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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to pay for the cracked plate?

270 replies

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 01:03

DP and I are staying in a holiday cottage for the week. We paid around £500 for the week, its in a nice area down south.

Tonight I have accidentally cracked one of the plates. I think it happened because I put it in the microwave. I have to have my food hot in order to eat it so I microwaved the last half of my meal. This is something I do often at home and have never cracked a plate, apart from one time a few years ago with some very cheap plates from The Range. I put it down to them being cheap and so cracked easily. However, the plate that has cracked in the cottage looks like a nice one. Its one of those that are hand painted (fruit).

Anyway, I did a quick Google to try gauge the value and it seems you can get a painted fruit plate for £10. I personally wouldn't pay more than £10 for the plate in question, so when I told DP what had happened I suggested we buy some superglue when we're out tomorrow and do our best to mend it, but that we also leave behind £10 so that if they notice the crack and want a new one they can buy another plate.

DP is annoyed about the plate being cracked and it put a downer on our evening because he's stressed about us possibly being charged. He doesn't agree we should leave the £10, he thinks we should hide the plate and hope they don't notice. He says he's annoyed at my suggestion of supergluing it AND leaving behind money because he says the only reason you would superglue is if you week going to try disguise it, as he thinks we should do, so why would you also leave money?
He thinks the plate is worth more than £10. I said that if the plate is worth more than £10 they shouldn't have left it in a holiday cottage that they rent out. This made him more annoyed and he said they were trying to make the place nice by equipping it with nice plates and they don't expect people to break them...

He also got annoyed with me because when I was washing the plate, a little bit on the edge where it was cracked got washed off (I hooked it out of the sink and put it back on there, so we could superglue it). He says I wasn't being careful enough. But when the plate was on the table and he was inspecting the crack he kept picking at the bit on the edge. I told him not to and that it would cause it to come off but he kept picking. Then, when it did come off whilst I was washing it he said it was my fault for not washing it carefully enough!

I ended up coming upstairs to bed because I didn't want an argument, but am now lying on the bed listening to him walk around downstairs muttering things under his breath, one of the being 'beyond help...beyond help'.

AIBU to think he is overreacting a bit and we could just superglue and leave behind £10 as a good will gesture, or is this a bigger deal than that and he has a right to be annoyed with me and also think I'm being U for wanting to leave the £10?

OP posts:
PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 14:28

TempNCforthis · 17/04/2023 13:21

You're going to pay him back for the holiday?

Holiday is fully paid for, we paid half each. I just don't have pocket money because I'm out of work atm so will pay him back for things like meals out when I am working again

And no we're not very young, we are 26 and 27.

OP posts:
PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 14:35

We had another chat about it this afternoon. He has apologised for overreacting. I told him about the amount of people who have said that we really should be letting the owners know, and pointed out that they may want to get a replacement before changeover. He then understood and agreed to message them and offer to pay. We did that and they have replied and said not to worry!

He admitted that he was a bit annoyed with me always microwaving the food and that's maybe why he overreacted about the plate. I know this is not normal and I hate having to do it, it annoys me! But I just can't eat cold or lukewarm food so I can't really help it. Don't think there was any need for the nasty comments about me being a lunatic and his family being vile, but it is mumsnet after all!

Thanks to the people who replied with constructive advice about what to do.

OP posts:
ZiriForEver · 17/04/2023 14:39

No superglue, no hidding.
I don't think leaving money is necessary, you haven't thrown it on your DH, it just cracked, plates sometimes do as they accumulate the wear and tear.
Just leave it there with a note "sorry about the plate, cracked in microwave."

I did notified the owner when I accidentally broke a jug, as there was only one in the kitchen, but I don't think it is that crucial here, just don't hide it.

2bazookas · 17/04/2023 14:54

Don't glue it. A repaired plate is not letting standard .
Tell them you broke it and see if they charge you.

notquitesoyoung · 17/04/2023 15:47

@Daftasyoulike disclosing guests personal details to others is a breach of GDPR and could land you and anyone else in hot water.

GoodChat · 17/04/2023 15:57

notquitesoyoung · 17/04/2023 15:47

@Daftasyoulike disclosing guests personal details to others is a breach of GDPR and could land you and anyone else in hot water.

You're allowed to make other establishments aware of bad guests on certain hospitality sites.

You'll probably find it in the Ts and Cs when you book holiday lodgings.

CaledonianDream · 17/04/2023 16:15

If you leave the plate with a tenner, take a time/date stamped photo.

Chismeando · 17/04/2023 17:48

It's a plate, only a plate.
They will know that guests can accidentally break things.
Definite mountain out of a molehill.

