'A woman's prime is between 18-26'

[lough]

AIBU to be annoyed at DP saying this? He's arguing it not from an opinion, but from a 'biological' viewpoint and when a woman is most appealing to men from a biological standpoint.

I am in this age range but bordering on the end of it and having such a crisis about aging anyway (which I HATE because I can't understand why women have this pressure that MEN do not and believe that it is predominantly a societal thing). He disagrees and says it's not a societal influence at all and solely biological and that 'most men' would agree that this is the age a female is 'in her prime'.

(To add, I'd like to think I'm not in my prime now before 25 as I'd be sorely disappointed 🤣).
Surely his black/white perspective of this is wrong? It just annoys me but possibly because I'm so into feminism.

I also conceived all dc the first time trying in my early/mid 30s

Did he mention his own ‘peak’ is a mere 4 years later?

unlikely funny enough this is always overlooked

Men do feel pressure about aging. Untrue to say otherwise.

I dunno OP. I just think you are upset because fundamentally you agree with him, that aging is a bad sad thing you don't like and that you are justified to feel very unhappy about it. If you didn't hold that belief then you wouldn't care what he says because you'd know he's wrong / misguided.

You probably can't change what he thinks, but you can choose what you believe.

Depends what you refer to as prime.

Going out on the lash?
Looking your best?
Being the happiest?
Starting a family and marriage?
Prime in your career?

Aspects I agree with him.
Aspects I strongly disagree. It's about perspective. He sounds a dick though.

A woman's prime from who's perspective. A man's?

Do women not get a say in this?

That says a hell of a lot about your DP and how long he sees your shelf life. He's telling you, you are close to your sell by date and you better appreciate him and suck up to him and be grateful to him if he sticks with you past then...

It's massively unattractive in a man to say that.

funnily enough he believed that men don't tend to have a strong 'prime' because their fertility can continue for so much longer (which he believes is why so many men in their 40s are attractive to younger women

that's not true, sperm quality really does decline.

haha! love this- tell him this

This

There is a reason why sperm banks have an age cut off. If I were trying to have a baby I'd choose a man of 25 over a man of 35+. Old men's sperm can cause a lot of problems to mum and baby. Please tell your 'D'P this.

Same, @Talkingtomyhouseplants . I looked far better in my 30’s than in my 20’s. In my 20’s, I was v. slim and abit gawky-looking and I didn’t dress as well. I’m now in my 40’s and still look pretty good, quite frankly!

He’s right, objectively. Just because it feels ‘unfair’ doesn’t mean he’s wrong.

which he believes is why so many men in their 40s are attractive to younger women

They're really not, to many women. I'd have been grossed out by a man in his forties when I was younger.

Prime for what OP? These years are a woman's prime for childbearing. Not anything else.

For teaching, caring for people, doing research, making art, running a service, most things in life, you get better with practice and since you'll go on acquiring practice you'll ho on improving oast 25.

I think you're right to dislike the comment as it reduces women to their reproductive role. Something rarely done to men.

This. 100 x over.

YABU, because regarding fertility and aesthetics our prime is indeed within this range. I understand you’re a feminist but those are facts, in the same way women are in average shorter and “weaker” in physical strenght when compared to men, for example. I am 100% sure I am “less pretty” today than 10 years ago, so in that aspect I am in decline, of course I am at my prime in other aspects of myself, and beauty is not everything in a relationship bla bla bla but it holds value (I don’t agree with people that get married and let themselves go, I think some basic standards should always apply, but I digress). I don’t know the context where he said that to tell if you he was trying to be a dick, that is a whole other story and always possible!

I’m afraid I agree with him!! I met DH when I was 27 and he definitely got me on the downward trajectory 😂

Agree. When I was in my 20s I wouldn’t date men in mid 30s let alone over 40. Myself and all my friends dated people of similar ages. Seems like he really wants to believe this 😂

Also they don't seem to realise that women can shag much younger men if they want to, but most of us don't.

I'm mid 30s, If I wanted to I could find a new man age 18-25 every single night for the next year but I don't because I'm not gross.

I could also no doubt sleep with many men who are mid 30s to mid 40s if I wanted to but no doubt I would be let down multiple times by men with no sexual stamina/erectile dysfunction and probably many with weird emotional issues 😂

Men take the rare opportunities they're given and then conclude that older men are all sought after by lots of younger women 😂

But the truth is that 'dick is abundant and of low value' so women have far more opportunities, are generally desired by far more people, younger, same age AND older but we can't be arsed with most of them.

Most of us women will go for the same age or older men, not because they're more physically attractive or look like they're at peak health, because objectively they're not, but it's because we often just won't consider younger men for various reasons.

Well he isn't wrong is he.

Young adults are more physically attractive than older ones, on average. That's no secret. But the same is true of blokes.

I was certainly more malleable then and easier to control. That’s what these types of men really mean.

Im afraid men’s fertility isn’t a super power either - once your partner is over 35, healthy successful pregnancies are less likely due to the poor quality of an ageing man’s sperm.

These types of men don’t generally like hearing that for some reason. They don’t tend to gel well with women who are ‘so into feminism’ over time either.

😂

Have to say this tickled me. Mainly because it's actually what I see among my age group (40s).

But the truth is that 'dick is abundant and of low value' so women have far more opportunities, are generally desired by far more people, younger, same age AND older but we can't be arsed with most of them.

Indeed. Hence the negging they do...

It's hardly a black and white opinion is it. He's given quite a wide range and yes, I'd say the majority (iver 50%) of straight men would say women ARE physically in their prime from 18-26. I'm a straight woman and I agree. From a physical point of view it would probably be the best time to have children too.
You haven't said how the conversation came about but sounds like he has tried to appease you, as 26 sounds a really odd age to pick and just happens to be older than you. Would you feel happier or worse is the range was widened and he said 14-30! 🤔
You have said yourself that you are having a crisis due to aging so it seems you agree in a way.
I think you might actually be upset because that what he hasn't been able to articulate is 'most' men would/could be sexually aroused by an 18 year old girl/woman but they value maturity, self awareness, life experience, style etc above 'fuckability. They also understand women can be physically attractive way passed menopause.

Absolutely this. When I was 21, I thought 30 was ancient.