to be so fucking hurt by them

[bumblebeesarecute]

I have hideous psoriasis. Im self conscious of it everyday- its like an outline of crusts all around my scalp. I can't hide it- it extends onto my face and neck- and my entire scalp is bright red with chunky white crusts on it.

I was having a massive flare up and I knew it looked awful. At work a customer pointed it out loudly and said it looked very sore. No shit, captain obvious. I ignored and tried not to show I was hurt.

But what upset me most is my friends/co-workers pointing it out and talking about it. They know I have a skin condition, they know it flares up, I dont know why they felt the need to point it out like this. They are the type who are blunt but actually just rude. They loudly said wtf is that on your head? I tried to hush it up and say its just psoriasis and its flared up and said I didnt want to talk about it. They made it obvious they were staring at it but scrunched up their faces in an eww way. They then kept talking about how "gross" it looked and asking silly things like can I catch it? is it an infection? (Whilst standing back from me in a joking way). I said no and that once again I didnt want to talk about it. But they kept at it and pointing out that some of the crusts had fallen out my hair and it looked like it was snowing on me. All while laughing and joking. Other colleagues then got involved and started preaching to me that their mom/dad/sister/cousin/labrador has dry skin and I NEED to use sudocrem. I told them that im under a dermatologist who is currently trying to shut down my immune system to stop this, and that sudocrem won't help, and as ive already said I dont want to discuss it. They kept at it, now at work im continually hit with questions like have you tried sudocrem yet? what about e45? have you thought about going to the doctors and asking for a steroid cream? have you tried going vegan? Well meaning but so fucking annoying especially as ive already said I down want to talk about it

I already knew it was bad so I dont know why this has hurt me so much but it really stung. I know they were just joking but I wanted to die on the spot and its confirmed what I already knew- that its obvious and fucking ugly. I just want to cry everyday now when I look in the mirror and im embarrassed at work, uni and everyday life now

I've got my graduation ball coming up and I just want to burst into tears thinking about it. I'm hideous, I look so ugly and its definitely noticeable. My friends and I have booked for a hairdresser to come and do our hair but its hit me that no matter what style I go for, it's going to be obvious and I can't hide it. I know I shouldn't have to but people judge and make comments and I just dont want to go anymore. But with covid this graduation ball is just about the only event we have had an Uni and whilst im so scared about going now and I know im going to look hideous, I feel so sad about not going. I've got other events too- birthday party, weddings, holidays with friends- I just feel so down and self conscious for it all now because this has confirmed what I already knew, that its obvious and really bad looking

I know nobody can really help me but does anyone have any advice on how to cope with this or has anyone experiences similar. Thanks x

If there’s a way to cope with ignorant, rude people like this I have no idea what it is. Not worked it out yet at 55. Maybe apart from “god you’re rude aren’t you?”

no help at all but you have my total sympathy as a fellow sufferer

Sorry you have to deal with such ignorant people , hope you manage to find something that will help , good luck x

Don't use this word lightly or often - but your co-workers sound like grade A CUNTS!

Fuck them, ignorant bastards.

I am so sorry they have made you feel this way OP, I really am. I have no doubt you have used a multitude of things for your psoriasis. I have mild psoriasis and also around my scalp line. I used a shampoo from Holland and Barrett recently that helps with the scales on wash day but by day 2 they have re-emerged again - have you tried putting Enstilar foam on your scalp?
My friend has really severe psoriasis and she has recently been approved for injections to help manage this. May be worth looking into?

Your co-workers are rude, selfish and ignorant and I am so very sorry they have gone out of their way to make you feel like this, makes me so angry.

Hi OP, didn’t want to read and run.

I’m really sorry your colleagues are being such incredible ignorant tools. Remember; your psoriasis can be managed but they are stuck with their ugly or uneducated personalities.

This is a REALLY good book about skin conditions in young people- also with a focus on the psychological impact, with some advice for managing it.

The dermatologist is a specialist in adolescent and young peoples chronic skin conditions (like psoriasis). She is a working NHS dermatologist in Oxford and I really rate her. You may find something helpful in it- sounds like your not-very-bright colleagues/ friends could do with a read of it too 😥

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Skin-conditions-young-people-comfortable/dp/0192895427/?encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=cpxUG&content-id=amzn1.sym.4720748e-6707-426d-bc04-5e035a36208f&pf_rd_p=4720748e-6707-426d-bc04-5e035a36208f&pf_rd_r=CHFMMF2TA16M7FV2KWG0&pd_rd_wg=KTRVd&pd_rd_r=051c2148-9955-4676-ae79-84af7845b294&ref=aufs_ap_sc_mbl

Congratulations on your forthcoming graduation op and fuck those people, bloody awful behaviour on their part.

@AlanJohnsonsBeemer probably because he isn’t being bullied and is happy and who wouldn’t be with a partner that has a peep show reference as their user name. If anyone is feeling pleased with themselves we still say whose the Johnson now in our house.

Oh you poor thing
I have it too, but not as severe as yours. Mine is on the back of my head, my hands and my elbows. I had a steroid injection into my shoulder a few weeks back (for frozen shoulder) and it's 90% cleared up my psoriasis which was a lovely side effect of the injection I wasn't expecting.

