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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to pay for the cracked plate?

270 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 01:03

DP and I are staying in a holiday cottage for the week. We paid around £500 for the week, its in a nice area down south.

Tonight I have accidentally cracked one of the plates. I think it happened because I put it in the microwave. I have to have my food hot in order to eat it so I microwaved the last half of my meal. This is something I do often at home and have never cracked a plate, apart from one time a few years ago with some very cheap plates from The Range. I put it down to them being cheap and so cracked easily. However, the plate that has cracked in the cottage looks like a nice one. Its one of those that are hand painted (fruit).

Anyway, I did a quick Google to try gauge the value and it seems you can get a painted fruit plate for £10. I personally wouldn't pay more than £10 for the plate in question, so when I told DP what had happened I suggested we buy some superglue when we're out tomorrow and do our best to mend it, but that we also leave behind £10 so that if they notice the crack and want a new one they can buy another plate.

DP is annoyed about the plate being cracked and it put a downer on our evening because he's stressed about us possibly being charged. He doesn't agree we should leave the £10, he thinks we should hide the plate and hope they don't notice. He says he's annoyed at my suggestion of supergluing it AND leaving behind money because he says the only reason you would superglue is if you week going to try disguise it, as he thinks we should do, so why would you also leave money?
He thinks the plate is worth more than £10. I said that if the plate is worth more than £10 they shouldn't have left it in a holiday cottage that they rent out. This made him more annoyed and he said they were trying to make the place nice by equipping it with nice plates and they don't expect people to break them...

He also got annoyed with me because when I was washing the plate, a little bit on the edge where it was cracked got washed off (I hooked it out of the sink and put it back on there, so we could superglue it). He says I wasn't being careful enough. But when the plate was on the table and he was inspecting the crack he kept picking at the bit on the edge. I told him not to and that it would cause it to come off but he kept picking. Then, when it did come off whilst I was washing it he said it was my fault for not washing it carefully enough!

I ended up coming upstairs to bed because I didn't want an argument, but am now lying on the bed listening to him walk around downstairs muttering things under his breath, one of the being 'beyond help...beyond help'.

AIBU to think he is overreacting a bit and we could just superglue and leave behind £10 as a good will gesture, or is this a bigger deal than that and he has a right to be annoyed with me and also think I'm being U for wanting to leave the £10?

OP posts:
threatmatrix · 19/04/2023 11:00

How old are you both? I can’t vote because you are both behaving like children. If you break something you should replace it or leave a note. Expensive plates should not be put in the microwave unless otherwise stated on the underneath.

PinkStarAtNight · 19/04/2023 11:27

GBoucher · 18/04/2023 02:16

Your last update makes a lot of sense. I can now see that his overreaction wasn't really about the broken plate but subconsciously wanting to 'punish' you because your microwaving your food mid-meal has been getting on his nerves. It would get on my nerves too, frankly, if my DH was unable to eat his food in one sitting and had to keep getting up to reheat his plate of food. It seems completely OTT. Perhaps you should stop doing it and see if you can get used to eating food that's not scalding hot. It's annoying for the people you are eating with and not all food microwaves well anyway - lots of things would be ruined in a microwave. Out of interest, how do you eat food that's meant to be eaten cold like a sandwich or a salad? Cheesecake? How do you cope in restaurants? I can't imagine eating in a restaurant and asking them to take my plate away and microwave it for me. They'd look at me like I've just grown an extra ear, surely?!

I only need food to be hot if its supposed to be hot food. So sandwiches, salads and ice cream I'm fine to eat cold, obviously, because they're meant to be cold. In fact if something is meant to be cold then I have to have it properly cold. I wouldn't like it if it was a bit warm.

I appreciate I'm obviously strange because most people don't understand me and think its strange to Microwave my food, but to me it just makes sense - hot food should be hot, cold food should be cold. I honestly don't understand how people manage to eat lukewarm or cold food that's meant to be hot, just for the sake of staying at the table and eating at the exact same time as others.

