to be so fucking hurt by them

[bumblebeesarecute]

I have hideous psoriasis. Im self conscious of it everyday- its like an outline of crusts all around my scalp. I can't hide it- it extends onto my face and neck- and my entire scalp is bright red with chunky white crusts on it.

I was having a massive flare up and I knew it looked awful. At work a customer pointed it out loudly and said it looked very sore. No shit, captain obvious. I ignored and tried not to show I was hurt.

But what upset me most is my friends/co-workers pointing it out and talking about it. They know I have a skin condition, they know it flares up, I dont know why they felt the need to point it out like this. They are the type who are blunt but actually just rude. They loudly said wtf is that on your head? I tried to hush it up and say its just psoriasis and its flared up and said I didnt want to talk about it. They made it obvious they were staring at it but scrunched up their faces in an eww way. They then kept talking about how "gross" it looked and asking silly things like can I catch it? is it an infection? (Whilst standing back from me in a joking way). I said no and that once again I didnt want to talk about it. But they kept at it and pointing out that some of the crusts had fallen out my hair and it looked like it was snowing on me. All while laughing and joking. Other colleagues then got involved and started preaching to me that their mom/dad/sister/cousin/labrador has dry skin and I NEED to use sudocrem. I told them that im under a dermatologist who is currently trying to shut down my immune system to stop this, and that sudocrem won't help, and as ive already said I dont want to discuss it. They kept at it, now at work im continually hit with questions like have you tried sudocrem yet? what about e45? have you thought about going to the doctors and asking for a steroid cream? have you tried going vegan? Well meaning but so fucking annoying especially as ive already said I down want to talk about it

I already knew it was bad so I dont know why this has hurt me so much but it really stung. I know they were just joking but I wanted to die on the spot and its confirmed what I already knew- that its obvious and fucking ugly. I just want to cry everyday now when I look in the mirror and im embarrassed at work, uni and everyday life now

I've got my graduation ball coming up and I just want to burst into tears thinking about it. I'm hideous, I look so ugly and its definitely noticeable. My friends and I have booked for a hairdresser to come and do our hair but its hit me that no matter what style I go for, it's going to be obvious and I can't hide it. I know I shouldn't have to but people judge and make comments and I just dont want to go anymore. But with covid this graduation ball is just about the only event we have had an Uni and whilst im so scared about going now and I know im going to look hideous, I feel so sad about not going. I've got other events too- birthday party, weddings, holidays with friends- I just feel so down and self conscious for it all now because this has confirmed what I already knew, that its obvious and really bad looking

I know nobody can really help me but does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this or has anyone experiences similar. Thanks x

OP mentions she’s already under the GP doing this

I have a friend with severe psoriasis. THANKFULLY, one of the newer meds did wonders for her, but she really suffered emotionally until the day when some well-meaning (???) person made a comment, and my friend replied, "Yeah. Psoriasis is a real bitch. I wouldn't even wish it on you." Shut that conversation right down.

OP (and other posters with similar issues) I would HIGHLY recommend getting your vitamin D levels checked.

I had very noticeable eczema on my neck, hands and arm for a few years, nothing topical (nor probiotics) seemed to help.

Found out through a blood test for something (AFAIK) completely unrelated and they were pretty shocked by how low my vitamin D levels were.

After a couple of months of very high-level supplements it had all completely disappeared. After stopping that course a while later a large patch of it was just starting to reappear on my arm, I randomly found a single leftover vit. D pill I hadn't taken, and the patch disappeared quite literally overnight.

I now take 10 micrograms a day and, touch wood, it hasn't really returned.

I appreciate that eczema is not the same thing, but these results for psoriasis seem pretty incredible: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2772613422000014

Wishing you all the best (and those co-workers sound vile, BTW ... sorry you have to deal with them).

I’m sorry people are being mean, I’ve only ever had mild eczema on my fingers and that was horrible. I follow a woman called bee.the brave, she has a skin condition and she is an inspiration. Try and have a watch on Instagram. You are not ugly you are not your condition. x

I have Rosacea, (skin condition)folk can be downright cruel. I don't mind people asking about it, as it's on my face, so when flare ups happen, it's obvious. Generally passing comment is not ok. It's hard, but let them your colleagues know that you don't appreciate them commenting on it. Also let your dermatologist know that confidence and mental health is being affected. Keep persisting with the treatment. Good luck.

Aww that's shocking the way u have been treated op, I can totally imagine how you must be feeling and I would probably feel the same, My late husband suffered from psoriasis and had it on his scalp too , we found a brilliant mouse Betamethasone based can't remember the actual name of the mousse don't know whether you have tried it , also found that creams didn't help but ointment did, on areas of skin where he had it , psoriasis is different on different people so many treatments don't know how long you've had it but one thing the stress your so called friends and your colleagues are causing you is not going to help it. Could you get a really good wig for your graduation. People really don't understand psoriasis it needs more awareness , then you get other people thinking you have cirrhosis 🙄🙄 Do hope you get sorted soon ditch your friends , I hope you have other more understanding ones

That mousse was called bettamousse lol obviously

Bettamousse is amazing but there has been shortages and can't seem to get it anywhere!

