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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to pay for the cracked plate?

270 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 01:03

DP and I are staying in a holiday cottage for the week. We paid around £500 for the week, its in a nice area down south.

Tonight I have accidentally cracked one of the plates. I think it happened because I put it in the microwave. I have to have my food hot in order to eat it so I microwaved the last half of my meal. This is something I do often at home and have never cracked a plate, apart from one time a few years ago with some very cheap plates from The Range. I put it down to them being cheap and so cracked easily. However, the plate that has cracked in the cottage looks like a nice one. Its one of those that are hand painted (fruit).

Anyway, I did a quick Google to try gauge the value and it seems you can get a painted fruit plate for £10. I personally wouldn't pay more than £10 for the plate in question, so when I told DP what had happened I suggested we buy some superglue when we're out tomorrow and do our best to mend it, but that we also leave behind £10 so that if they notice the crack and want a new one they can buy another plate.

DP is annoyed about the plate being cracked and it put a downer on our evening because he's stressed about us possibly being charged. He doesn't agree we should leave the £10, he thinks we should hide the plate and hope they don't notice. He says he's annoyed at my suggestion of supergluing it AND leaving behind money because he says the only reason you would superglue is if you week going to try disguise it, as he thinks we should do, so why would you also leave money?
He thinks the plate is worth more than £10. I said that if the plate is worth more than £10 they shouldn't have left it in a holiday cottage that they rent out. This made him more annoyed and he said they were trying to make the place nice by equipping it with nice plates and they don't expect people to break them...

He also got annoyed with me because when I was washing the plate, a little bit on the edge where it was cracked got washed off (I hooked it out of the sink and put it back on there, so we could superglue it). He says I wasn't being careful enough. But when the plate was on the table and he was inspecting the crack he kept picking at the bit on the edge. I told him not to and that it would cause it to come off but he kept picking. Then, when it did come off whilst I was washing it he said it was my fault for not washing it carefully enough!

I ended up coming upstairs to bed because I didn't want an argument, but am now lying on the bed listening to him walk around downstairs muttering things under his breath, one of the being 'beyond help...beyond help'.

AIBU to think he is overreacting a bit and we could just superglue and leave behind £10 as a good will gesture, or is this a bigger deal than that and he has a right to be annoyed with me and also think I'm being U for wanting to leave the £10?

OP posts:
permafrost · 18/04/2023 19:39

This is really all you've got to worry about?

GoodChat · 18/04/2023 19:43

permafrost · 18/04/2023 19:39

This is really all you've got to worry about?

People are allowed to think about more than one thing at a time.

Caterina99 · 18/04/2023 19:57

We have a holiday let.

Things get broken. That’s just life. We appreciate it if someone tells us if something is broken so we can replace it from the identical spares ones we have for this purpose!

We wouldn’t charge for a broken plate.

Ahardyfool · 18/04/2023 20:02

OP I just want to try and make you feel a teeny bit better here by telling you this since your partner clearly isn’t .
Not long after we moved into our Grade II listed rental cottage, I took it upon myself (like a complete muppet) to move the piano across the parquet floor. You can guess the net result and I was obviously completely mortified. I phoned our landlord and confessed all (having also phoned a parquet repair company or two for some quotes) and offered to remedy but he was absolutely fine about it. I anticipate that when we move we may have to actually fix the floor and have mentally set aside a large sum of money for this eventuality but over the years of living here I have come to ignore my idiocy and value my integrity in doing the right thing following my error of judgment. I do hope your partner learns to do the same and that you are able to uphold those values of your own in the face of his more dishonest ways.

Kteeb1 · 18/04/2023 20:44

You have problems and it's not the plate. You need to know your DHs reaction is not normal. I'm gong through a divorce froma cohesive controlling man, and the amount of things that I thought was normal and actually aren't is huge. This is a complete over reaction to an every day issue, and your anxious response to it is really sad.

spriggit · 18/04/2023 20:45

why denby or why dont they say when they break stuff?

