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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to pay for the cracked plate?

270 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 01:03

DP and I are staying in a holiday cottage for the week. We paid around £500 for the week, its in a nice area down south.

Tonight I have accidentally cracked one of the plates. I think it happened because I put it in the microwave. I have to have my food hot in order to eat it so I microwaved the last half of my meal. This is something I do often at home and have never cracked a plate, apart from one time a few years ago with some very cheap plates from The Range. I put it down to them being cheap and so cracked easily. However, the plate that has cracked in the cottage looks like a nice one. Its one of those that are hand painted (fruit).

Anyway, I did a quick Google to try gauge the value and it seems you can get a painted fruit plate for £10. I personally wouldn't pay more than £10 for the plate in question, so when I told DP what had happened I suggested we buy some superglue when we're out tomorrow and do our best to mend it, but that we also leave behind £10 so that if they notice the crack and want a new one they can buy another plate.

DP is annoyed about the plate being cracked and it put a downer on our evening because he's stressed about us possibly being charged. He doesn't agree we should leave the £10, he thinks we should hide the plate and hope they don't notice. He says he's annoyed at my suggestion of supergluing it AND leaving behind money because he says the only reason you would superglue is if you week going to try disguise it, as he thinks we should do, so why would you also leave money?
He thinks the plate is worth more than £10. I said that if the plate is worth more than £10 they shouldn't have left it in a holiday cottage that they rent out. This made him more annoyed and he said they were trying to make the place nice by equipping it with nice plates and they don't expect people to break them...

He also got annoyed with me because when I was washing the plate, a little bit on the edge where it was cracked got washed off (I hooked it out of the sink and put it back on there, so we could superglue it). He says I wasn't being careful enough. But when the plate was on the table and he was inspecting the crack he kept picking at the bit on the edge. I told him not to and that it would cause it to come off but he kept picking. Then, when it did come off whilst I was washing it he said it was my fault for not washing it carefully enough!

I ended up coming upstairs to bed because I didn't want an argument, but am now lying on the bed listening to him walk around downstairs muttering things under his breath, one of the being 'beyond help...beyond help'.

AIBU to think he is overreacting a bit and we could just superglue and leave behind £10 as a good will gesture, or is this a bigger deal than that and he has a right to be annoyed with me and also think I'm being U for wanting to leave the £10?

OP posts:
GhostBridezilla · 17/04/2023 21:54

This sounds like a stupid argument that I wouldn’t have with DP. Really who gives a shit.
message the owner they may say don’t worry it happens all the time. Own up and pay up if need be. Forget the glue.

savoycabbage · 17/04/2023 21:54

Have you tried putting the food on a hot plate before you eat it? That way it should stay hot longer.

I'm glad you contacted the owner. His mum saying that they hide things they break is absolute madness!

piedbeauty · 17/04/2023 21:55

Glad you have resolved it!

But bloody hell, what's wrong with people who would hide a broken plate in a holiday let?? Bonkers.

LuluBlakey1 · 17/04/2023 22:04

It's a plate- you are both being unreasonable. It's part of wear and tear - crockery breaks. I broke a mug today. I haven't even mentioned it to DH, why would he be bothered? I have no idea what you are both so worked up about. I wouldn't have given it a second thought- just leave it broken on the bench so they know it's broken.

LoisLane66 · 17/04/2023 22:18

I stayed looking after a friend's house while she was away and accidentally broke a cup handle.
I looked it up online as it was china and found it would cost me £46 from John Lewis...just the cup, no saucer. 😲🤬
I ordered it and left the broken one and the new one in the posh box it arrived in.
I mean...£46... wow! This was in 2000.

LoisLane66 · 17/04/2023 22:19

The holiday let will be insured for just such occasions.

allmyliesaretrue · 17/04/2023 22:23

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 14:35

We had another chat about it this afternoon. He has apologised for overreacting. I told him about the amount of people who have said that we really should be letting the owners know, and pointed out that they may want to get a replacement before changeover. He then understood and agreed to message them and offer to pay. We did that and they have replied and said not to worry!

He admitted that he was a bit annoyed with me always microwaving the food and that's maybe why he overreacted about the plate. I know this is not normal and I hate having to do it, it annoys me! But I just can't eat cold or lukewarm food so I can't really help it. Don't think there was any need for the nasty comments about me being a lunatic and his family being vile, but it is mumsnet after all!

Thanks to the people who replied with constructive advice about what to do.

Think you both need to calm down massively on this!! These things happen - the cottage owners clearly know this, it's a fecking plate!!! It must have been faulty in the first place if it cracked in the microwave. YANBU to want to eat your food hot!!

It's a goddamn PLATE! How on earth will the pair of you handle it if you face a real crisis in life?! My eldest is 26, wouldn't phase them at all.

I don't like the way his mum just hides breakages, that's mean. And supergluing is a pretty yuk idea too!

Dontcareforthehaters · 17/04/2023 22:33

I really wouldn't worry about it, I probably wouldn't leave any money either. I used to own a property that was on a short term letting site and things got damaged all of the time. I only ever invoiced for big damage like heavily stained bedding from hair dye (could have been prevented), other than that, it's just a cost of running this sort of short term let.
Either way, move on from the plate and enjoy your holiday.

JJWT · 17/04/2023 22:34

Too many comments to read them all so apologies if this has already been covered, but, do you have any thoughts about your DH's neurodivergence/typicality? That's what struck me anyway when I read your post. If that's barking up the wrong tree completely, my other thought is that this isn't about the plate at all even though it's coming out in that context, and he's actually stressed about something else. I imagine all sensible things that could be said about the plate have been well covered by now! I hope all concerned are able to enjoy the rest of the holiday x

MermaidMummy06 · 17/04/2023 22:39

Can you contact the accomodation owner via the app?

