told him not to and that it would cause it to come off but he kept picking. Then, when it did come off whilst I was washing it he said it was my fault for not washing it carefully enough!

I ended up coming upstairs to bed because I didn't want an argument, but am now lying on the bed listening to him walk around downstairs muttering things under his breath, one of the being 'beyond help...beyond help'.

AIBU to think he is overreacting a bit and we could just superglue and leave behind £10 as a good will gesture, or is this a bigger deal than that and he has a right to be annoyed with me and also think I'm being U for wanting to leave the £10?

OP posts:
Rubyupbeat · 17/04/2023 08:35

100% don't superglue it. It won't be able to be used again by guests.
Just leave it on the side with 15 quid (replacement costs and postage)

schoggiweggli · 17/04/2023 08:37

We have a holiday home. If you'd broken one of our plates, I would do nothing. Certainly would not charge you for it. If you left £10 I would be very happy (and would tell you so).

What would annoy me would be if you superglued it, because it may not be noticed and might be left for the next guests and I don't think people should be eating off plates that are glued together.

I would also much prefer that you told me so that it could be replaced. Not fair on the next guests. (This is one of my annoyances about the holiday home - accidents happen, stuff breaks / goes missing - but if people don't tell me I cannot fix it)

friendsinplaces · 17/04/2023 08:39

You are both over-reacting. Holiday lets get accidental breakages all the time. You could text or email the owner/management company asking what they would like you to do, then forget about it. Of course don't faff about sticking it together, it's no use to anyone. You and your husband both need to stop sweating the small stuff. In fact this isn't small stuff, it's tiny stuff!

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 17/04/2023 08:39

If I've booked small items because of negligence I've replaced them to save the owner the inconvenience. It doesn't really matter what your opinion is on what the owner should or should not put out in terms of value, but if you break something from a set you need to replace it for them to be able to make the set back up.

Newyeardietstartstomorrow · 17/04/2023 08:40

Broken auto corrected to booked, bizarrely!

notquitesoyoung · 17/04/2023 08:40

Don't superglue it. Just contact the owner and let them know, see what they say. I bought spare when kitting out our Airbnb so when anything gets damaged I have spares to replace. 7 years and I haven't run out yet.

Octonaut4Life · 17/04/2023 08:41

Just message the owner, say what's happened, apologize and offer to pay. Chances are they won't even ask you to, I've broken a glass before at a holiday let and the owner wasn't worried at all, a certain amount of breakages is expected.

SunnySaturdayMorning · 17/04/2023 08:46

YABU. Just take some responsibility, own up and ask them how they would like you to proceed.

They will not want you to superglue it. That’s just shoddy.

Supergluing the plate, hiding it, leaving money are all sneaky tactics designed in the hope they won’t raise the issue with you.

Just own up.

BellePeppa · 17/04/2023 08:48

Goodness, what a lot of unnecessary drama over a plate.

Rosula · 17/04/2023 08:51

Does your husband get this stressed if you break something at home? I don't understand why he thinks it's such a disaster. We've occasionally broken something in a holiday cottage. If we could replace it easily, we do; if not, we let the owners or agents know and say we're happy for the cost to come out of our deposit. It's just not a big deal.

butterpuffed · 17/04/2023 08:51

Why would anyone use a superglued plate ? Just leave the money with a note .

ShagratandGorbag4ever · 17/04/2023 08:54

Just email the letting company and confess to breaking the plate. Landlords budget for the occasional breakage. And leave your husband behind when you go home.

pizzaHeart · 17/04/2023 08:58

agree with PPs: don’t superglue and tell the owner about it.
How old are you both? 6? You are so upset about a broken plate and your DH wants to hide it?????
Is there something else going on in your life? It sounds like this plate has became a last straw for you both and you’ve lost self control and sense of proportion, albeit in different ways.

RegardingMary · 17/04/2023 09:01

I'd just send a quick message to the owner. In that situation we wouldn't care and wouldn't expect you to pay.

Breakages are a normal expectation when renting out and they'll just be glad they can bring along a spare.

I wouldn't leave money, lots of places outsource their cleaning and you've no guarantee the cleaner won't just pocket the money.

herlightmaterials · 17/04/2023 09:03

I'm sorry op but there's something quite funny about the idea of your dh striding around muttering you're beyond help over a cracked plate! He must be a joy to have around!

