Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I inadvertently disrespected someone's religion

157 replies

LondonElle · 15/04/2023 13:39

Was out shopping today with a Friend and our children and noticed the gentleman in front of me car keys fall out of his pocket and him and his wife didn't notice, the queue was moving fast and I didn't want them being stepped on or lost so I tried to get his attention, I said excuse me gently at first and then louder but I couldn't attract him or his wife's attention, so I lightly tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to they keys he had dropped. He looked aghast and shouted at me... I was quite taken aback he then grabbed the keys but looked fuming with me.
My friend who I was with said that it may be because of his religion, (his wife was dressed in a burka and had her face covered) and the fact that as a female I shouldn't have touched him... I genuinely didn't know this was the case and didn't know how else to have caught his attention as they were about to walk off prior to me pointing out the keys... I feel a bit awful now like I disrespected someone's religion inadvertently. Am I really that much or an ignorant person?

OP posts:
AnElegantChaos · 15/04/2023 15:37

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves Yes, exactly.

Obki · 15/04/2023 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Elopelo · 15/04/2023 15:40

Hi OP like some previous Muslim posters have mentioned, you did a very kind thing. Please do not think you have done something offensive or disrespectful.

We would describe ourselves as a traditional ‘Strict’ Muslim family and there is no way any of the men in my family would behave like that if a lady was so kind as to point out to us that our keys were on the floor. Yes unrelated males and females do not touch but you were trying to help him, not come onto him!

I can’t say why he reacted like that to you. At the very least he should have said thank you. I’m sorry you had to experience that. Not all of us are like that I promise.

ProudMuslima · 15/04/2023 15:40

Singapore4 · 15/04/2023 15:31

No. As an ethnic person and grandparents 1st generation born I am not struggling to comprehend your point. I have given you the other side of the coin. I didn't mention anybody religion nor clothing. YOU don't seem to like I have pointed out the man's shit behaviour on the back of someone else's post. NOT because of a religion which is potential like you keep on saying.

Don't start getting arsey because I have gave my opinion. You must have a chip on your shoulder. I'm ethnic minority... so don't start turning this into a race thing. Cheers!

Show quote history

@Singapore4 FYI Islam is a religion, not an ethnicity or race 🙄

Singapore4 · 15/04/2023 15:43

@ProudMuslima I'm well aware. How did you know I'm not Islamic? Don't assume things and while your at it wind your neck in.

I haven't stated my religion for a reason. Miss know it all.

Jonei · 15/04/2023 15:45

He sounds rude and disrespectful. I wouldn't worry about offending him. I'd be more annoyed that he though he had the right to raise his voice to you.

ProudMuslima · 15/04/2023 15:47

Singapore4 · 15/04/2023 15:43

@ProudMuslima I'm well aware. How did you know I'm not Islamic? Don't assume things and while your at it wind your neck in.

I haven't stated my religion for a reason. Miss know it all.

@Singapore4 your religion is irrelevant to me. I was correcting you because you seem to confuse religion and race/ ethnicity. Simply reading back what you wrote would clarify what I mean 😉

Obki · 15/04/2023 15:48

Singapore4 · 15/04/2023 15:43

@ProudMuslima I'm well aware. How did you know I'm not Islamic? Don't assume things and while your at it wind your neck in.

I haven't stated my religion for a reason. Miss know it all.

How did you know I'm not Islamic?

I think because people who believe in Islam call themselves Muslims, not Islamics.

LakeTiticaca · 15/04/2023 15:49

He sounds like a twat. Religion doesn't mean people can act like that. Forget it

Tinkerbyebye · 15/04/2023 15:51

You were trying to help them. I would have done the same

Goodoccasionallypoor · 15/04/2023 15:51

His reaction would not be a standard or socially acceptable response to any Muslim I know.

I think this would be considered more of an awkward faux pas but the intention was kind, and my understanding of Islam is that the intention behind actions is very important.

He just sounds like a rude and aggressive man who would find any excuse to behave this way.

DojaPhat · 15/04/2023 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

goldfinchfan · 15/04/2023 15:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

DojaPhat · 15/04/2023 15:54

Goodoccasionallypoor · 15/04/2023 15:51

His reaction would not be a standard or socially acceptable response to any Muslim I know.

I think this would be considered more of an awkward faux pas but the intention was kind, and my understanding of Islam is that the intention behind actions is very important.

He just sounds like a rude and aggressive man who would find any excuse to behave this way.

Yes but if we are to accept that then what about all the people who were looking forward to some light Saturday afternoon muslim-bashing?

Goodoccasionallypoor · 15/04/2023 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What is the English culture?

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 15/04/2023 15:55

Singapore4 · 15/04/2023 15:31

No. As an ethnic person and grandparents 1st generation born I am not struggling to comprehend your point. I have given you the other side of the coin. I didn't mention anybody religion nor clothing. YOU don't seem to like I have pointed out the man's shit behaviour on the back of someone else's post. NOT because of a religion which is potential like you keep on saying.

Don't start getting arsey because I have gave my opinion. You must have a chip on your shoulder. I'm ethnic minority... so don't start turning this into a race thing. Cheers!

Show quote history

Your ethnicity is irrelevant. You clearly did not understand the point of my post because your responses make absolutely no sense if you did.

There was no need to "give me the other side of the coin" because I had already acknowledged that the man's behaviour was rude. That was not the point of my post.

usernamechanged1 · 15/04/2023 15:58

I’d have dropped his keys back on the floor for him to pick up.

Arsehole behaviour.

Jonei · 15/04/2023 15:59

usernamechanged1 · 15/04/2023 15:58

I’d have dropped his keys back on the floor for him to pick up.

Arsehole behaviour.

Yep.

Spanielsarepainless · 15/04/2023 15:59

Just another rude, aggressive, misogynistic man wanting to ruin a helpful woman's day.

cricketmam · 15/04/2023 16:00

This is the UK in 2023. He is being completely and utterly unreasonable

sadieshavingashindig · 15/04/2023 16:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Honestly thought this was sarcasm at first. Sadly not.

ladyofshertonabbas · 15/04/2023 16:07

He’s just an a*hole.

Goodoccasionallypoor · 15/04/2023 16:09

Well this is all very depressing.

A man is rude to a woman in public.

MUST BE BECAUSE HE'S MUSLIM, WE SHOULD STOP PANDERING TO RELIGION, THIS IS ENGLAND IN 2023!!

You sound like a bunch of ignorant loons.

Justalittlebitduckling · 15/04/2023 16:10

We’re a society in which you have equal right to operate in a public space as men. You only touched him as a last resort. He has no right to shout at you like that. You can be religious without being a dick.

Cherryblossoms85 · 15/04/2023 16:12

He was just rude.