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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend told daughter to 'fuck off and die'

419 replies

leepingup · 16/04/2023 17:20

My daughter and her friend are both 10, unbeknownst to me yesterday whilst I was in the shower, they pranked called a few of my friends. I found out because one of my friends text me to tell me. I said no more and that was that.

This morning daughter says to me, 'when we prank called your friend, 'Pete' he told us to 'fuck off and die' three times.'

I wasn't really sure how to handle the situation as they obviously shouldn't have been prank calling but also I think it's pretty obvious they are children.

So I text Pete and the messages went like this -

Me - Hey did you say to Amelia to go fuck herself and die yesterday, she said her and her friend prank called you yesterday, I didn’t know. Did you not realise it was her I presume? Xx

Pete - I didn't until she said her name!!! My intuition was right!!!

I don't really know what he means but I feel really uncomfortable about this.

Am I being dramatic? Should I leave it at that? Is it their own fault for prank calling?

OP posts:
Jonei · 16/04/2023 18:25

Londongal123 · 16/04/2023 18:10

When people hear go fuck yourself and die it means they want the other person to die. So I should have said suicide or murder should never be joked about.

No it doesn't mean that at all.

It doesn't literally mean fuck yourself and die.

It does mean go away and don't ring back again.

You know that though don't you.

You know really that Pete doesn't want little Amelia to die.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 16/04/2023 18:25

@TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed DD is only 11. She's not a baby, she's also not a dick. But she actually gets consequences for her behaviour.

DHsPoorBack · 16/04/2023 18:26

SecretiveSquirrel · 16/04/2023 17:46

Having read the thread, OP I see why your daughter did this. You sound like one of those indulgent parents where your kid can do no wrong. I expect you won’t learn anything from this thread.

Focus on teaching your daughter the difference between black and white. Ten is very young for this behaviour. Hopefully an adult in her life can guide her to learning from this.

This.

This thread hasn't really gone they way you'd planned...

You were hoping for everyone to be up in arms, weren't you OP.

Except the general consensus is that your DD acted very badly, and that should be your real focus. Except you don't want to hear that.

Sort your DD out. You won't. But you should.

GoodChat · 16/04/2023 18:26

TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed · 16/04/2023 18:20

This thread is bonkers and quite upsetting. sometimes parents of very young children see ten year olds as being much more mature than they are. But when your kids are older (like mine) you realise that ten year olds are still babies. That’s the only thing I can think of to explain the comments!

Pete sounds aggressive and unpleasant and I wouldn’t remain friends with him.

10 year olds are not babies ffs

NumberTheory · 16/04/2023 18:26

It was a nasty thing to say to 10 year olds, but as a one off in response to duress, unlikely to have much of a negative impact on the kid.

I don’t expect my non-parent friends to know to adjust their communication to kids. I think our society separates kids off far too much to expect non-parents to have much of an idea of how different a 10 year old’s understanding and maturity is. So I wouldn’t think it was indicative of him being an awful person, just one who’s somewhat ignorant on this subject.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 16/04/2023 18:26

TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed · 16/04/2023 18:22

And I don’t think it’s a good idea to teach your DD to apologise to someone who tells her to fuck off and die. That would not be a good life lesson at all.

He wouldn't have said that if she hadn't been a brat and prank called him multiple times.

Why on earth shouldn't she apologise for her actions?

VeronicaTimeTurner · 16/04/2023 18:26

AprilFool23 · 16/04/2023 18:18

MN is nuts today lol.

The other threads are the same.

Well they're all back at school tomorrow aren't they?! 😉

TipsyAndTommy · 16/04/2023 18:27

If my child took my phone and started calling random contacts to prank them I would be fuming with her.

I would have contacted everyone she had to apologise.

I'd have told her people being rude when you annoy them first is pretty par for the course.

What I would not have done was start pulling people up for how they dealt with being pranked!

What time were the calls made and how many did Pete receive?

Bluekerfuffle · 16/04/2023 18:28

Am I being dramatic? Should I leave it at that? Is it their own fault for prank calling?

Why ask, as judging by your replies you obviously don’t think you’re being dramatic or it’s their own fault?

leepingup · 16/04/2023 18:28

Sux2buthen · 16/04/2023 18:24

OP, is it in fact you that is ten?