Potatowhale Oh no that's a shame have you tried the manufacturer direct, glad it at least works for you

I have an uncle who has a surname which sounds a very like a derogatory term which would be really easy for people to take the piss of. After his mum divorced his step father, he had the opportunity to change his surname to one which would allow him to fit in more, but he refused. He said that he could always tell who the arseholes were when he met people because they would take the piss of his surname, so he chose to use it as a way to gauge what people were really like.
My son is severely disabled and in a wheelchair, and I can always tell straight away what people are really like from how they react to my son. I jokingly say that he is my personal arsehole detector! Everywhere I go with him it's really easy to spot the decent people from the idiots!
If I were you I would regard this skin condition as a personal arsehole detector. It will show you very quickly who is worth having in your life, and who is not worth bothering about.

Sound like bxtches any chance you work in an office environment? You could always try a wig for graduation.

I had a birth mark on my face removed by 9 years old as people and kids where horrible and pointed it out. People think if you have a visible difference they can say what they want. Of course there are things to help it but help yourself and remember those people are the ones who are wrong. Wish someone told me so when I was little.

If I was you I’d invest in a beautiful wig for your do

It is not unreasonable to feel hurt in this situation. It’s actually soul destroying. I was in this situation with acne years ago. But it’s important to make you realise that you need to honor your body. Just because you can still manage to exist in a normal way doesn’t mean you don’t really need to focus on you and your health. Most importantly, remove all stress for a while. People are generally quite ignorant of your suffering and go off like it your own stupidity that caused your problem. And then proceed to give you very stupid advice. All I’m saying is you need to take good care of yourself and wrap yourself up in cotton wool and pay no mind to the heathens. Do an absolute shit load if research and accept that it might take you years to find a solution.

@Warriormum1 "....personal arsehole detector...."

Love it. 💕

Oh you poor love.
My partner has severe psoriasis. He’s 53 and suffered for most of his life. He’s had all the creams, UV light, everything. Nothing worked.

A few years ago he went on to a infusion that he has every 8 weeks called infliximab. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infliximab

It literally had an astonishing effect. Around week 6 he starts getting small patches usually around his elbows, knuckles, and backs of knees so we know when he’s due for another round of treatment. Within 2 days of the infusion, it’s gone.

I’ve been with him 11 years and never saw the bad side until Covid hit. The hospital cancelled his infusions and for approximately 9 months he didn’t have one. It got so bad, and so painful, he actually looked like a burns victim. It was horrendous for him. One woman in a supermarket actually yanked her son away from my partner and barked ‘don’t go near him, he’s infectious’. Now my partner is a no nonsense kinda guy and called her out on it, but that’s how some people are when they are as ignorant as fuck. I’m just glad I wasn’t there as I’d have been pretty vicious!

In November 2020 he finally had his first infusion after such a long break. In all honesty I thought he’d be in for a long haul back to some level of normality. I honestly was astounded by how quickly it cleared up. Within a week he was back to pre covid level of good skin.

I know it has to be done over a certain amount of weeks initially but once it’s in the system, it’s a wonder drug for psoriasis sufferers.

i hope you all the best OP. I would definitely speak to HR about the behaviour of staff towards you. But then I’ve got a pretty big gin, and would tall them to fuck off!

Hi Just wondering if you have spoken with HR and, if so whether they have been any help

I’m sorry to hear that you are surrounded by such insensitive people.
My dad has psoriasis and I believe that people generally don’t understand that it’s not contagious.
Sun and the salty water of the sea never fail to almost erase it from my dad’s body.
I also have to say that over the years it has shrunk a lot.
I hope that you go to the ball and have the best time 🌼

I am so sorry you have had to put up with these ignorant people. I’ve suffered with Psoriasis for most of my life and in my twenties it was very bad. It was improve, I’ve been on immune suppressant medication for 10 years know and my skin looks clear, if I stop the meds it comes back but don’t feel like things won’t improve as they will and you should carry on enjoying yourself and do all the things you have planned

I'd report that to HR OP. That's bullying. And horrendous bullying at that. Mocking your medical condition? Nasty nasty bullying.

I have severe eczema (under a derm too) it's horrendous and people don't get it.

I worked in a cafe as a teen and a hobby woman said she didn't want me near her food or her because I clearly had some kind of disgusting disease. She even asked if I was a drug addict! I was 16. Still sticks with me now.

You aren’t unreasonable to be hurt but because most people don’t mean to be hurtful they probably thought it looked a bit sore rather than ugly. Had they genuinely thought it was really ugly I’d bet they wouldn't have mentioned it.

• They loudly said wtf is that on your head? I tried to hush it up and say its just psoriasis and its flared up and said I didnt want to talk about it. They made it obvious they were staring at it but scrunched up their faces in an eww way. They then kept talking about how "gross" it looked and asking silly things like can I catch it? is it an infection? (Whilst standing back from me in a joking way).

Literally as if you read a different post.

Um did you read the original post?? As in...

"They made it obvious they were staring at it but scrunched up their faces in an eww way. They then kept talking about how "gross" it looked and asking silly things like can I catch it? is it an infection? (Whilst standing back from me in a joking way)"

Come on ...get real! They were just plain awful, unkind and horrible, no question,.

'My son is severely disabled and in a wheelchair, and I can always tell straight away what people are really like from how they react to my son. I jokingly say that he is my personal arsehole detector! Everywhere I go with him it's really easy to spot the decent people from the idiots!'

As the mother of my own disabled DS I think this is spot on @Warriormum1 my experience is much the same. We have long learned what type of people are not worth bothering with, and refuse to be hurt by them.

Absolutely!