Mumto2kids86 · 17/04/2023 17:56

Seriously? It’s a plate. Just explain what happened and offer to pay. Grow up

GoodChat · 17/04/2023 18:03

Mumto2kids86 · 17/04/2023 17:56

Seriously? It’s a plate. Just explain what happened and offer to pay. Grow up

Grow up and read the full detail rather than being sneery

Koalasparkles · 17/04/2023 18:23

In all honesty your partner needs to sort his anger issues out. Or is this actually about something else that you haven't disclosed? Because I just don't see how he can get so angry about you accidentally cracking a plate. Let's face it, you didn't even drop it, but even if you had it would be an accident. Momentary annoyance, yeh sure I get, but to carry on with stomping around and muttering about you - that's worrying behaviour.

OoooohMatron · 17/04/2023 18:38

Your holiday sounds like a hoot. Two adults stressing and arguing over a plate, get a grip. It's hardly likely to be a priceless artifact in an air B&B

Elphame · 17/04/2023 18:40

He then understood and agreed to message them and offer to pay. We did that and they have replied and said not to worry!

Fabulous - now forget it and enjoy the rest of your break!

Kvetching · 17/04/2023 18:45

If I had a 27 year old son and he phoned me to ask what to do about a broken plate, well, it would just never happen 😂

leccybill · 17/04/2023 18:45

Do you eat any cold food - salads and the like?

LouLou198 · 17/04/2023 18:47

Leave £10, message the owner to apologise and don't give it another thought!
Try and enjoy the rest of your holiday, your dh sounds very dramatic getting so upset about a plate. Accidents happen.

BreviloquentBastard · 17/04/2023 18:48

I cannot imagine ever being happy in a relationship where the breaking of a fucking plate caused this much drama. And if my husband EVER phoned his mother to settle an argument between the two of us that'd be the end of the marriage. Nothing is more vagina shrivelling than a crybaby mummy's boy.

For context, husband and I stayed in a holiday cottage for his 30th, so not much older than you and yours OP. I knocked over a champagne flute and smashed it. My husband said "wayhay butterfingers", I texted the owner and told them what happened and offered to pay, they said "oh don't worry about it at all!", after a bit of prodding for the cost I Venmo'd her a fiver for the glass anyway. The whole affair took 5 minutes of our lives. No mothers were involved. That's how it should be.

Are you sure you want to be in a relationship with such a dramatic baby?

AgentJohnson · 17/04/2023 18:51

Tell the owner and offer to pay, simple. Is your H always such a twat?

PricklyFoot · 17/04/2023 18:54

You can't superglue it. Cracked plates are unhygienic, I would certainly be disappointed to arrive at a holiday cottage and find I was expected to use a repaired plate.

I'd leave a note explaining what happened. I wouldn't expect to be charged, I'd consider it an expected cost of running this kind of business.

MysteryBelle · 17/04/2023 19:07

What a ridiculous post. Both of you are acting foolishly and over the top trying to slither out of being adult human beings.

This is very very easy. Tell the owner you accidentally cracked the plate and would like to pay for the damage and replace it if needed. Then pay the owner.

Ethics 101.

Indoorcatmum · 17/04/2023 19:13

It's a plate...

Does he always make such a huge deal out of small mistakes?

People like that need to get their priorities straight.

HolidayLetter · 17/04/2023 19:14

I'm glad you've resolved it, @PinkStarAtNight.
FWIW, you have done absolutely the right thing to alert the owners, as it's a PITA if cleaners don't notice that a plate (or whatever) is missing, and the next guests are then short.
Nobody with any sense puts anything that can't be replaced in a holiday home, even a high end one (as mine are). I have spares of everything, because I expect breakages. Unless someone did something like throw all the wine glasses around the sitting room for the hell of it, I would never charge for replacements. It's all part of wear and tear.
Your husband needs not to consult his mother about this sort of thing, though, not least as she's the kind of guest that holiday cottage owners dread!

Moser85 · 17/04/2023 19:20

PinkStarAtNight · 17/04/2023 14:28

Holiday is fully paid for, we paid half each. I just don't have pocket money because I'm out of work atm so will pay him back for things like meals out when I am working again

And no we're not very young, we are 26 and 27.

I thought he sounded like a grumpy middle aged man 😂

Ponderingtosk · 17/04/2023 19:20

OP I don’t like Luke warm food either, but I just gobble it up very quickly and then as I finish I look around and realise everyone else is not even half way through and feel a bit embarrassed.

Moveoverdarlin · 17/04/2023 19:23

Telling the owner as soon as possible? Superglue? Stressed husband? Calm the fuck down!! This happens all the time. Leave a tenner and a note saying ‘Hi XXXX, we had a wonderful stay here, we both feel wonderfully relaxed and rested. Ever so sorry, but I broke a plate, my mistake entirely, here is £10 to cover the cost. Apologies once again, Mr and Mrs Over Reaction.

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