Macinae · 18/04/2023 20:59

I accidentally smashed a wine glass in a holiday home. Left a note apologising and a fiver. Job done.

mustgetoffmn · 18/04/2023 21:05

Coming in in the middle. Don’t hide it. Sorry but that’s a bit childish. It hardly stops owner eventually finding out! Don’t superglue it. Not good for things which come into contact with food. Also would need professional repair to be invisible. Just leave with a note of apology. Nothing else. They will let you know if they want to charge you. Tbh that should be mentioned in the rental contract. Don’t buy a replacement either. I wonder if the plate had a bit of age eg 30s or 40s. Quite commonly had added floral decoration on. Might be the reason it didn’t withstand the microwave. Assume you’ve checked the underside for a name? You are both over reacting and sound young which you are in your mid 20s. Don’t get so het up!

Jack80 · 18/04/2023 21:07

I would leave the broken plate on the side when leaving with a £10 to say sorry. xx

Densol57 · 18/04/2023 21:07

If I was ever feeling down or stressed MN is the place to go to read about REAL problems and put my worry into perspective ! 🤣😂

Mydietstartstomorrow · 18/04/2023 22:03

Oh my god the drama!! Really?? Over a cracked plate?! I think you both need to get a grip. Own up to the crack and move on. Lucky you for having such minor problems in life 🙄

GlomOfNit · 18/04/2023 22:06

Is it very wrong of me that I read the OP's first post in a Howard and Hilda voice?

OP, I sort of hope you're not still reading - as you say, this IS mumsnet and it's not a kind place sometimes. But paying your partner back for meals when you yourself don't have a job doesn't sound like a very equitable relationship to me Sad

I do sort of agree with you though - holiday rental cottages shouldn't put out very expensive tableware or things that can't easily be replaced, unless they're not that bothered if something does happen. I've stayed at lots of different types of rentals and we've broken the odd glass. I've always just 'fessed up about it and we've never been charged.

Perky1 · 18/04/2023 22:36

Just pretend you found a broken plate in the cupboard like my guests often do 🤷‍♀️

pollymere · 18/04/2023 22:38

My husband fell down the stairs and pulled the bannister from the wall. We reported it and they were more concerned about him and thanked us for letting them know. They didn't take a penny. I suspect the plate getting cracked will be a "don't worry about it" thing. You could email them and say a crack appeared in one of the plates and you're just letting them know.

MummyofTw0 · 18/04/2023 22:45

Jesus. Mountain out of a molehill. Just mention to the owner. Apologise. End of

Mothership4two · 18/04/2023 23:44

Broken loads of things over the years in holiday homes, always told the owners, and was never charged. Years ago my parents rented out part of their house as a holiday home for just factored information breakages. It's no big deal. We spend more than £10 on ice creams.

DH also microwaves hot meals and drinks and I've always called him weird!

Now you are past this OP I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday

sussexpud · 18/04/2023 23:49

sorry but you are both being really weird about this plate.

Mothership4two · 19/04/2023 00:36

Mothership4two · 18/04/2023 23:44

Broken loads of things over the years in holiday homes, always told the owners, and was never charged. Years ago my parents rented out part of their house as a holiday home for just factored information breakages. It's no big deal. We spend more than £10 on ice creams.

DH also microwaves hot meals and drinks and I've always called him weird!

Now you are past this OP I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday

Factored in for breakages

Ukrainebaby23 · 19/04/2023 02:35

It's a plate, if it wasn't supposed to go in microwave I'd expect a label to say that.

Tell the owners it broke preferably, so they have time to replace it, or leave a tenner and a note, either way, get on with your holiday and next time take your own microwaveable plates.

RachaelN · 19/04/2023 05:09

I hate to be that person.. but for the love of god stfu. It's a plate! 😂😂😂

Emma2023 · 19/04/2023 08:03

Omg, I think the plate is the least of your worries! Don’t superglue, leave £10. But equally it’s a holiday cottage they will expect breakages at some point, so actually don’t think you need to leave the £10 at all- but it’s a polite gesture.

Grrrrdarling · 19/04/2023 09:09

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 01:03

DP and I are staying in a holiday cottage for the week. We paid around £500 for the week, its in a nice area down south.

Tonight I have accidentally cracked one of the plates. I think it happened because I put it in the microwave. I have to have my food hot in order to eat it so I microwaved the last half of my meal. This is something I do often at home and have never cracked a plate, apart from one time a few years ago with some very cheap plates from The Range. I put it down to them being cheap and so cracked easily. However, the plate that has cracked in the cottage looks like a nice one. Its one of those that are hand painted (fruit).