Yes you got me

OP posts:
mbosnz · 16/04/2023 18:28

My 'kids' are going on 18 and 20. I would have had a fairly robust response to them behaving in such a way, and would have very little sympathy or shock that they got cussed out as a result. Ten years old is more than old enough to have been taught better, and know better.

RiktheButler · 16/04/2023 18:29

How did so many people make it to adulthood without hearing (and using) the expression "fuck off and die"?
Weird how the op hasn't confirmed that her precious darling has apologised/been punished

PinotPony · 16/04/2023 18:30

TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed · 16/04/2023 18:20

This thread is bonkers and quite upsetting. sometimes parents of very young children see ten year olds as being much more mature than they are. But when your kids are older (like mine) you realise that ten year olds are still babies. That’s the only thing I can think of to explain the comments!

Pete sounds aggressive and unpleasant and I wouldn’t remain friends with him.

Nope. I've got teenagers and, if they'd prank called my friend at 10 years old, I'd have told them off for that behaviour and made them apologise. I certainly wouldn't be getting arsey with my friend.

#TeamPete

Butterflyfluff · 16/04/2023 18:31

OP, if your DD was using your phone then surely the people she called knew who was calling - or at least expected it to be you.

Sounds like Pete was telling you to fuck off and die as he’s a bit fed up with you TBH

Gondala · 16/04/2023 18:31

What Pete said wasn't OK but you don't know what else is going on in his life. He may not have actually thought it was your daughter and felt intimidated.

You sound very lax. You need to nip this in the bud before her behaviour gets even worse. She shouldn't have access to phones and your contact list. She could have called your boss, the police or really intimidated your friends. You may lose friends over this if you don't apologise. If actions don't have consequences, her behaviour will get worse and she won't always be 10.

I8toys · 16/04/2023 18:31

PinotPony · 16/04/2023 18:30

Nope. I've got teenagers and, if they'd prank called my friend at 10 years old, I'd have told them off for that behaviour and made them apologise. I certainly wouldn't be getting arsey with my friend.

#TeamPete

This in spades. #TeamPete

DHsPoorBack · 16/04/2023 18:32

leepingup · 16/04/2023 18:28

Yes you got me

Going to address your kids lousy behaviour, or just going to gloss over the many posters asking if you've made her apologise?

Can't respond about that for some reason? we all know the reason

Seeline · 16/04/2023 18:32

How many calls did your DD make?
And how many to Pete?

I hope you have told her that prank calls are unacceptable. It's kids like this that end up wasting time and money by making hysterical calls to 999.

leepingup · 16/04/2023 18:33

I honestly didn't think prank calls were that big a deal which warranted apologies. Of course if they were phoning others in their class bullying/winding up, that's one thing. But they called grown adults asking if they wanted to buy a cat. It doesn't seem that serious. Of course I've told her it won't happen again or there will be consequences but I don't think it's a massive deal like y'all are making out.

OP posts:
BringtheJury · 16/04/2023 18:34

Also, you know he didn't mean it literally. If someone says 'piss off' they don't expect the person to run away with wee running down their legs !

Sisisimone · 16/04/2023 18:34

TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed · 16/04/2023 18:20

This thread is bonkers and quite upsetting. sometimes parents of very young children see ten year olds as being much more mature than they are. But when your kids are older (like mine) you realise that ten year olds are still babies. That’s the only thing I can think of to explain the comments!

Pete sounds aggressive and unpleasant and I wouldn’t remain friends with him.

Completely agree. Some of these responses are awful.

leepingup · 16/04/2023 18:34

leepingup · 16/04/2023 18:33

I honestly didn't think prank calls were that big a deal which warranted apologies. Of course if they were phoning others in their class bullying/winding up, that's one thing. But they called grown adults asking if they wanted to buy a cat. It doesn't seem that serious. Of course I've told her it won't happen again or there will be consequences but I don't think it's a massive deal like y'all are making out.

Or emergency services

OP posts:
TorchwoodWho · 16/04/2023 18:34

My 7 year old niece knows this is awful and embarrassing behaviour. I wouldn't be impressed if my kids did it when they're older (but then again I'm different to OP in that I don't think everyone will tolerate my little angels being "spirited"!).

Also #TeamPete

Daisybuttercup12345 · 16/04/2023 18:35

Parent your kid properly. She sounds a little shit.

GoodChat · 16/04/2023 18:36

What else did they say, OP?

They obviously didn't end the call after asking if they wanted to buy a cat.