One of my kids put their fist through the fabric on the back of a very old recliner at an AirBnB. The owner was lovely and sent me a picture of it repaired but didn't want any money for it, as it was old & obviously an accident. Also told us to come back whenever we liked as we'd left the place so tidy & clean. So not a big deal.

Dibbydoos · 17/04/2023 22:53

I'd let them know. They may be OK about it. Don't hid it or do anything underhand.

Honestly I suspect they don't use the plates anyway so they won't care. As long as you're not smashing everything up, holiday home owners are normally pretty fine about small breakages - sh1t happens.

Good luck OP x

SchoolTripDrama · 17/04/2023 22:58

Daftasyoulike · 17/04/2023 01:16

Please OP, just tell the cottage owner what has happened, as soon as possible, so that they can tell you what they would like you to do. I own a holiday cottage, and would far rather someone owned up to an accident, than try to hide it, as that is really devious, and if there is a set of say 4 plates and the next guests need all 4, by keeping quiet about it, you're not giving the owner a chance to replace it in time, thereby possibly spoiling the next guest's enjoyment of the property and causing the owner a lot of stress on changeover day. It's possible that they may have a couple of spares, if they bought 6 and only need 4 in the cottage, so they may just say not to worry, and thank you for your honesty. Personally, I would be really cross about you supergluing and trying to hide it as your DP wants to do, and would not only ban you from visiting again, but put your details on the various hospitality groups, which could result in your being turned down next time you want to rent a place. Please be honest, the owner WILL appreciate it!

You would name & shame on all the groups? Hmm My God. That's beyond petty! I laughed out loud at the immaturity of that

SchoolTripDrama · 17/04/2023 23:02

@Chamelion Totally uncalled for. Reported

Rosula · 17/04/2023 23:28

MysteryBelle · 17/04/2023 19:07

What a ridiculous post. Both of you are acting foolishly and over the top trying to slither out of being adult human beings.

This is very very easy. Tell the owner you accidentally cracked the plate and would like to pay for the damage and replace it if needed. Then pay the owner.

Ethics 101.

Much more ridiculous to post an abusive message like this well after the entire issue has been resolved, just because you can't be bothered to read all the OP's posts.

ohdamnitjanet · 17/04/2023 23:34

Lordy he’s a misery, if you can afford a nice holiday why care about leaving a tenner? I hope when accidentally breaks something you make him feel like shit as well.

QueenCamilla · 17/04/2023 23:59

Wc100423 · 17/04/2023 20:38

We holiday cottage a lot. I always take champagne flutes, a salad spinner and a griddle pan with me. You need to start a list of items that would help you like a microwaveable plate as this will ease your worries.

Inflatable armchair
Chocolate and/or cheese fondue set
Portable bidet
Plug-in egg poacher
Cast iron crepe pan
Foot spa
Electric heater that glows like a real coal fire
Himalayan salt lamp
Pestle&mortar
Carpet tiles
Sushi rolling set
Smart composting bin
Nipple tassels
Kitchen sink

MysteryBelle · 18/04/2023 00:55

Rosula · 17/04/2023 23:28

Much more ridiculous to post an abusive message like this well after the entire issue has been resolved, just because you can't be bothered to read all the OP's posts.

Show quote history

Hold on. My post was not abusive at all. Step back. And, you didn’t read all the posts yourself as I posted again soon after my first one and said I hadn’t seen her update, my apologies, and that she resolved it perfectly. Where’s my apology from you now?!

To want to pay for the cracked plate?
Boohisspiss · 18/04/2023 01:59

I thought the fun of going on holiday in your twenties was that you snagged all the time. Plate chat not so much.

GBoucher · 18/04/2023 02:16

Your last update makes a lot of sense. I can now see that his overreaction wasn't really about the broken plate but subconsciously wanting to 'punish' you because your microwaving your food mid-meal has been getting on his nerves. It would get on my nerves too, frankly, if my DH was unable to eat his food in one sitting and had to keep getting up to reheat his plate of food. It seems completely OTT. Perhaps you should stop doing it and see if you can get used to eating food that's not scalding hot. It's annoying for the people you are eating with and not all food microwaves well anyway - lots of things would be ruined in a microwave. Out of interest, how do you eat food that's meant to be eaten cold like a sandwich or a salad? Cheesecake? How do you cope in restaurants? I can't imagine eating in a restaurant and asking them to take my plate away and microwave it for me. They'd look at me like I've just grown an extra ear, surely?!

marseille · 18/04/2023 03:12

I want to know if the OP eats ice-cream or nukes it into a puddle.
BTW OP - you do realise of you had been born in say the 1950's you wouldn't have had a microwave to jump up in the middle of your dinner and put in. Perhaps throw your microwave out and see if you last the week.

user1492757084 · 18/04/2023 06:23

Always be honest.
Why was a cracked plate the cause of such discussion?
It's a waste of good holiday time.

Say sorry. It will be a tax/business deduction for the holiday cottage. They will put it down to general wear and usage but will want to ensure that they replace it for the next guest so communication is important. They may also like to know that it is not microwave safe for future purchases.

I predict they will not want you to leave any money.

SecretiveSquirrel · 18/04/2023 07:21

OP please tell me what you do when you go out for dinner. Do you ask the waiters to reheat your food mid-meal?

ChocChipHandbag · 18/04/2023 07:34

Boohisspiss · 18/04/2023 01:59

I thought the fun of going on holiday in your twenties was that you snagged all the time. Plate chat not so much.

Grin
YouveGotToGrooveIt · 18/04/2023 08:06

HerRoyalNotness · 17/04/2023 01:08

I wouldn’t superglue, just leave the £10 with a note.

your DP sounds over dramatic!

Basically this.

By heck, he sounds like a hassle...