To ask what you would you in this in-law holiday situation of caravan sharing

[TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl]

Have a family holiday to Dorset in July at a Haven-type place. We all booked it in September last year. Us (me DH 2 kids) SIL (her, BIL and their 8yo DS) have each booked a 3-bed caravan and FIL (him and StepMIL) have booked a 2 bed. SIL then invited MIL to stay in hers in their 3rd bedroom, for free. MIL is on her own, works minimum wage job and would never otherwise be able to afford a holiday herself, and has told me she is looking forward to having a bedroom to herself.

Our kids are 6&10 and we planned to use all 3 bedrooms in our caravan as we have a boy and a girl and they don’t always love sharing a room on holiday. 10yo DD is also now (fairly) wanting people to respect her privacy especially when she gets changed etc.

So to summarise: at the point of booking, our caravan is technically full, SIL’s caravan is full and FIL’s caravan has 1 spare room.

Except SIL has now invited our 11yo niece (their brother’s DD) and also her adult DD (22) and adult DD’s boyfriend on the holiday. She is the type of person who doesn’t EVER think things through. MIL posted on the family WhatsApp group asking where the new people are gonna stay.

Anyway, FIL has offered to have 11yo niece in his 2nd bedroom. So SIL asked if we can have her adult DD and boyfriend in ours. Otherwise they will have to stay in her caravan and poor MIL will be relegated to the pull out bed in the living room.

Im really annoyed at it all, because if I’m being honest I don’t want ANYONE in our caravan except the 4 of us. We technically have the space but I’ve only met 22yo’s boyfriend twice I’m not keen on having him stay in the same space as us. I also don’t want 11yo niece as she constantly picks on my kids, she’s really rough with them, always hitting them, shows them TikTok videos and does stupid annoying things.

But I feel bad for MIL that she will be relegated to the sofa. Also, no money is being offered for us hosting extra people and it wasn’t a cheap holiday either.

I want to be able to walk around in my short nightie, fart, talk about personal things with my DH that I don’t want other people to hear, and laze around like a sloth without worrying what other people think.

We already had a wobble over this bloody holiday when we booked it as SIL said to me “Your DD can stay in our caravan, (their) DS will want her there with him” and I had to say no sorry but our DD will be staying with us.

My DH has said he thinks we should say no, it’s our caravan and we booked it without the expectation of extra people. And that MIL needs to fight her own corner. But I think that’s gonna be SUPER awkward and unkind.

YANBU - Tell them to bugger off and enjoy your holiday
YABU - Share your caravan you horrible cow!

It/'s not your job to "host" people your SIL invited along for the ride. It's your family's holiday and I totally agree that your caravan should be just your caravan. If you agree to do it, they will expect you to pay for everything for the extra lodgers too. You and your family deserve to have a bit of privacy on your holiday. YANBU

That shocks the heck out of me that anyone could suggest that the OPs family suffer even a minor inconvenience because SIL cannot keep her trap shut and her mouth makes promises her brain cannot keep.
It is YOUR holiday OP. You don't deserve to have to open your caravan or move your children around to suit your SIL's motor mouth.
For the people actually suggesting that the 11-yr-old niece share with her daughter. Did you read the whole post and about how horribly that niece treats the OP's DC? Why punish HER kids? smdh

Did you miss this part of the OP's post?

" I also don’t want 11yo niece as she constantly picks on my kids, she’s really rough with them, always hitting them, shows them TikTok videos and does stupid annoying things."

DD should spend the holiday being bullied because SIL opened her big mouth? It's on SIL to fix it on her dime and no one else's. Just having the 11 yr-old niece there will be miserable enough for her own children. SIL is rude, crude and not the brightest bulb in the chandelier.

So SIL has invited people who are basically getting a free holiday at your expense, NO way would I be changing my plans for some freeloaders!

Correction. YANBU

It’s not your problem. Your SIL can sort it out and this doesn’t involve you. Say no to her demands. Can’t the 22yr old stay in a tent?