And in restaurants, I do sometimes ask them to reheat it if the food was less than hot when it arrived, because imo restaurant food should be served hot and if its not hot to begin with I will end up with lukewarm food half way through. I have never had a problem with doing this, they have always been happy to do it and I've even had a couple of waitors finish my sentence for me, when I'm saying 'I can't eat food unless its hot'- a couple of them have said it for me and nodded as if they are familiar with the concept and have had people asking before. I don't see the big deal really

OP posts:
PeachyPeachTrees · 19/04/2023 11:30

I've booked a holiday cottage for this Summer. The terms and conditions say, let owners know about any accidental breakages and if under £25 there's nothing to pay. They just want to know, so that the place is right for the next guests, eg enough plates.
Glad you did the right thing and told owners and they were fine about it. Hopefully your partner will not call Mummy and follow her bad advice in the future. This isn't an attractive quality in a future husband!

IsAGirlMumma · 19/04/2023 11:33

Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2023 01:11

I wouldn't give this a second thought at all. Both of you are making a mountain out of a molehill.

This!

Mygirlruby · 19/04/2023 14:48

It's a holiday let, things get broken through wear and tear. Say what you've done, apologise. End of drama.

PoshHorseyBird · 19/04/2023 14:52

I would just message the owner and apologise and say you accidentally broke a plate and what's the best way to go about replacing/paying for it. They must expect accidents to happen but I'm sure they'll appreciate you offering to sort it. I'm more concerned how dramatic your DP is being! Muttering 'beyond help..beyond help' what's that supposed to mean??

GoodChat · 19/04/2023 14:54

Petition to auto-ban everyone who doesn't bother reading the OP's posts before they comment

LouLouLoooo · 19/04/2023 17:00

I'd tell the owners. Leave the plate. Leave the 10 euro. And leave the man.

LouLouLoooo · 19/04/2023 17:00

Sorry pounds.

Kate0902900908 · 19/04/2023 20:18

I think you both need to relax. It’s a plate. Let’s say for talkings sake it’s £20 to replace plate, is it really worth all this for a cracked plate? I’m thinking there’s not much going on on this holiday?
‘beyond help’ he sounds unhinged. Sorry.

Leave cracked plate to one side with £10. Job done. It’s a holiday cottage things get broken.

Deniseduck · 19/04/2023 21:24

We own a holiday property in Turkey - we expect a small amount of crockery to get broken each season and don’t charge for it. We do however really like guests who fess up as this makes replacement easier. Most property owners buy fairly cheap and easily replaceable plates etc. for this reason. Don’t stress - get on and enjoy your holiday

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/04/2023 23:16

I'd just tell them and apologise. It's a holiday let - cracked plates and smashed glasses are pretty common. They'll likely say it's fine and move on.

IDontWantToBeAPie · 19/04/2023 23:25

Have realised there was an update so ignore me

Buffs · 20/04/2023 00:22

I think you are very decent to pay for the plate. I agree they would not leave crockery they particularly cared about in a rental.

Stewball01 · 28/04/2023 00:25

Contact the owner about the stupid plate. Do not try to super glue it. That's very noticeable.
Your dh is a nutcase. Everybody breaks things sometimes. Is he so perfect? Don't let him rule you. Don't even tell him just phone the owner. You can tell him after. Are you happily married? I doubt it. You sound a little stressed by him and you shouldn't be especially about a bloody broken plate.

LadyJ2023 · 28/04/2023 00:37

Erm the holiday cottages we keep mostly people leave a note for broken glasses cups etc and a fiver or tenner out of common decency next to it to replace if we can. Doesn't matter what you pay some decency is also involved.

Caroparo52 · 12/06/2023 20:13

Husband sounds petty and small minded individual.
Don't berate yourself. Accidents happen. You are over thinking this. Leave a note and ask to know replacement costs.
The End.

MetalFences · 13/06/2023 15:17

Caroparo52 · 12/06/2023 20:13

Husband sounds petty and small minded individual.
Don't berate yourself. Accidents happen. You are over thinking this. Leave a note and ask to know replacement costs.
The End.

How is she going to 'leave a note'? Travel back in time two months?

Also, her husband rang the owner and offered to pay for the plate. In April.

QuillBill · 13/06/2023 15:46

The End.

Yes. It was the end. But not because you said so. More because it was over months ago.

canigetitmyself · 14/06/2023 16:17

Wow, so much drama

Have a look in a chazza shop or leave a sorry note

Or ask the owner how much?

Unlikely it's worth a tenner as whom would put high value crockery in their holiday let

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