Friend

[Flute56]

There was another thread on this but it was a while ago so I thought I would make a new one. I have this friend who does not really bother with me very much. I do all the phoning and when it was her birthday I went to her house and gave her a present. She kept me at the front door and did not even invite me in. I thought that was pretty rude. I thought at least she would invite me in for a cup of tea considering I travelled quite a way to her house. I dont live that far from her but on that occasion I came from somewehre else. She always gives me a birthday card but I find her a bit secretive. She was not very well a while back but refused to say what the matter was and soemtimes she just says she is out and does not say wehre she has been. I sent her a video to watch as she showed an interest in it and even linked it to her wassap so she could just click on the link and that was 3 weeks ago and she still has not watched it. It makes me think I wasted my time. For my last birthday a year ago she took me out for a meal and paid for it. Big Deal. That was a one off.

You have literally portrayed yourself like that. Maybe take a little personal responsibility.

You did actually when OP said she is not

Do you really think that this is a decent way to respond to somebody who despite behaving in ways which to the rest of us, seems ridiculous, is very clearly neurodivergent and most definitely vulnerable.

Yup, what she said ^^ your family background doesn’t come into it. People have drawn conclusions about your based on your words and your actions. That’s on you.

OP, I am autistic and so are two of my children.
Nobody on here is saying you're definitely autistic, and in any case, it truly isn't an insult if you are.
You demonstrate some rigid patterns of thinking and responding (on all your threads - I've read them all now) and personally, I recognize some traits in you which I have myself - and many traits which make me think very much of my sons.
I was not diagnosed until quite late in life and the diagnosis has unlocked the mystery of why my life and relationships have gone the way they have, why people think I'm eccentric and why I usually don't "fit in".
I would encourage you to explore the possibility of autism in yourself as a way of understanding why you don't always understand the way you respond to people, and they to you.

My mother had rigid thinking patterns but she was not autistic

You don't know that OP. I've seen women in their 70s get a diagnosis

I had a "friend" a bit like this - intrusive questions, too many expectations, too much hard work. Whatever her reasons for this are, I filed her away in the 'polite but distant' corner of my brain as I can't cope with that level of intrusion. Friendship is supposed to be easy and fun.

Was she actually assessed for autism, though?
You're in your late fifties now, so your mother was probably born in the 1930s. Women of that generation were almost never assessed.

Ok i thunk its time to drop this thread now, i wo t be contributing to it anymore

I thunk you are wise.

If you are interested in the possibility of ASD, @Flute56, you can ask your GP for an assessment, via right to choose. I've just done so and am now waiting. If you are curious, it might be worse talking to your GP before putting the forms in. This is the link my GP gave me:

psychiatry-uk.com/right-to-choose-asd/

* worth* talking to your GP!

Why do you keep inviting her ? You must love her company - why did you give her the left overs ?

from her point of view your a lovely friend - but you think she’s a piss taker but won’t say it to her or allow his to continue by inviting her

are you really good friends ?

You and your neighbhour seem to be alike - both lonely stick to her rather than friend

i am not lonely.

Only explanation really as you seem to want to keep the friendship with this person even though you complain on here about them - you must need her friendship . Maybe you should stop trying so hard with her - feeding her etc letting her come over as clearly your put out . Remember , you are allowing her to treat you like this because you are giving the impression open house hospitality etc draw some boundaries - you might not like it but it’s true she doesn’t need to change you do .

I have got rid of her. I do not need her end of conversation.

At least you still have next doors eh ? Night night

You make it sound as if I have no other friends which is not true and I found your comment a bit patronising so I think we will end things here bye

Don’t take the comments from the randoms too seriously. You sound like a lovely friend!

No.

You said your ending the conv about three times yet keep coming back ? You started the conversation and asked others - I think it will be over when you delete the thread not when you decide you can’t handle it . 🧐

“Ok i thunk its time to drop this thread now, i wo t be contributing to it anymore”

I thunk you should delete it no one cares that much 🤷🏻‍♀️

Says the person who restarted an old thread 🙄

Actually quite a few caring people have commented.

Are you feeling badly? You’ve not been nice and usually that’s a good sign.