I would let the landlord know - briefly without mention of super glue, microwaves or money! - and just ask what they'd like you to do.

GoodChat · 17/04/2023 09:04

Text the owner to let them know and leave some money for the plate. easy.

Oysterbabe · 17/04/2023 09:07

I'd throw it in the bin and forget about it. I would assume a plate is microwave safe. I bet it was already a bit damaged.

W0tnow · 17/04/2023 09:07

We have a rental. Email the owners, apologise and offer to leave money behind. If they have any sense they’ll say thanks for letting us know but it’s not necessary and we hope you enjoyed your stay. They consider it a small price to pay for a 5 star review.

Marmitecrumpetswithalittlecheese · 17/04/2023 09:14

Daftasyoulike · 17/04/2023 01:16

Please OP, just tell the cottage owner what has happened, as soon as possible, so that they can tell you what they would like you to do. I own a holiday cottage, and would far rather someone owned up to an accident, than try to hide it, as that is really devious, and if there is a set of say 4 plates and the next guests need all 4, by keeping quiet about it, you're not giving the owner a chance to replace it in time, thereby possibly spoiling the next guest's enjoyment of the property and causing the owner a lot of stress on changeover day. It's possible that they may have a couple of spares, if they bought 6 and only need 4 in the cottage, so they may just say not to worry, and thank you for your honesty. Personally, I would be really cross about you supergluing and trying to hide it as your DP wants to do, and would not only ban you from visiting again, but put your details on the various hospitality groups, which could result in your being turned down next time you want to rent a place. Please be honest, the owner WILL appreciate it!

Oh wow. Well if I was your guest and learnt you were sharing people's details I wouldn't want to stay with you again anyway!! Pretty sure you aren't allowed to do that 🙄

eurochick · 17/04/2023 09:18

Daftasyoulike · 17/04/2023 01:16

Please OP, just tell the cottage owner what has happened, as soon as possible, so that they can tell you what they would like you to do. I own a holiday cottage, and would far rather someone owned up to an accident, than try to hide it, as that is really devious, and if there is a set of say 4 plates and the next guests need all 4, by keeping quiet about it, you're not giving the owner a chance to replace it in time, thereby possibly spoiling the next guest's enjoyment of the property and causing the owner a lot of stress on changeover day. It's possible that they may have a couple of spares, if they bought 6 and only need 4 in the cottage, so they may just say not to worry, and thank you for your honesty. Personally, I would be really cross about you supergluing and trying to hide it as your DP wants to do, and would not only ban you from visiting again, but put your details on the various hospitality groups, which could result in your being turned down next time you want to rent a place. Please be honest, the owner WILL appreciate it!

You would name and shame because someone broke a plate and tried to fix it?
Wtf? I'm not sure you should be letting accommodation tbh.

Lookylookyy · 17/04/2023 09:20

I agree with other posters. Tell the hosts, offer to leave them £10 to cover it. Don’t superglue it. Don’t give it another thought!

I have been an Airbnb host and if one of my guests has fessed up to me, I would most likely say don’t worry about it. I didn’t leave anything precious and breakable in the property.

But don’t hide it and hope they won’t notice. They’ll notice and then be irked you hid it!

Your DP is being a bit dramatic about it. Does he suffer from anxiety?

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 17/04/2023 09:22

It's a plate. I'd just let them know you broke it and if they want to take £10 out of your deposit then go for it. If I were a host I wouldn't take the money out of the deposit - accidents happen.

Elphame · 17/04/2023 09:25

I treat plates and other breakable kitchen items as “disposable “ in my holiday cottage.

I’d be pleasantly surprised if you left me some money to replace it but most people wouldn’t and I don’t expect it.

Please don’t superglue it. Just leave it on the counter so the cleaner knows it’s broken and can get a new one out of the cupboard.

Ladderback · 17/04/2023 09:28

I'm not understanding why your boyfriend is giving you such a hard time for not knowing a plate wasn't microwave safe?

I'd message the owner and be done with it.

Anoisagusaris · 17/04/2023 09:31

I’ve a holiday cottage, what I would like is for you to email or text to say you broke the plate so I can replace it before the mayhem of cleaning the cottage before the next arrival (it can be very stressful to find things are missing/ broken in the short changeover window). And I wouldn’t charge you.

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