I don't have any advice, just sympathy.

I have psoriasis triggered by a traumatic birth years and years ago.

im sure you’ve tried everything.

however in case you haven’t, a juice fast took me from 90% covered )I looked like a burns victim) to about 10%

later on. Doing keto/ paleo really reduced it. I think the worst culprits are often what and sugar.

I’ve had years of covering up ankles knees elbows and back and it’s hard to feel attractive, i know. I have found that fake tan kind of helps to camouflage it or at least dampen down the brightness. It’s so bright, so hard to cover. Used to use foundation on my hands as well.

these days it’s under control mainly through diet. I also take probiotics every day which I think helps it to recede - maybe you could try that. I take optional extra, it takes a month to work and is pricey. About £30/month

sorry, Optibac extra! Off Amazon.

Don’t be sad - get mad!!! You have every right as much as anyone to enjoy your life and enjoy it free of taunts by twats. I would contact hr - I would be looking for an apology and education. What has been said it’s appalling.
my sister and dad have this - my other sister has full alopecia which she found very debilitating for several years but has accepted it now. I would recommend acupuncture to calm your immune system down,
you are more than your skin - but you need to believe this and respect your right to be happy and call out anyone that tries and denies you this.
a true friend or a decent person would not care about your skin.

Why are people so horrible? There is a sickness in the human race to point out difference and be cruel about it.

What horrible work colleagues - why are people so mean and nasty ?
Go to HR. Or your boss. Or your boss's boss if your boss is involved.
Tell them what's happened / happening.

You should not have to put up with it.

Could you get a job elsewhere ?

Itchingtotellyou is on Insta- a young woman with psoriasis, raising awareness of the condition. Worth a look.

Well they sound thick as sh*t. That was embarrassing on their part. I'm sorry that happened to you.

I’m so sorry, I have the worst ezcema I’ve ever experienced since I was a child at the moment and it’s making me not want to leave the house or see anyone so you are much braver than me. Congratulations on your graduation.

your colleagues sound awful, fuck ‘em!

You're experiencing unfair treatment at work- your colleagues may be well meaning; but they are harassing you. Your condition would meet the criteria for being a protected characteristic.

Please do speak with your manager or HR. If you don't feel able to speak with them, do you have an employee support line, or could you speak with ACAS?

Sorry that you are going through this- you have a right to be treated with dignity in your workplace

Your colleagues are bullying you. Complain to your manager-or go higher, if your manager is part of the problem. Your condition is likely to qualify as a disability and therefore as a protected characteristic under the Equality Act.

My daughter had it very badly for some years - she did the light program plus diet and now no longer suffers from it. It can also cause arthritis if on legs and arms.

So sorry that you have to work with such aholes. I actually would go and talk with HR about this as it is unacceptable. Congratulations on the graduation. I am sure the hairdresser will be able to do a style that will suit.

I'm so sorry OP. Do they think they're in the playground? Fuck 'em. Find some nice friends and go to the ball. Personally, I'd wear a wig for the ball, I think. Dolly Parton wears wigs! But she is a lovely person, and no-one notices the wigs because they see her smile first. Fuck 'em, and be like Dolly 🙂xx

I'm so sorry OP! This is actually workplace bullying. If you have a HR person it might help to have a chat with them. You absolutely shouldn't have to put up with this at work.

Bloody bastards. I also have psoraisis - the same sort as @Tulipacious - and it really gets me down sometimes and is unsightly. A friend of mine has the same sort as you and she wears lovely silk scarves tied very prettily when she is in flare-up mode. (She learned to tie them via you tube videos.)

We have to learn to live with it. However your colleagues' behaviour is unforgivable. Would they point at someone in a wheelchair? I also would raise with HR. They need educating about the condition.

@bumblebeesarecute it hurt because what they are doing is unkind. Please be under no illusions that your feelings in this are somehow wrong. They are being deliberately and consistently unkind.

I would complain to management about their behaviour.

I get flare ups on the top of my arms and the never ending questions about why I'm wearing long sleeves in summer (when they fucking well know because I've told them) are tiresome.

People can be so cruel for no reason at all ❤️💐

They are absolute knobs. Speak to your boss/HR, there is no way they don’t know how awful they are being.

You definitely need to go to HR about this. Write down times, dates, what was said and by whom. This is cruel and bullying behaviour and they need to be brought up on it. YANBU in the slightest.

I also have psoriasis. I've had a flare up recently that's responding well to Enstillar foam, but you can still see the red spots on my arms. It's literally everywhere else on my body as well except my neck and face cheeks, but it's hidden by hairnet and clothes. My colleagues have been nothing but kind to me about it. Some well intended advice about how to treat it, but nothing like your colleagues.

I hope your flare subsides soon, and know that you are still beautiful.

Absolute fuckers. I'm so sorry.

Also, if you would be willing to share photos or maybe a drawn picture so we have a better idea of location we might be able to suggest style ideas for you? Both hair and accessories?

Please though do not feel that you have to, only if your comfortable. Mumsnet is great for this kind of thing. ❤️