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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I inadvertently disrespected someone's religion

157 replies

LondonElle · 15/04/2023 13:39

Was out shopping today with a Friend and our children and noticed the gentleman in front of me car keys fall out of his pocket and him and his wife didn't notice, the queue was moving fast and I didn't want them being stepped on or lost so I tried to get his attention, I said excuse me gently at first and then louder but I couldn't attract him or his wife's attention, so I lightly tapped him on the shoulder and pointed to they keys he had dropped. He looked aghast and shouted at me... I was quite taken aback he then grabbed the keys but looked fuming with me.
My friend who I was with said that it may be because of his religion, (his wife was dressed in a burka and had her face covered) and the fact that as a female I shouldn't have touched him... I genuinely didn't know this was the case and didn't know how else to have caught his attention as they were about to walk off prior to me pointing out the keys... I feel a bit awful now like I disrespected someone's religion inadvertently. Am I really that much or an ignorant person?

OP posts:
Abouttimemum · 15/04/2023 16:13

Just sounds like a tosser in my opinion. You did nothing wrong.

goldfinchfan · 15/04/2023 16:14

This reply has been deleted

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MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 15/04/2023 16:15

You can be religious without being a dick.

Yep, and you can be a dick without being religious.

We know that this man was religious and we know that he was a dick. What we don't know is whether or not those two factors were connected.

There seems to be a lack of understanding on this thread of basic logic.

Goodoccasionallypoor · 15/04/2023 16:17

This reply has been deleted

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MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 15/04/2023 16:17

ProudMuslima · 15/04/2023 15:36

Exactly this. 100%. Thank you @MrsBennetsPoorNerves you said exactly what I wanted to say in a much better way 😊
I llllove your username and I llllove everything Jane Austen ❤

Yes, me too. JA rocks! Smile

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 15/04/2023 16:18

SleepHygieneHelp · 15/04/2023 13:41

You were trying to help them. I wouldn't worry too much that you may have inadvertently offended them. You weren't to know ifs off limits in their religion

As is often the case, the first reply on the thread nails it.

Linio · 15/04/2023 16:21

Why do you think he was rude because of his religion rather than he was just a rude arse?

BlackBarbies · 15/04/2023 16:21

Yawn

RicherThanYews · 15/04/2023 16:22

Don't let it get you down Op. My Islamic colleagues and friends were much nicer when they explained why they couldn't shake my hand, pity the stranger couldn't have been friendly and appreciative. Assuming he's religious at all of course.

Linio · 15/04/2023 16:22

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 15/04/2023 16:15

You can be religious without being a dick.

Yep, and you can be a dick without being religious.

We know that this man was religious and we know that he was a dick. What we don't know is whether or not those two factors were connected.

There seems to be a lack of understanding on this thread of basic logic.

This.

Aposterhasnoname · 15/04/2023 16:22

Singapore4 · 15/04/2023 14:29

I bet he wouldn't of shouted at a man though.

Ummm, well given that the supposed problem is a woman touching him, then no, he wouldn’t have shouted at a man as that wouldn’t have been a problem. Not that I’m defending him.

Ponderingwindow · 15/04/2023 16:23

If his religion or philosophical belief require him to be disrespectful to a person trying to engage in a positive social interaction, then that aspect of his religion does not deserve respect or even consideration.

Moveoverdarlin · 15/04/2023 16:25

I wouldn’t give it a seconds thought. You were trying to help. That’s it.

potatowhale · 15/04/2023 16:25

I'd just not think anything more of it. Clearly he didn't like it and that's fair enough I'd not like being touched unexpectedly.

rumpsteak · 15/04/2023 16:26

I'd have kicked them down the nearesgt grid, the rude prick.

topcat2014 · 15/04/2023 16:31

That's rough OP. He deserves to have lost his keys.

I don't really know or care about other religions special rules.

They certainly don't apply to me.

peechie · 15/04/2023 16:31

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 15/04/2023 16:15

You can be religious without being a dick.

Yep, and you can be a dick without being religious.

We know that this man was religious and we know that he was a dick. What we don't know is whether or not those two factors were connected.

There seems to be a lack of understanding on this thread of basic logic.

If this was quoted from me, well done on removing the other two paragraphs I wrote, where is aid 99% of religious people don't act like this and that it's HIS problem👍

Why do people do this? I'm saying the same thing as you in a different way

ExpatInSlavikLand · 15/04/2023 16:35

topcat2014 · 15/04/2023 16:31

That's rough OP. He deserves to have lost his keys.

I don't really know or care about other religions special rules.

They certainly don't apply to me.

This.

Redebs · 15/04/2023 16:38

Sounds like there was a misunderstanding OP. Good on you for doing the right thing and don't let it stop you doing similar again in the future, should the need arise.
I bet the guy is really embarrassed at the way he reacted and is probably being teased about it by his family, led by the woman he was with 🤣

Whether his reaction was due to religious (Muslim and Jewish) guidance on avoiding touching members of the opposite sex, fear on his behalf, mental illness or anxiety, it doesn't make any difference. He shouldn't have reacted like that, but no harm done.

Redebs · 15/04/2023 16:39

potatowhale · 15/04/2023 16:25

I'd just not think anything more of it. Clearly he didn't like it and that's fair enough I'd not like being touched unexpectedly.

Yep

mainsfed · 15/04/2023 16:43

Ponderingwindow · 15/04/2023 16:23

If his religion or philosophical belief require him to be disrespectful to a person trying to engage in a positive social interaction, then that aspect of his religion does not deserve respect or even consideration.

Except multiple Muslims have explained upthread that Islam does not “require him to be disrespectful to a person trying to engage in a positive social interaction” Hmm

Toddlerteaplease · 15/04/2023 16:51

He sounds like a
Horrible person. You did him a favour.

SupplyIsLimited · 15/04/2023 16:52

There's nothing disrespectful about what you did, and if he's that sensitive to the occasional completely non-sexual touch of a female, he's in for a difficult time of it! He's the problem here, acting like a psycho just because someone tapped him on the shoulder to save him extra effort later on. (Assuming this is all true...)

Toddlerteaplease · 15/04/2023 16:54

@CoffeeCantata I agree. Any thread about Christianity turns nasty. But doesn't happen to other religions.

Goodoccasionallypoor · 15/04/2023 16:55

Toddlerteaplease · 15/04/2023 16:54

@CoffeeCantata I agree. Any thread about Christianity turns nasty. But doesn't happen to other religions.

You don't think there's any nastiness on this thread?

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