'A woman's prime is between 18-26'

[lough]

AIBU to be annoyed at DP saying this? He's arguing it not from an opinion, but from a 'biological' viewpoint and when a woman is most appealing to men from a biological standpoint.

I am in this age range but bordering on the end of it and having such a crisis about aging anyway (which I HATE because I can't understand why women have this pressure that MEN do not and believe that it is predominantly a societal thing). He disagrees and says it's not a societal influence at all and solely biological and that 'most men' would agree that this is the age a female is 'in her prime'.

(To add, I'd like to think I'm not in my prime now before 25 as I'd be sorely disappointed 🤣).
Surely his black/white perspective of this is wrong? It just annoys me but possibly because I'm so into feminism.

Yeah my partner said the same!

He was talking about sexual prime, and (can’t remember the exact ages) but a man’s was in their late teens and a woman’s was in their 30s/40s.

We were both in our early 20s at the time.

He believes women's 'prime' is when they are useful and attractive to men.

I believe that women's prime is always. And actually there's fairly good evolutionary evidence (including our longer life spans) that women's 'use' to humanity lasts far longer than men's. Men typically would die pretty much when they couldn't hunt any more. Women go onwards as caretakers, security and wisdom-carriers. One of the theories about why insomnia in menopause is a thing is that older women would protect the camp/village overnight. Sleeping soundly was for the young, who would need to hunt/gather the next day.

Also agree with the biological cuckolding theory above. Women (and other animals) are more likely to cheat when ovulating. In the case of bluebirds, with the biggest, bluest birdie. In our case with the hottest bloke. I hope he likes that biologically.

It's no accident that our brains work most logically after 25 when our bodies start to decline. Hopefully you are clever and getting cleverer. Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

Whereas men who think like your husband, are never really attractive to women at any point in their life.

He’s telling you that he’s a perv who will be staring at 18 year olds. He would be deeply unattractive and repulsive to me.

Men can carry on reproducing for way longer than woman.

Who benefits by a handful of men being able to grunt their way through a shag and make a baby at 70?

🤣 My thoughts exactly!

Probably true. 18-30. Which bit of this do you not like? And why?

Yes but it's poor quality sperm.

Women reach their sexual peak (of satisfaction, enjoyment etc) in their 30s: https://www.instyle.com/lifestyle/hump-day-dirty-30s-sexual-prime

I’m 37 and can concur with this :D

No link to support, but I’ve also heard the stat that men’s sexual peak is 18 - poor dears start to lose stamina after that!

I’m way past my prime, but happier post-prime than at peak-prime, when I was miserable.

THIIIIIS!

I think women and men both peak late 20s - early 30s. They carry themselves with more confidence than younger people and still look youthful.

Women's fertility doesn't really start to decline until 35. The quality of sperm gradually starts to decline not long after.

I think your average British man at 40 is no more attractive than your average 40 year old woman. If anything, the fact men don't care about aging as much means that they tend to let themselves go - not to mention receding hairlines. I'm sure I read that men are more likely to be obese in their 40s than women too.

Put it this way, no woman in her 20s would choose a man in his 40s over a 30 year old man if they were equal in all other ways. 40 year old men are not as attractive and therefore peaked earlier.

All this said, a lot of women in their 40s are incredibly beautiful and I think part of that beauty comes from self acceptance.

THIS. I hit mine at 40, still in it 8 years later. Grey hair and a less defined waistline and a few lines don't make me or anyone less awesome.

It's such nonsense, OP. It's a man's perspective of when you are supposed to be most attractive and fertile. From a woman's perspective, one's prime can be at any time, or all the time. I consider I'm at my prime now from a 'take no shit' perspective now I'm late 60s!

I guess from a biological standpoint he has a point. But you’re not a breeding heifer you’re a human being with wisdom, experience, purpose, humour, self awareness, a career, a sense of style and many other things that in my opinion/experience will improve way more in your 30s compared to your 20s! If he didn’t also acknowledge those he needs to make it up to you 😂

In terms of sexual attractiveness to men? Probably true, although depends on the man. But that isn’t what a woman’s ‘prime’ is.

In my own experience and from talking to friends, women are often much, much happier when they’re past their peak sexual attractiveness to men.

Oh and one final thing, men are bloody awful at guessing women's ages in general. So they might think they are looking at a 22 year old, when in fact she is 30!

My DH can't even tell if I'm wearing make-up!

I wouldn't worry about growing older. There is so much more to life.

He's a moron. Leave him.

Well quite. When younger women are attracted to older men, it's not because of them being older, it's what they've gained in the time they've had - money, confidence, sexual experience, perhaps even the ability to talk to and listen to women as if they were human beings rather than fuck machines. If a man is the same useless, gormless, going nowhere twat he was in his forties as he was in his twenties, a few grey hairs are not going to make that a more appealing prospect.

I would dump him because of this.

We all know that women are more fertile in their 20s/early 30s but women are more than just walking wombs and vaginas...

For me being in your ''prime'' is being happy with yourself and your life/achievements, confident and wise enough to not give a fuck about what men think of you.

What your partner said is the type of language that I associate with incels and misogynists in general...

Physically I was in my prime in my twenties. I was thinner ect but Iv had two kids and I guess what I'm learning now is that my value and worth isn't tied up in how many men stare at me and think I'm hot. He's not wrong from a physical stand point but that's not the complete picture. A woman isn't just a baby making machine to purely please men. I was an idiot in my younger years. My life experience has made me a far more interesting person.

What a pathetic little sexist dickhead.

If you don’t dump him now, you’re in for worse to come. At points where you feel much more vulnerable.

He is showing you how toxic and sexist his thinking is: run.

Well, I'm 28, so obviously there's no point in me still being alive. I'm done.

Someone push me off a cliff onto a pointy rock, Midsommar style.

😂

Most women in their 40s look hot, confident and definitely in their prime, most men in their 40s look like walking flabby ballsacks.

OK there is some good evidence of some behaviour patterns that are relevant here.

All other factors being equal, the age group of men that women find most attractive tends to go up as the women age. By contrast all other factors being equal men tend to continue to find women of the same age group the most attractive even as they age.

The all other factors being equal is imho a pretty crucial step to miss out / gloss over. This research is also based on fast first impression responses to images rather than getting to know the person so also a fairly superficial measure of a woman's worth.

Basically even men in the oldest category continue to think women in the youngest category are the most attractive. This is an attribute of the behaviour and sexual attraction of men. Where your OH is being (v) unreasonable imho is equating men's preference for static images of silent women they don't know with what women are actually worth or what their value 'is' or should be.