Stick to your guns. I would be furious let the couple book their own caravan. I also like my privacy you can do what you want when you want. If you have someone else in your caravan and rhey want to stay out later than you then you have the joy of being woken up when they come in. Stick to your guns and refuse. Its your holiday enjoy it your way.

What you WANT to do is say 'no, sorry, it's just us four in our caravan'.
So do that. Don't offer an explanation. There could be any number of reasons why you want/need it to be just you four and those reasons are no-one else's business. Don't engage with any questions or attempted debate/dialogue on the subject. Be polite but firm. Apologise once only that you can't accommodate their requests and then don't engage further.
See how it feels (it feels GOOD).
Assert your boundaries and stick to them.

Me to hilarious i am in a mobile home end of this week on holiday in the south
of France 2 adults and 2 children normality lol the above is a comedy show 🤣🤣🤣

Tell SIL if she wants them there then book another caravan for them..her expense..she invited them. You need your own space...it's a holiday!

I would be responding that you’re very sorry but you don’t have any spare rooms and don’t want anyone sleeping in your lounge… you want a space where you as a family of 4 have privacy and time to relax…
Your SIL needs to uninvited her extra guests… she needs to just tell them she’s sorry but she overestimated the amount of room!!!

THIS

I think expecting you to give up any of your space for HER guests is CAF!!

I wouldn’t have anyone extra in my space either… I also wouldn’t want to book with these people again unless you make you make it VERY clear before booking that no extra guests are welcome in your caravan… so if they want to invite extra they need to book a much bigger caravan!!

Not your problem. If SIL wants to have people sleeping on the floor in her caravan that's up to her. You shouldn't have to be crowded because SIL is stupid. Sounds like she may have to uninvite them. I would just make it clear I don't want extra people in my caravan and don't plan on inviting anyone else to stay in it.

Unless you are véry rich and this holiday is only one of the oh so many you take.......keep your caravan for your own family, let nobody else in. Hell, buy a chain and lock so they can't sneak in while you went to the beach.

If it was me, I wouldn't be considering finding a solution to what your SIL has done, I would just tell her that it will be you four in your caravan, no explanations needed. Your DH should sort out the MIL situation with his sister. Caravans are tight enough without an extra pair!

I wouldn't be up for sharing no matter with whom or what the dynamic or how anyone else felt about it. Never ever. Stand firm. SiL is wrong for issuing invited without considering how others feel. NO NO NO. End of discussion.

If you say 'yes' it will be a huge mistake and you'll regret it.
Imagine getting breakfast or snacks and who does the buying or clearing up? Who cleans the shower or toilet. If someone's sleeping in your living space and they don't get up in the morning, where can you sit down. Too many things you won't be able to do as you (the OP) mentioned. No family privacy. Enjoy your holiday .

SIL invited her so she needs to sort the accommodation for MIL. NOT your problem.

Since SIL created the mess, how about SIL sleeps on sofa pull out and the 2 23yr old take a room and other room goes to MIL. All in SIL's caravan.

Glad to hear you update that DH has booked trips out for the 4 of you
Will give you much needed space
Otherwise you'll need another holiday to get over this one!

I can't for the life of me imagine why on Earth the DD's boyfriend would want to come on this holiday.

Because FIL remarried 😂😂

Any updates?? Did SIL get back to your DH?

I don't understand how any of this is your problem?? SIL added extra people, it's her problem to sort.
Your DD needs her own room. End of story.

I think the being with MIL is defo the lesser of two evils but it’s not what you want for a holiday.People often get caught up and invite others to things with good intentions but now it’s imposing on you and your family.

maybe send them some options of somewhere they could stay nearby? It’s nice to join the fun with others but not to the detriment of their holiday space and privacy I totally understand why you need this it’s your holiday ! Don’t feel awkward for setting some boundaries sometimes we have to do what we feel or you could end up in a crappy mood when you’re there and should be enjoying xx