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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I inadvertently disrespected someone's religion

157 replies

LondonElle · 15/04/2023 13:39

Was out shopping today with a Friend and our children and noticed the gentleman in front of me car keys fall out of his pocket and him and his wife didn't notice, the queue was moving fast and I didn't want them being stepped on or lost so I tried to get his attention, I said excuse me gently at first and then louder but I couldn't attract him or his wife's attention, so I lightly tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to they keys he had dropped. He looked aghast and shouted at me... I was quite taken aback he then grabbed the keys but looked fuming with me.
My friend who I was with said that it may be because of his religion, (his wife was dressed in a burka and had her face covered) and the fact that as a female I shouldn't have touched him... I genuinely didn't know this was the case and didn't know how else to have caught his attention as they were about to walk off prior to me pointing out the keys... I feel a bit awful now like I disrespected someone's religion inadvertently. Am I really that much or an ignorant person?

OP posts:
SleepHygieneHelp · 15/04/2023 13:41

You were trying to help them. I wouldn't worry too much that you may have inadvertently offended them. You weren't to know ifs off limits in their religion

OhTinyBear · 15/04/2023 13:42

He was just a dickhead. You’d tried to get his attention multiple times. If he would rather you’d just let him walk off and lose his keys, then that’s on him, but you just did what most normal people do in that situation. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Antigonads · 15/04/2023 13:43

Pity you didn’t just ignore the keys then. Rude bastard.

KnottyKnitting · 15/04/2023 13:43

Absolutely no excuse for that- religion or no- you were helping him and he was bloody rude.

Albiboba · 15/04/2023 13:45

In what way did he shout at you?

Botw1 · 15/04/2023 13:45

He sounds like a prick

Why on earth would you care about offending someone so rude?

JaneFondue · 15/04/2023 13:46

Please. He was a jerk.

Original poster
LondonElle · 15/04/2023 13:46

Albiboba · 15/04/2023 13:45

In what way did he shout at you?

He looked at me and raised his voice directly at me saying no.

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 15/04/2023 13:47

No, I don't think you did. Being rude and ungrateful to someone who is trying to help you is not in line with the teachings of any religion.

It might have been nothing to do with his religion. E.g. he might have PTSD or something and reacted unreasonably to the trigger of being touched unexpectedly.

There is no real reason to assume that his reaction had anything to do with the fact that he was Muslim.

Original poster
LondonElle · 15/04/2023 13:48

I am far too sensitive I think and always thought I was respectful towards other religions so it just took me aback.

OP posts:
CremeEggThief · 15/04/2023 13:49

You were trying to help. YABU to give this any more head space.

JaneFondue · 15/04/2023 13:49

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Luredbyapomegranate · 15/04/2023 13:50

He’s a rude arsehole OP

Just be glad you aren’t his wife and forgot it

OoooohMatron · 15/04/2023 13:51

Quite honestly I wouldn't give a shit if I had offended him. You were being nice and he acted like a twat.

Mabelface · 15/04/2023 13:55

This isn't about his religion, but about him being an arsehole. A very rude one. You were being helpful, he was being a twat.

UnsolicitedOpinions · 15/04/2023 13:55

You shouldn’t get worried that by being a nice helpful person you’ve offended someone because their religion likes to treat women like second class citizens.

Don’t change any of your behaviour due to this and don’t give it any more thought other than “what a gigantic arsehole.”

Saniflo · 15/04/2023 13:59

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Exactly. We all should stop pandering towards religions. It is madness. They are all equally ridiculous.

CoffeeCantata · 15/04/2023 14:00

Op - you did a kind thing and from what you write, I can't see how any reasonable person could have been offended, religious or not. As other pps have said, this man sounds awful and is probably just not a nice person.

But...and I'm really not getting at you here - thinking more of other threads and comments I've read recently - the title of your post highlighted (to me) the very unfair treatment of various religions on MN. Many posters here seem very happy to insult Christians...not so much other religions, which must be respected, it often seems.

And for clarity - I'm an atheist, but this inconsistent attitude jumps out at me.

FitAt50 · 15/04/2023 14:05

He sound like a very strict muslim. Islam forbids men from touching women apart from close relatives. Its also ramdam so he might have been over sensitive due that. Still a bit of a dick.

JMSA · 15/04/2023 14:06

He's a bloody idiot, OP. Most people would have been falling over themselves to thank you!

Botw1 · 15/04/2023 14:08

@CoffeeCantata

If a Christian acted the way the man in the op did, I'd think they were a prick too.

Albiboba · 15/04/2023 14:08

@CoffeeCantata Many posters here seem very happy to insult Christians...not so much other religions, which must be respected, it often seems.
And yet basically every comment says he’s an arsehole so this doesn’t really stack up.

CoffeeCantata · 15/04/2023 14:25

Albiboba · Today 14:08
@CoffeeCantata Many posters here seem very happy to insult Christians...not so much other religions, which must be respected, it often seems.
And yet basically every comment says he’s an arsehole so this doesn’t really stack up.

Agreed - on this thread. But I've seen a different tone on other recent ones.

Honestly, I've no personal axe to grind - I'm not religious - but you do see 'Christian' used very disparagingly a lot of the time (and of course, it's a huge generalisation) where if you substituted another religious community it would be unacceptable. I don't believe in insulting anyone's religion - just to be quite clear about that - but I don't like inconsistency.

Singapore4 · 15/04/2023 14:27

Antigonads · 15/04/2023 13:43

Pity you didn’t just ignore the keys then. Rude bastard.

Yes. I would of have to tell him and his wife that her husband is a rude person. Gosh the thanks you got OP..

ReadersD1gest · 15/04/2023 14:27

Saniflo · 15/04/2023 13:59

Exactly. We all should stop pandering towards religions. It is madness. They are all equally ridiculous.

Show quote history

Yeah, see this is equally offensive, actually. Why make such an inflammatory comment if not for childlike attention?