Anyway, I did a quick Google to try gauge the value and it seems you can get a painted fruit plate for £10. I personally wouldn't pay more than £10 for the plate in question, so when I told DP what had happened I suggested we buy some superglue when we're out tomorrow and do our best to mend it, but that we also leave behind £10 so that if they notice the crack and want a new one they can buy another plate.

DP is annoyed about the plate being cracked and it put a downer on our evening because he's stressed about us possibly being charged. He doesn't agree we should leave the £10, he thinks we should hide the plate and hope they don't notice. He says he's annoyed at my suggestion of supergluing it AND leaving behind money because he says the only reason you would superglue is if you week going to try disguise it, as he thinks we should do, so why would you also leave money?
He thinks the plate is worth more than £10. I said that if the plate is worth more than £10 they shouldn't have left it in a holiday cottage that they rent out. This made him more annoyed and he said they were trying to make the place nice by equipping it with nice plates and they don't expect people to break them...

He also got annoyed with me because when I was washing the plate, a little bit on the edge where it was cracked got washed off (I hooked it out of the sink and put it back on there, so we could superglue it). He says I wasn't being careful enough. But when the plate was on the table and he was inspecting the crack he kept picking at the bit on the edge. I told him not to and that it would cause it to come off but he kept picking. Then, when it did come off whilst I was washing it he said it was my fault for not washing it carefully enough!

I ended up coming upstairs to bed because I didn't want an argument, but am now lying on the bed listening to him walk around downstairs muttering things under his breath, one of the being 'beyond help...beyond help'.

AIBU to think he is overreacting a bit and we could just superglue and leave behind £10 as a good will gesture, or is this a bigger deal than that and he has a right to be annoyed with me and also think I'm being U for wanting to leave the £10?

Why are you getting so het up about a simple plate? It isn’t like you have damaged it on purpose or smashed it on the floor in a fit of rage & tried to hide it.
Leave the plate out with a note to say that it cracked in the microwave, offer to pay for a new plate & leave it at that.

The cost of a plate does not make it more or less likely to crack in the microwave so I would say the plate already had some sort of damage or defect that has lead to the break so not your fault.

When you book these places you usually pay a deposit, that is returned after inspections are done for damage at the property, so in an ideal situation the people you rented from would just take £10 for the plate out of the deposit & return you the difference.

Simple & common issue that you are making into an absolute drama unnecessarily.

APolarBearTraverses · 19/04/2023 09:16

I own a Holliday cottage. If someone left a note and 10 pounds I would be pleased and surprised. Most people would just dispose and hope you wouldn't notice. We wouldn't charge for the likes of this - it is reasonable wear and tear. Accidents happen.

Grrrrdarling · 19/04/2023 09:19

Grrrrdarling · 19/04/2023 09:09

Why are you getting so het up about a simple plate? It isn’t like you have damaged it on purpose or smashed it on the floor in a fit of rage & tried to hide it.
Leave the plate out with a note to say that it cracked in the microwave, offer to pay for a new plate & leave it at that.

The cost of a plate does not make it more or less likely to crack in the microwave so I would say the plate already had some sort of damage or defect that has lead to the break so not your fault.

When you book these places you usually pay a deposit, that is returned after inspections are done for damage at the property, so in an ideal situation the people you rented from would just take £10 for the plate out of the deposit & return you the difference.

Simple & common issue that you are making into an absolute drama unnecessarily.

Show quote history

@PinkStarAtNight

Pressed post before finishing…

Your partner suggesting you hide the plate is childish, his whole attitude is giving me massive asshat & emotional abuser vibes so I wonder how often he is like this with you, & gluing the plate is dangerous as it could & probably would come apart on an unsuspecting person using the item in the future.

Just leave a note for the owners explaining what happened & offer to replace the plate.
Honestly there is nothing to be worried about as these things happen & again it isn’t like you did it on purpose but covering up the accident would be very wrong & unsafe for further users of the rental!

Heyhoitsme · 19/04/2023 10:32

We're just back from a holiday cottage. All crockery was plain white, easily replaced. We didn't break anything but would have tried to buy like for like if we had. Seems madness for a cottage to have plates that are too precious for the microwave. Tell your husband to wind his neck in. He's being a pratt. Leave £10 if you want to.

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